All Comments on 'Mine'

..it was very short. Perhaps you could have added more sex to draw the readers in, but since I know your writing style :) I liked that it wasn't over-sexed.

Besitos,

Flay

Smooth reading. Very much liked the discriptors and narritive.

Could have used dialogue and stronger sense of scene or place.

very well written and easy to read. But I agree, it was too short.

Its very Anne Riceish but there is deffinetly a good basis for a more extended story here.

which ideally need more fleshing out (pardon the pun!) to reach their full potential. Maybe more details/reaction/dialogue during the sex scene would have screwed the tension even more. I think this is a good beginning though....good luck!

but I agree with what the others have said, that it was too short. It could have used more dialogue but what was here was very good.

A tale well told. The plot is a familiar one, perhaps, but the language rich and beautifully wrought. A refreshing read.

well told! It was a really good read. Good Luck~

~Honey

to add! LOL

An enjoyable story, but too short for my taste. You did a very good job though. I liked it.

Good luck in the contest.

Black Tulip

Good story. Excellent discriptive writing but I agree it could have used a bit more dialogue.

Such a clean and neat little story, and very visual. Makes me sorry that it was so short.

You have a lovely imagination, darling. You should set it free and run with it and see where it takes you. We'd be happy to follow you. :)

Tight and well told tale. It brings the reader along for a fast and satisfying ride. Thanks