by frankies90
Rather choppy sentences. Didn't flow as it should. Better grammar usage is recommended. Other than that, it was a good story. Gave me a few ideas I will try out on my own lover.
Hi, Thankyou for this story - it is wonderful, written with feeling by someone who has done this, especially the massage. I started off by marking this with a "5", and then I started coming across the errors, one after the other ... entire sentences that just did not make sense, not just one but very many, followed by punctuation errors, one after the other. On the one hand I enjoyed your story, and just as I was warming to it again, along would come another series of errors. So finally, I marked this with a "1". If you think that I should not be so scathing, or so picky, a story is a story in its entirety. For God's sake, get a proofreader to help you. Cheers and regards, Michael.