too far, i knew writing this shit would get to you, you've gone over the edge, edge hell, you've fallen off the damn cliff. thanks, thanks a lot, you've broke our hearts.
But a good story. IF they hang the guy!
This might work in non-erotic horror.
Good one Jack!
edgar allen poe would laugh at your story style.were you reading nevermore lately?
I don't want to say I loved it - because then you might think I identified with the protagonist....LOL
But I am VERY impressed with your story.......you portray insanity VERY well!
Perhaps you should think of a career in writing Horror stories?
It takes quite some concentration to find the madness that hides beneath the thin veneer of societal norms. I like it when someone does it with flare. Great job.
Wish I could articulate how much I enjoyed your story.
I would sign this with my screen name but I'm afraid the crazy crew would punish the author cause I like this.
I can't believe how much story was told with so few words.
I hope you win the contest!
A nonny mouse
The interludes were masterfully woven in...very well done imagery which worked to heighten the tension! Two suggestions: Don't title the sections (let the reader discover naturally what happens next) and toward the end, perhaps "gagged" is a better word than "retched".
Nasty and "sick", just the way they should be told !
The ultimate heaven for revenge fricks...
Me included? No way! or may be>>>Hmmmm
Liked your, Hee Hee, story. Do one again like it next year. It's fun to do something different every now and then.
Great story ... goosebumps are at full attention now. :)
There is something to be said for a good old fashioned slasher story ... Ghosts, werewolves and vampires are scary enough, but we all know they don't really exist. There's something about the actual potential of man-made mayhem that hits closer to home and makes your look over your shoulder. I can hear this story being told around a campfire and see everyone getting freadked out.
I particularly liked the way that you structured the story, interpersing the killer's ramblings into Solange's story. Good luck with the contest ... you definitely should be a contender.
The structure of this adds immensely to the fun and the feel of theatre/cinema. The ending is half horror and half comedy - delightfully indulgent and full-blown. Thanks for an entertaining read.
It worked for me. Little sex. Little graphic gore described. All found in the readers’ heads. Plenty of clues, but not enough for you to give the tale away. Fabulous premise of a Psycho party gone awry you have here. I hesitate to award “5’s” but you nailed this one.
I don't know what it is about this Halloween contest but the stories are always so well written. The difference between yours and the others is your originality. I wish I could give it more than a 5
I liked the concept of the interludes in italics and the gradual increase in tension as the story proceeds.
You let her off too easy! Personally I'd TORCH THE BITCH. Loved it. Beautifully done. TTB
Are we allowed to read this on non- Halloween days (or nights)? I admit, it seems like a the wrong timing, but I just could not wait that long. So Yea, thanks a lot, it was great.
Better than Tony Perkins did it in the movies.
For me Halloween was a fun time. Maybe not so much for my victims. I once wired 16 M80s together and put them in an old man outhouse. He always arrived at the same time. So we waited until I figured he was well into his business then I blew up the outhouse. The results were shocking!!!
Revenge is nice. Especially when it is coated in blood.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Thanks for a very direct and to the point revenge tale. It had great emotion and simplicity.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to Thanks a Lot
orMore submissions by JakeRivers.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Thanks a Lot:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to JakeRivers:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.