All Comments on 'The Test Ch. 03'

by DG Hear

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  • 43 Comments
wetapapwetapapover 18 years ago
good job,

nice story. don't need to say more. keep up the good work. a fan always.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
A very nice tale

However you have exposed the male of the species to the charge that we all think with our little heads at all times and not our big head. Unfortunately, too true!

You however did balance the story by love and attempt. It was well done Thank You. Ronnie W.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Great ending!

This is just a great read. How anyone could not like this story is beyond me. After all it was humor/satire. Great jobe DG Hear. More please!

An avid fan

saw_man1saw_man1over 18 years ago
Very Engaging

That was a great ending and a happy one at that. I found myself really rooting for Mark. The test was well planned and diabolical in its execution. I was relieved to see that you let love win out over lust.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Nice story, but...

You really shouldn't be thanking your editor in public if the story is as poorly proofread as this one was.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Very nice!

You did a great job getting into Mark's head. He was going nuts with all hte perceived "plots" against him.

Keep writing these great stories!

Tail End PeteTail End Peteover 18 years ago
Good job.

A very good job of getting inside people's heads. I would have felt better knowing who it was setting up the test if Karen wasn't the one. Thanks for not dragging it out.

AnonymousCriticAnonymousCriticover 18 years ago
where is the reward?

In 01 she said, "Please do it for me. I promise you, you will not regret it on our wedding night." Abstain for a month. So all the while I'm reading to the end I'm wondering what she has planned for him. Nothing. They just went back to having sex like they did before. If it was some psychological benefit, you should have spelled it out.

It is a serious error in a story to promise something and not deliver it. Without the promise he abstained and got to marry her. Okay, that's an acceptable ending. But when you have raised the anticipation level and it never happens, it is human nature to feel let down. It's not just this situation. You find a purse and return it. She sincerely thanks you and tells you how much it means. Good, that's why you do things like that and you feel good. Suppose you heard there was a big reward and you get the same thanks. You're disappointed, maybe angry. Bitch, she promised and lied. In both situations you got the same reward - sincere thanks. In the first it was of value. In the second, your expectations were raised and what would have been sufficient is now an insult, a betrayal. You have to watch out for raising expectations beyond your ability or willingness to deliver.

One additional aspect of raising expectations is that the recipient gets the pleasure of anticipating the result. Often the anticipation of an event is a huge part of the payoff of the event. Oh, boy, I know I'm getting something really special for my birthday, she told me. Whatever it is, if I like it, the anticipation was a gift in itself. If she gives me a card and says, "I though it was really appropriate," I did get to enjoy the anticipation, but I won't remember it fondly because the reality far underperformed my expectations.

We've seen this as a trend in recent stories in Loving Wives. The acts of betrayal are so outrageous that even her family could not accept them. And he not only winds up taking her back, but blames it all on himself. When you go over the top (you, the writer) you promise that the reaction will somehow be commensurate. When that fails, it is a crushing blow to the story and a huge disappointment to the reader.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Great story

Great story, loved the humor in it. You put it all together at the end. I liked that. Please write some more humor stories, I think we could all use a little laugh with our sex life.Bob,USA

The NavigatorThe Navigatorover 18 years ago
Interesting but ...

Please, PLEASE give attention to inserting quotation marks when you are writing what someone says. Always. Some authors think it is cute to write "i" when they mean "I", some just skip capitalizations altogether, and some, as you did, sometimes use quotes and sometimes don't. Have mercy on your poor readers who must try to figure out from the context what is narration and what is quotation. It is a major distraction to an otherwise well written story -- except it appeared you had to rush to catch a plane near the end and shopped it short.

gizzmo301gizzmo301over 18 years ago
Good

Very good story enjoyed it

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
ha ha

very good

entertaining

welldone dude!

PEATBOGPEATBOGabout 18 years ago
Clever plot !!

I enjoyed the series. The fact that he was a 'woman chaser' trying to reform was not helped by the fact that most of her friends and sisters had been, or wanted to be screwed by him! That he remained faithful was a fantasy, but aren’t all stories on LITEROTICA fantasies? However, if he had not suspected that he was being tested, would he have been so faithful? Another great tale DG.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
incredible

I think you did a great job DG it makes you think are you given the Test to prove your love to your wife?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Aww

Wow what a great story. nice plot and im happy you held out. Keep up the good work!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
I Only Have One Question.....

Why is there no scene of our boy slapping the shit out of Karens 'buddies', not to mention her 'Daddy'?? Every last one of them made a concerted effort to derail his upcoming marriage! Whether this was done with Karens' colusion or not, it still reeks of 'this is for your own good' or 'we know what's best for you' manipulation. Every one of the characters that mentioned 'The Test' are legaly culpable. So, where are the lawsuits?

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
she lied

because in your first chapter, after saying they'll wait till the wedding to have sex,he said its gonna be hard and the last line was her thinking" you have no idea". this was all after the mini fight over that email. not just that, but that party had pretty much everyone woman he slept with in the last several yrs and technically what she did could be considered cheating. i mean come on, getting naked in front of a group of people and coming with a vibrator isnt cheating? anyway, the same people from the party tried to seduce him and from everything you implied, those women would have gone through with it. so basically, he was lied to, manipulated and in a way, embarrassed. i like to see someone else rewrite this but have play out like it would in normal life, not fiction. because lets face it, if this was real then theres no way in hell he would have put up with that and married her. i sure as hell wouldnt. what id do is wait till the wedding and the "test" was over, then tell her "fuck this and fuck you" not the most eloquent of goodbyes, but it gets the job done.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Shocked no "I don't" or "I object"

Having already married one woman that he should not have married, I expected that the groom would have left the bride at the altar, and was shocked that he did not.

Her trust in him was so completely and obviously non-existent that he should have expected that his second marriage would be even more miserable than his first.

After the long, long buildup about his recognition of the (too)many-parted test, I felt that the story just jumped off a cliff at the very end. It was published a while ago, but I would love to see a Chapter 4 that resolves itself in his favor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Yes, I really enjoyed the story.

I was afraid he was not going to hold out. I love happy endings.

TavadelphinTavadelphinalmost 10 years ago
Nice ending -

To a very good read and a fun story -

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Oh HELL NO!

She lied to him repeatedly. The entire time they were going out she never told about who her sisters were, that she had a brother or that her Father was a Senator. She never told him she was friends with a lot of his ex-lovers. Lies by omission are the same as any other lie. I don't see her as a potential mate. I know you like happy endings but this guy was just blind. And if she's anything like her sisters he couldn't trust her farther than he could throw her. No -this story didn't deserve a happy ending. He should have dumped her lying ass.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Lots of unresolved questions

You need to close this with another part. Why did she need to leave after her all girl orgy party at the pool and stay gone all night? Where did she go that night? Did she really go away for a buyer's convention just before her wedding? Why did she not tell her fiance that she came back?

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 9 years ago
Excellent

As the saying goes, "Alls well that ends well." Great little tale. But not too funny.

Hah

tazz317tazz317about 9 years ago
THE TEST...WHERE IF YOU PASS

you get nothing, ;however;??? TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Nope. Couldn't like this one.

She was in this test up to her eyeballs. Did he ever think to ask her WHY she was at that particular bar, on that particular night? She was having him followed. She doesn't trust him. I understand you wanted to write this as a "happily ever after" but the facts just didn't support the words. Too many mistakes. You want us to believe that after sleeping with Connie over a period of months, he wouldn't know Connie's father was a Senator? You want us to believe that as a cop he NEVER would have run Karen through his data base? You want us to believe Karen when she says she'd never lie to him when she lies to him, by omission, every day? She lied to him by not telling him when she was returning and showing up with her brother. The bottom line is that she doesn't trust him, her family doesn't trust him, he doesn't trust himself. He even says that when he's away from Karen that "the temptation is just too great." This guy is a Policeman that has no self control. He can't seem to be alone, always going out with someone. Not a nice or reliable guy. You just didn't do a good job in this one of writing characters I could believe in. Maybe next time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
a total failure

she was just a lying ...cheating conniving bitch and he was too dumb to see her for what she was...she controlled him but let herself go and exposed herself.....need to add a chapter where he discovers just what a cheating bitch she is and he then dumps her and her lying family....a pathetic story...with too many holes in it...one of your failures...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Not just "No". BUT "HELL NO!"

No way he should marry the bitch. He's a cop. No way he keeps it in his pants, long term. No way he can ever give her what she dreams about. Cops make shitty money. She's way too controlling and manipulative. I like many of your stories. This one - not so much. Just an awful ending to let them get married.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Interesting.

It would have been more interesting if Karen had bareback sex as a final fling on the girls night.Then when Mark saw her next, suggest they both got STD tested,saying it would prove he didn't break their agreement and make her wonder.Then when dancing with Connie at the wedding reception tell her he knows about the girls night happenings.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Dump her

She's the B word. She has no trust and the marriage is doomed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
I tried to like this story, but

The game playing wind up just pissing me off. Sorry. Well written, just not entertaining. ***

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Howcome

How come he never met her father before the wedding?.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
But Did Karen Pass The Test?

Interesting story within a story. The only question I have is why is he still planning to married? After telling him about the lack of sex until after the wedding the author has Karen thinking to herself; “You don’t know how rough it’s going to be.” All of the women who try to get Mark to screw them have to be doing it at Karen’s request. The other problem I see is that Karen had ”to go to a buyer’s convention for a few days” but Mark had no way to verify that she was abstaining from sexual meeting with other men during her trip.

Mark is a cop and he should have heard warning bells going off after seeing Karen’s toy party and her actions with her sisters and friends. If he is smart he will keep his camcorder in use while he is away from the woman who said: “I would never lie to you.” Her lawyer sister must have explained the difference between a straight lie and a lie of omission.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
NFW!

Me, I'd of told her, her family, her friends to get lost and take their well being and shove it up their collective asses.

lujon2019lujon2019over 2 years ago

So they were dating for years and he never met her mother until two weeks before the wedding and never spoke to her father until AFTER the wedding?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Maybe, he needs to randomly "test" his in-laws from now on.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Too many holes and inconsistencies in this story

A reluctant 3*

BJ

Rancher46Rancher46over 1 year ago

What a great story. Well written with great characters. 5/5

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I would have gone all the way to the altar then said I don’t. I won’t marry into a family of interfering busybodies.

DG HearDG Hearover 1 year agoAuthor

This was just a fun story. Why do readers get so uptight and aggravated? I haven't read this story for a long time. I enjoyed it. haha

DG Hear

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

A cop driving while inebriated? Surely not?

I really enjoy most of your stories, but I do get annoyed when you write, ‘I seen her,’ rather than ‘I saw her’ or ‘I had seen her’.

You also use the word starred instead of stared.

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Author gotta remember these are differ times than when you first wrote the story people get offended over everything now

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Also though with that said.is she really worth that much trouble from the family

AnonymousAnonymous25 days ago

All he did was moan about how hard it was to resist cheating on Karen and it appeared that mostly he only resisted because he was worried that it was a test, what an asshole.

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I want to thank all the readers who read and comment on my stories. If anyone would have told me 8 yrs ago (now it's 16 yrs ago) I would be writing stories (on an adult web site) I would have laughed at them. Thank you so much for the feedback and comments. It's what keep m...

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