I like how you really take a subject and delve into it. But the style does not work.. break it up and rewrite it read it as it is and you see it is like one long runon sentence or ... was the length the thing? lol..
I like the imagery here.
Also feel like Du, a lil more
editing/formatting as I call it.
I do like the view behind the wording here.
Just Yummmy~!!! *Grins*
Nah My Friend, thinkin no one
can blame ya for the thought or actions ...
*Grins n Laughs*
Du Lac has given you great advice. As written, this does nothing for me.
This is not a poem. It is a couple of sentences.
you wrote your feelings into words, they call this...poetry. (~_~)
So good that I'm copying and pasting it to an Email to my girlfriend so she can see how I feel when I'm away from her. Thank you for writing what I feel when I'm thinking of her. Now she will feel it, too.
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