Sorry Angel, but this ending really didn't fit. He knew she had sex with another guy at least once. Why would he even touch her without her passing at least 1 STD test? Also, she lied again - she said she only cheated once, when in part one she cheated multiple times, with multiple partners. A lie detector test wouldn't be a bad idea before attempting reconciliation. Lastly, do you honestly think a man that devasted from his marriage is just going to forgive her that easily? That is ridiculous. I also find it very difficult to believe he would have intimate relations with anyone that soon after the incident. The only thing I see him doing is taking the tape to a divorce lawyer, and starting the divorce process. Of course he could put it off if she passed a lie detector test, and std tests, but that wouldn't happen.
Despite your excellent writing, the plot not only missed the boat, but it missed the entire coastline in my opinion.
I hope your next work continues a decent plot throughout the entire story.
Stick your next chapter.
Not everyone reacts the same way and no one has the right to judge what is right or wrong for another couple. I loved the way you expressed their emotions and turmoils. Great job!!! Keep up the good work.
Would love to see more of her submitting to other women while he watches/participates since she obviously enjoyed it - while not fulfill his fantasy again and again while she pays her retribution.
OK. At least there is a bit of equity for the husband in this one. I think there has to be a lot more strange pussy for the husband and MUCH more anguish for the cheating wife before I'll accept a reconciliation. Not a bad effort for this genre.
IT had been years and he could 'tell' that she was sorrowful.
Then she had to experience it, live, with him.
The revenge sex part started to make my skin crawl but this I can deal with. Still personally not ok with it, but the way it was done was interesting. Not the first time I've seen it but done well.
Was it a little, abrupt and curt at the end IMO? yup BUT not as bad as some stories, and the years/test did have something to account for it.
All in all I liked it. And don't worry, there is no 'wimp' in here.
two thumbs up and a cry for more!
The key in a story like this, IMHO, is how you handle the switching point. In this case, she's standing there, apologizing and you immediately switch to his heart going out to her and then into sex. It doesn't work, at least for me, in part because he was so angry only a few seconds before. My thought is that if you went the anger route, you have to do more, write more, because this isn't going to end so quickly. If he simply told her he'd already been getting back at her, then she could cry some and you could bring them together then.
but still compared to the first chapter I think this was kinda poor to be honest. Not horrible but poor. Wouldn't even say it's a wimp out but at the same time the wife got way to much enjoyment out of this.
I would give this a rating of 65 or 70 to be honest. I wish there were more rating options. A lot of times I don't think a story deserves a 50 or not exactly a 75 but something in the middle and there isn't a way of showing that with the ratings. Just want to make sure that was understood.
He has seen her on video with another man. We know she cheated more then once. Granted while she might not have enjoyed as must as with her husband, I think it was said she didn't, it still took place. Then there is the situation of her allowing someone else taking her anal virginity. Had someone else done that before they even meet it wouldn't be a big deal but they are married and no one should even have touched her or taken any virginity other then her husband unless they had gotten divorced before going there.
I know this is your story but I wish she had responded differently to seeing the other woman. She should have felt even more dispair I think. I know you didn't want this a s a revenge story but something should have been done to really make her feel and understand the pain he felt. True she had her own but I doubt it compared to his.
Maybe had he waited some time to actually see her, or made her watch him pleasure someone else (him being the first anal for someone else for example), or him turning her away due to the pain with them seeking some help with their marriage.
Not saying her life should have been ruined or harm come to her but still something more should have been done to really make her realize what she had made him feel. Then there are the feelings that would go through his mind. Did he think about the guy she was wife while with him? Was he good enough for her anymore? Why did she even keep the tape? Why didn't she pretend he was her first when they had anal sex to really make it seem like he was the first as to not make it seem strange that she liked it all of a sudden? After all she had already lied and betrayed him. She should have thought if he thought she didn't really love him or felt satisfied with him.
She should have thought about these concerns or at least spent some time on these. Granted this would have made the chapter a little longer though.
I'm glad he doesn't want to see her with another man but I still think she's getting way to much pleasure out of this and getting off kind of easy. I wouldn't want to see a cruel revenge story either or even revenge. Just something done to really make her understand what he's feeling in conjunction with her own guilty feelings.
Though I am looking forward to a chapter 3. Would like to see what the aftermath of this little hotel room event is. Will there be second thoughts once they wake up in the morning? What will the wife feel knowing that she not only watched her husband have sex with someone else but might think he tried harder with the other woman? Or the fact that the woman was there and he would have been her even if the wife didn't show up. How will she deal with the fact that she (the video of her) actually drove him to the arms of another woman so quickly? Was the impact of the video that strong on him and screwed with his head that much to do that?
Even if those topics aren't touched on I would still love to see a chapter 3.
not that it probably matters. first off, i owe an appology to phoenix764. in another story i evidently misinterpreted his comment and misjudged his character and persona. since then i have agreed with several of his opinions on other stories. now back to this story. i was well and deep into it, no pun intended, up and until she entered the room and saw the other girl. my first thought was prostitute. would have to be. how could a sweet, trusting, loving, faithful husband find a strange piece of ass that quick unless it was a prostitute. then he clears it all up with his explanation of who she is. left me high and dry at that point. didn't make any plausable sense at all. he leaves the house, checks in at the hotel, gets settled into his room, wife comes home, finds the note, rushes to the hotel, beats on his door, in this short of time he has found and secured the sexual services of a friends sister. if this were true, there's an old saying that i would apply to the situation at this point. "i wouldn't screw her with your dick". talk about a whore and slut. i'd want not just one condom, but maybe about 10, hell, i'd want a full body latex covering. then i want my wife's mouth on that pussy, or that mouth on my wife's pussy. not likely, not if i intended to have anymore sexual relations with my wife. phoenix, in this story, i think you're demanding the std test for the wrong person. if i were the wife, i'd have walked out and demanded him to now get the test. to the author, loved the story up to this point, but as you can guess, you lost me right there. nothing to do with your writing abilities, which i think are very good. it's strickly the story line to me.
THE AFFAIR WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT THE FACT THAT SHE GAVE HER ANAL VIRGINITY TO ANOTHER MAN IS UNFORGIVABLE IN MY OPINION. SHE DENIED HER HUSBAND FOR YEARS YET SHE GAVE IT UP TO ANOTHER MAN THE FIRST TIME SHE CHEATED. I SAY DIVORCE THE WHORE. I HAVE ONE QUESTION. WAS HE HAVING AN AFFAIR? HE DID HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN IN HIS HOTEL ROOM PRETTY SOON AFTER LEAVING HIS HOUSE. MAKES YOU WONDER. MAYBE HE CONFESSES TO HER AND TELL HER THATS THE REASON HE IS FORGIVING HER. JUST A THAUGHT.
I just wanted to clarify that this story made no sense to me from the point that another woman was in his room. I am highly disappointed in the author, who certainly has done much better work. In my own opinion everything from the openning of the hotel door to the end makes no sense based on both time, character background, and human emotions. Authors certainly have a right to write the story in any way they so choose. I am simply stating my opinion, which people may agree with or not.
I knew that this story wasn't going to get as good a reception, because it isn't hte normal revenge or wimp husband story. I chose that deliberately.
However, I think that a couple things need to be cleared up, because people aren't reading carefully enough... or SOMEthing.
Suzie cheated on her husband one time and one time only. Yes, she kept the tape... how many of us have done stupid inexplicable things? Their relationship is kinda touch and go at this point. And she did pretend that her husband got her anal virginity, if the reader who commented on that would remember.
Granted, STD's are a valid thing... however, htis is supposed to be a fantasy story. to me, there is nothing less erotic than worrying about an STD, which is why you will never see it included in ANY of my stories. I understand that some people prefer complete realism, I just wanted to explain why I don't write like that. It's just not my preference is all =)
There may be a third chapter... I'm intrigued by all the interest this series has generated. Again, the third chapter would probably be something very different that won't please either side... and I kinda like it that way. I think that too many stories go for one side or the other, I kinda like this toeing the line thing... and maybe no one's completely happy, but no one seems to hate it completely either. That seems pretty good to me =)
god, i think i enjoy this too much. to goldeniangel, i agree most stories are fantasy, but!!!! it should be the author's desire to pull us in. make us a part of that fantasy. it's your world. you are creating it. we are only guest. invited by you to enter this mental world and become a part of it. we invest our time, our mental energy, and our emotional feelings, and this we do happily if you have made your fantasy interesting to us. i wholeheartedlyy agree with you that worrying about std's is a pure turnoff. i even hate stories that involve reminders of safe sex. on the other hand, in cheating stories, the threat of std's is a potent weapon. requiring testing is a conscience squeezer. i love it's use in the right applications. my whole point about the new girl in his room is very simple. no previous mention of her. no previous mention of her coming on to him. no previous mention of her extending any open invitation for sex with her anytime, anyplace. in the story we are rocking along, emotionally involved one way or the other with the two main characters, then bam, here she is. as i previously said, how could a sweet, loving, trusting, faithful husband, in very short order, end up in bed with someone who is not either a prostitute or one of the biggest whores in town. the fantasy that you created and i was enjoying, came crashing down at that point. you have safe sex with the girl at work, you high school girlfriend, your mother, your sister, your aunt, the girl next door, your cousin, etc., etc. not a stranger who is willing to jump into bed in five minutes with anyone. as i said, i think, no, let me reword that, i know by your stories and your writing, that you are a damn good author. don't let all this get you down, and please understand, i will read chapter three if you write it. looking forward to it as a matter of fact. curious to see how you will handle their new relationship.
The husband made certain promises, as did the wife. But when the wife broke her promises... all bets were off. If a store sells you defective merchandise you have every right to cancel the check that you signed for it. So it is here - hubby can find a friend to comfort him... and wifey hasn't the right to object after her betrayal.
(Most married men are more attractive than bachelors, for a multitude of reasons. A man who works hard and was loyal is considered a real catch... except, sadly, by the woman who ought to appreciate him)
As regards continued chapters - or continued marriage - that is up to the husband, as well as the wife. The trust was broken and must be rebuilt. Husband must be willing to trust again; wife must be willing to put in the effort to earn that trust.
Oh, and as for the STDs and Goldeniangel's story concepts... she's the author. You don't like her stories, don't read them.
Another bomb from goldie. She is truly the most fucked up writer on this site.
Make up your mind.
Below you say: Suzie cheated on her husband one time and one time only. Yes, she kept the tape.
In chapter 1 you have Suzie tell us: She'd been unfaithful to Bradley several times.
You can't have it both ways, BUT you bloody well should remember what you wrote in chapter one before you start on chapter 2.
And, how could you possibly say the husband isn't a wimp?? How much weaker would he need to be for you to call him a wimp?
Anonomous wrote "Another bomb from goldie. She is truly the most fucked up writer on this site."
No way! Not close!
Sarahhh has won the lifetime achievement award in this category (Most Fucked up Writer) and it's been retired. No one else even comes close.
Go Goldie! Thanks for your stories.
Please give us a third chapter. Pleeeze.
This is so far off the mark that it is apparent that the author is writing about something she has absolutely no experience with.
Something doesn't seem to fit here. He castigates her and storms off to a hotel. He's no more enscounced then she comes to apoligize and he is already in bed with another woman?
Why is he in bed violating the vows he prizes so highly?
Yes, I can see him getting back with her because it happens despite the anonymous twits who would have the straying wife burned at the stake (after being properly flogged).
But, To force his lady to betray her vows yet again makes no sense. - A befuddled Horny 'ol Sailor, Ronnie W.
....he had left and wasn't guaranteeing that he would return yet. The threesome was part of him getting back with her. That was MY impression, at least. Once someone leaves or breaks up, all bets are off, so it wasn't cheating anyway. Also, she deserved to be punished, especially for denying him his anal fantasy while giving it to someone else. Naturally, she should make it up to him by giving him his OTHER fantasy of a threesome, if he is going to come back to her. Karma is karma. The punishment MUST fit the crime, so to speak. This is a lot better than those silly wimp/cuckold and raging hubby murdering wife and beating up her lover stories. I'm impressed with this one. It's one of her better tales.
Group sex means you have sex with multiple people at the same time. That means you can do and should do any thing you like, with any one involved.
That ALSO MEANS you can DENY yourself, your husband or wife, any sex, in ANY MANNER; OR you can give it to any OTHER person any kind of sex; or have them take it as they want.
It's group sex, for crying out loud. Don't come and tell us how you gonna take revenge on this or that person when you engage --- willingly and happily --- in group sex, and feel, somewhere along the line, you've been left out in some fantasies (about wanting to fuck your spouse some precious hole but it was instewad given to one of these other dudes)!
Who cares if one person changes his or her mind about something or others! Or if someone feels like he or she is left out of something interesting or good! That person should simple LEAVE the group scene and problems are solved!
Don't be idiots!
Have read both parts of your story and loved both of them. In part one you did 2 things that I thought were great. The first was you made the husband an exceptional lover by THE WIFE's admission. Second you let the husband be more relateable as a man by having him both turned on by the tape BUT still angry at his wife for the betrayal. Alot of your readers can't understand that but I do. I thought the anal virginity situation was excellent. I didn't particularly care for him leaving and going to a hotel. Leaving a note instead of confronting her with the tape running (It must have been a very long tape) seemed to weaken him BUT that's my personal opinion.
Part 2 I liked because it dealt me a reverse. I expected to read and feel the drama of the confrontation. Instead you deal the reader an expansive new scene. I got the feeling that the wife was set up. One hotel, He and Amanda already undressed. I asked myself could this be a story headed toward reconciliation or a sweet revenge. I look forward to what you will create in part 3.
REad ya later
hahahahaha.... if this story was in the humour and satire category, maybe i would have rated it a 2.
thanks for the best laugh i've had today.
Great story, both parts, but io would like to see a future.
He may forgive her for what she did, but do they now have a taste for group sex,...maybe that is something they should explore.....?!?!
in part 1 she stated several encounters not one. Wimphubby# 9999
he beats himself to a orgasm while watching the wifey being lovingly sodomized, screaming, "giving it to me, lover, give to me deep,,,!"
he lets go of his dick and, suddnely remembering what he's watching, turns all indignantly red, he says! lol
write her a short note: "you whore, don't come to get me by the motel,,,"
he drives to a motel, the only one in the vicinity, and 5 minutes later, the wifey shows up, "i'm so very sorry, that's the only time,"
and he says to himself, "hmmm, she must be right, she looks so defeated! gosh, I love it, I'm torturing her so painfully,,,, it hurts her even more than being sodomized!"
"i'm so very sorry, I do'n't wanna lose you,,, I'll do ANY THING " blah, blah
"hmmm???," the dick-jerking hubby says to himself,,, thinking, with a smile now! lol
two short paragraphs latter, I didn't know why it was fast, as I didn't read those two short paragraphys, there she was, munching on some hooker,,, with her ass sticking in the air; he plunges in, twisting, trying to out-do the othe guy who went into that hole first, which got him orgasm nicely watching and beating himself a few hours prior,,,
they go home. he says, "honey, you have been very bad,,, I think I need to punish you more!" "you are the man!"
this is like 3rd graders talking (except of course the subject is not one 3rd graders know much about)
I think hubby should have drugged suzie then strapped her to a chair then made her watch them have sex with more than 1 women
Suzie should be glad that he didnt have her fuck a dog or a muke that would be a good punishment great story goldeniangel keep up the great stories.
Husband is so hopless he should have left her before she showed up at the motel .
A well told tale, you're obviously an accomplished writer and I'm quite willing to provide a certain suspension of disbelief, but this is just too much. Your protagonist is so freaked out by his wife's betrayal of their marriage that he runs off to a hotel so he can decide about their future. This decision is so momentous that he has to arrange for his co-worker's bisexual sister to instantly drop whatever she's doing so she can get naked and help him betray the same marriage. Add a tearful wife, stir in an impromptu threesome and suddenly everything will be OK? Maybe these folks could eventually end up here but you're going to have to show us at least SOME of the steps along the way. I got to the end of Ch. 1 and hoped there would be more. As it turns out, I found Ch. 2 so unbelievable that I would rather you had just stopped at the end of Ch. 1. Thank you for sharing your talents with us and please keep writing your stories because I intend to keep reading them.
Sorry but you seem somewhat prejudiced to me as well as slightly retarded.. Do you really believe that some one you cheated on betraying both love and trust, taking it up your ass would want you again? ...And in what way would a threesome get that trust back... And love would then come with the male lover I presume? ...Please... Stay with your 'wanking wimp story's'... Don't try any realistic story lines... It's not your forte...cheers Yoron.
I cant believe some one took the time to write and I cant believe I was dumber to read this
Wife cheats on husband and just because she eats some pussy he forgives her...WHAT???????????????
Bad, really bad.
I just discovered this story from a few years ago. It is not too badly written (in terms of the English language), but the inconsistencies are enough to really hurt the story for me. Other readers have already pointed out some of the most glaring issues. Firstly, the author stated she did not want to write a "wimp husband" story. This story unfortunately came across as just that. Secondly, the "heroine" claimed in the first chapter that she "cheated a few times" while her husband was out of town for 5 months. But in chapter two, she told her husband that the cheat with "Chuck" was her only time (the time shown on the videotape). So she lied to his face. Thirdly, the idea is preposterous that an angry husband would immediately hop into the sack with another woman the evening he stormed out of the house because he learned his wife cuckolded him (while he remained faithful during a lengthy business trip). He would still be too upset and would not trust any woman, let alone be in the mood to screw that quickly. And finally, I must agree that it is unconscionable that she gave up her anal cherry to a strange lover when she refused her spouse's multiple requests. The story may be a fantasy of the author but it did not pass the smell test, or the credulity test, as it were. This really spoiled the story from my perspective.
If you ever find yourself in a sitution like this, never be so foolish as to think the husband would behave like this. This ending would be totally unexceptable to 80% of the male population. Look more closely at your intended demographic if you expect believeability. Unless perhaps you were just writing for women, whom I am sure would love it if their men where no more vengful then this hubby.
This slut runs to the hotel and finds her husband already in bed with a woman, wow, that was quick. Was she his regular or was she his mistress? That isnt even discussed. The wife jumps into bed with him and her and gets her lez side tested and finds it pleasing. So hubby immediately is in love with her again and all is ok. With or without the second woman there is no way in hell a loving husband that had refused women sex, and yes some men do, would take this slut back. There was nothing in that tape that bespoke of only one time or any real reluctance except for the sudden anal. She was a slut, is a slut, was a cheater, is a cheater. There is no evidence given she is not still involved in cheating, that it hasnt come out may just be because he doesnt know about it yet. Nothing the wife can say or do will ever make trusting her real again. What piece of tail is really worth having to watch behind your back 24/7/365?
but I thought it was pretty good. Obviously its fiction, so it doesn't have to pass a reality test - how many stories here do? - and its pretty hot. Sorry a third chapter wasn't written. It'd be nice if amanda was a permenant part of the marriage. Don't reward her by suddenly having her do other men, but since she's now apparently bisexual as well, and her husband (who wouldn't) enjoyed being with 2 women, why not make it permenant? BTW, I wonder what a muke is?
. . . but still a wimp! Divorce the slut wife but keep her around as a fuck buddy for himself and Amanda. You women writers always want to neuter the guy, then keep him around as a "happy" ending. Reconciliation is not always a happy ending.
I'm going to try to explain to you why your ideas about love are WRONG! you see first you can't love someone who does not love you and she showed that she had no love for him by her actions, oh she thought and thinks she loved him but some people think the table told the to kill the dog but that does not make them right or does it make it true. And the thinking the little fuck fest fixed things just means that he didn't love her and was just as stupid as she was. I just hope for your sake you don't think this is in any way a good relationship.
I disagree with the previous comments. There is not one and only one correct way to maintain a relationship between a man and a woman.
Too many people are only interested in reading about experiences that reinforce or validate their sometimes narrow view of life and human emotional interactions. I really liked this story and would like the author to delve more into this particular genre.
deplorable. with such sweet lovable, cucks no wonder the vietnamese fucked them
But why should I? Look at all the crazy shit that has already been said. To me there is only one issue. There are a few things in life you can't take back. Her cheating is such a common thing, why would me waste time talking about it. But giving another man her ass, refusing to do so with her husband is awful. But then offering it to hubby, teaching him how to please is just plain wrong. Ask yourself this. Would you want your wife to teach you about sex because she learned it from her lover? Oh hell no!!!!!
they deserve each other
I thought you said this wasn't a wimp husband story
has opened up. TK U MLJ LV NV
wtf are these WBCs doing in this category? oh, trolling for cuck stories to spank to then criticize, well done chaps!
It is almost as if you had written 20 chapters and then drew out two numbers and put those two chapters together and said it was a story. I just can not imagine a guy reacting as he did.
... youre a great writer. Please continue in this category and by the way there is nothing wrong with revenge as a literary device. Youre good enough to make "Loving Wives" with its stronger plot lines and deeper characters your bitch. The other categories limit your story telling. I've read your other work and it is all above par, but the thing about LW is its inherent relationships. Telling of their beginnings, collapses and resolutions is where you can build and flesh out characters giving them a quality of humanity that will bring you greater pride and satisfaction in your writing. Think of the emotions that people feel when the world they knew turns into a lie. Goldeniangel you need that pallet to paint your stories.
It wasn't bad. It did miss the revenge factor which I think would have made a greater impact on what she had done. However he lived a fantasy so we'll let it go at that.
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