Lyrical poetry - beautiful and full of romance and sensuousness.
This was amazing. A beautiful story. One of the best I have read in a very long time. Comgratulations and thank you.
A unique twist to an old tale. It could have turned out horribly if written by the wrong person, but you've executed it perfectly. Brilliant.
That story was amazing. Extremely well-written, descriptive, romantic, erotic, poetic, and very very beautiful. Loved it.
oh my word can not decribe how wonderful this was written i loved it so .... i just can't describe it
This was well-written. I was so engrossed in the story that I forgot to masterbate. I always wondered about Rosaline.
well written, and unique idea, but i think you mixed up your characters a little, Romeo is a montegue, not tybalt, i don't mean to be insulting i just think if you're going to continue a story by probably the most famous writer in history, it should be accurate
I've got a book you should read, by a little known author, William SHAKESPEARE!! Romeo WAS a Montague!! and Tybalt was his best friend, NOT to mention the fact that neither of the two of them would have been at a CAPULET banquet party.
I'm all for literary license, but you should at least READ the author who's work your bastardizing before you do it!!!
Tybalt was his own best friend, not Romeo's, and this actually fits into the scheme of the night, as we do not know of tybalt's whereabouts until he appears in market square the following day. He is obviously unhappy after the party ends in the Capulet manor and seeks Romeo the very next morning, but this seems a plausable answer, as he was not one to sit idle, he would have begun that night and since Romeo was in the gardens of the Capulet compound, he would have been impossible to find.
Rosaline was at the party that night and Romeo paid her no attention, it was Benvolio (Romeo's best friend) who stood wrapped in Rosaline's fair glow, but we know him to have departed with the other Montegues, so her location is as well undetermined.
Well done. From one writer to another, this is more art than matter and William would be proud; he was, himself considered vulgar to those who understood his texts. And he was, God love him. He was so far ahead of his time that we are still trying to catch up to him and this scene actually adds dimension to the conflict and would have made a good scene. After Romeo's departure from Juliet's whiles, he goes quickly to the Friar Lawrence's council and is reminded of Rosaline and his doting on her. "A young man's love lies not truly in the heart, but in the loins."
This scene proves the point. Impressive. Anything else would have been less tastful or simply out of line to the original text, this fits.
Although the author forgot Tybalt was a Capulet, they were still correct in stating that Tybalt and Romeo were enemies-- to the idiot who should take their own advice and read Shakespeare! it was well written and I always wondered myself what happened to Rosaline.
i seriously wanted to cry with the bit about finger. really sweet.
With all the people commenting that s/he doesn't know Shakespeare, I think it's only fair to point out that it is refered to as both 'his Uncle's banquet' and the 'Capulet banquet'. I'm sure the author knows what they are writing about. The comment about Romeo's name bringing disgust to any Montague was probably just a momentary error.
As for the rather rude individual: Mercutio was Romeo's best friend. Tybalt was killed in the duel with Romeo (a key plot development, that saw Romeo banished from Verona). A person would assume anyone with even the vaguest knowledge of the Baz Luhrmann adaption would know that.
Otherwise, a well-written, well-researched, tasteful scene, which also has the advantage of being accurate. The bittersweet ending was particularly touching, and bearing an irony that quite fits the tone of Shakespeare's tragedies.
wow, i was looking for a quick fix, and ended up with a tear jerker.
I enjoyed your story as it looked at this long-familiar tale from a different point of view. It was generally well-written, and the rape/seduction very nice. Just a couple of picky errors for a Shakespeare geek like me to point out: Tybalt was a Capulet, Romeo the Montague. And Rosaline generally would not have been her father's heir, because women of the time WERE property, and therefore not allowed to OWN property. Otherwise, you handled the language and the tradition of the story very well!
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