All Comments on 'Under a Bruised Sky'

by wildsweetone

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
~

I love the scene you painted here. You might consider rewording the first line. Maybe it is just me, but it comes across as being a stair of the sun-- I think you mean the top stair that is in the sunshine? Just a suggestion. I first kissed my husband on beach steps, not as photoworthy of Lauren's but I woke with bruises and sandy knees so this poem hit me right....there... :)

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleover 18 years ago
nice poem

a jig saw of words that dance thoughts and images in my mind while reading <grin> nice poem

sacksackover 18 years ago
lovable little poem....

refreshing in its innocuous quality!

jthserrajthserraover 18 years ago
Non-Erotic...?

No... those were very erotic images that spoke of a wild abandoment and intensity only mimicked by the bruised sky. Powerful poem.

jim : )

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