by DG Hear
I have no clue at all which way this is going to go (which means you are doing a great job!)
I can think of any number of plausible directions for this. I can only wait!
Don't know where it's headed but I keep waiting for a twist. Good writing. Thank You. Ronnie W.
Could you manage to write more than a few lines at a time?
The first two chapters are almost long enough to be one chapter.
We will get to ch24 if you have another 1000 words for us.
I enjoyed it a great deal. It was clever, original, and well written.
Very original! Seems predictable or see it? It's in the humor/satire? Don't keep us waitien. Get with the writing. haha
An avid fan
A different kind of story, I have enjoyed reading it so far and look foreward to the rest of it. very well done
Why do I get the feeling he is going to enlist a retaliation posse of men that do their damnedest to get in Karen's pants??
Then
when they both explode there will be the biggest orgy in months.
For the poor bastard LOL
Suffer bitch the rest of us do heh
If he can't see what Karen is doing then he deserves what's coming. They should not be getting married. She may be nice, but I think she's about to show her true colors as an angry manipulative bitch. And I don't think he be a one woman man too long. This is a train wreck looking to happen.
No man in his right mind would marry this manipulative bitch. If he does, he can kiss any chance of a happy life goodbye, because she will dominate him forever.
I didn't realize until now that these tales are ten years old. Anyway, she is setting him up big time. Does she want him to fail? And why? The only thing funny is that all the girls at her party, except for the little sister, fucked him before. One more chapter. We'll see...
She's testing him. Listening to these other women he should realize that he and Karen are NOT a good fit for one another. And that she doesn't trust him farther than she could throw an elephant. Does he really want to get married to someone that starts the marriage not trusting her husband? One that will always be looking for flaws in their relationship and expecting him to cheat on her? And why would a policeman not have a security system complete with hidden cameras at his house especially since he stores his gear (including his guns) there? When the lawyer sister shows up that should have been enough for him to be all done. He had to know she told Karen all about their relationship and what a player he was. Why would Karen even consider marrying a man that has slept with her sister and so many of her friends? That just doesn't fit her personality that you gave her in this story. You've made some egregious mistakes in this story. I can't give it a good score.
She's a controlling, manipulative bitch. She's WAY to concerned about getting her own way. He should be breaking their engagement now before things go really wrong.
If he’s having this much trouble in 2 weeks, he’s not ready to be married. He’ll be cheating within the year.
He is devious (camcorder) and she is controlling. Who will win? Their marriage is already a failure due to lack of trust.
3*
BJ
Chapter 2 is worse than chapter 1. He is still devious and playing with fire and so does she. Chapter 3 has an almost impossible task to save this story!
3*
BJ