All Comments on 'The Test'

by Dar_Jisbo

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Almost perfect

The actual story was excellent... but you need to review your grammar next time. There are a few small grammatical errors. Other than that, terrific work.

evilspikeevilspikeover 12 years ago
comment

Fine until the ending. Then it fell apart.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Needs a bit of work

You use the same phrase over again in a few places and some of the dialog seems very contrived. Plus the mother making veiled threats because she still has access to the lab does not come off very well. If you have someone read it before posting they could let you know what sounds real and what does not and it would enhance the story. Otherwise not a bad effort. Build it up a bit more and add in a bit more realism and it would get higher votes I am sure.

auwingerauwingerabout 7 years ago
WOW!

That is every teen-ager's dream!!

linnearlinnearover 4 years ago
Sweet

That was a great little story. Quick and right to it, another winner.

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