Between Friends Ch. 02

Good, but could have been better

An illustrated story like this one would have been so much more erotic if the wet spot on her bikini bottom would have shown up on all of the pics. There was only one pic that showed the wet spot, which led me to think that perhaps she had been just fucked, and the wet spot was from the cum leaking from her afterwards so she put on a bikini bottom to make it look like she was shooting cum from her own fluids. Also it would have been much more erotic to show her without any covering, and even better if a nude "camel toe" was shown on both models.

when you are going to do illustrations like this

make sure you don't use the same woman in different clothes.

Agreed- it was good

In a way I agree with the first comment, that it was good but could have been better. But I never agree with anyone who gives a "00" mark. I just feel sorry for whoever is so pathetic that they have to show their inability to write a story by condemning those who can.

note from author

Sorry, the last three pictures were muddled. I will submit this story again. They are actually two distinct women. "Donna" will be seen much more in the second series since "Dave" took these videos and I have only what he gave me. Sometimes truth comes very close to fantasy. Ransom

No pix show in this chapter ....

The photos show as empty boxes. refreshing the page or clicking "SHOW" doesn't work. ch 1 & 3 look OK. This may be a bad link or missing source pix.

Illustrated?

Worst.Story.Ever. Please google illustrated.

very nicely conceived scenario, i can appreciate it

but i don't know why the editors allowed the illustrated tag, when it's clearly not

still, i rate this highly for the content

Nice, but no photos

Once again, nice work. I only wish the illustrations had been here. Keep it up

Still no photos

I'd read it if the pic's were there