All Comments on 'Baby on the Brain'

This theme has been done to death. It was never very plausible and it hasn't gotten any better with age. Please try something new.

(Tail End Pete, Blue88, Ohio, The Wanderer or any of several others) I know the story would be continued with Brian finding out and kicking his cheating slut to the curb. But since the majority of your stories have no consequences, I am sure that Brian will be raising his brother's kid and his wife and brother will be fucking constantly.

So writer apparently this got your rocks off but as sick as a contrived bastard baby is - are you going to have the poor demeaned braindead hubbie spend $300,000 to get him through college? Are you going to have his loving wife whore fuck his brother into 6 more bastard kids?

Gosh this is really getting absurdly sick isn't it.

Well we know you won't further demean the poor loving hubbie will you? That wouldn't be fair or human would it.

Unlike alot of others, I really do like stories where another man is found sexually superior to a woman's husband and takes over sexually. I can understand how that majority are put off by these kind of stories, but it is a nitch to be filled.

Continue only if Hubby is a man and not a wimp. She had a long time with her lover and is trying to pass the baby off as hubbies..... come on get real. If hubby finds out ... then we will have a story

Yes, this has been done to death. You touch upon the same themes in the same way as every other author in this genre. I can't believe that his own brother would betray him like this - well maybe I can: Cain did slay Able. And look at what happened to him. But , it is true that your stories rarely have conseguences of any sort. But this is fiction - or rather fantasy.

Give the reader some thing new and stretch your imagination and writing skills in the process - let the husband have a pair of balls (ineffiecient to child bearing as they may be) and let some folks realize that there is something approaching justice in the world, albeit only sporadically.

Irishdragon's stories really make my blood boil, but in a sorta good way. LOL! I don't even understand myself...

First of all....Jamie seemed to have been transformed into "Jake" a couple of times. Perhaps some plagurization occured in this story presentation?

Secondly.....story needs serious editing on grammar and spelling. What is your formal education level?

Story was overall very erotic, but on the above, perhaps a little proofreading was in order.

And lastly: Perhaps some continuations need to be written here. Is she going to want siblings for her first baby? Is Jamie going to provide the sperm for those siblings and if so, will her hubby accomodate the natural father of his children and his brother to the extent that Jamie can move into their house and maybe even their bedroom to keep her fucked and pregnant?

All sorts of possiblities exist in this story. Please correct some of the above for them? Perhaps you need to read some of my stuff on Preggoman.com or Kristen Archives.com under the authorship of Dr.T, as I, too, have a low sperm count and have used this to a great advantage to acquire women to fuck.

I agree with sherlock40, I would love to see hubby step up and kick his brothers head in and divorce his wifes cheating ass..Let bro take care of his own kid..

i like the fact that the "better man" took charge. let`s hear more

written by not a well thought out story. Heck no Brian will not stay with Bridgette if he finds out the baby is not his. This will only drive a deeper wedge between Brian and Jamie. See what happens when a whoring wife think only of herself. Bridgette will probably want to call it off with Jamie now that he has her knocked up. Jamie will try to blackmail her for sex if she calls it off by telling Brian about the baby that is his.

I can see blackmail, sex and broken marriage vows in the future. You do not need to continue with this story. Similar versions have been done in the past.

Great story!!! Very arousing and able to keep ones inerest. Keep writing!

except this time it's his brother. And like all women she has a perfect way to justify the fact that her greatest desire is not to be a mother but to be the perfect slut.

She'll stay with him and probably leave Brian for the bigger cock.

Since most authors write the same themes over and over again, I have a suspicion about how this will turn out. I don’t care one way or the other. I just wonder why they don’t make an effort to stretch their writing skills.

Even Grisham's plots are changing nowadays. But Hey! you'll always have Don87654.

I loved the story, as I enjoy most of Irishdragon's submissions. Don't let the naysayers get you down! I do recommend, however, that you proofread your stories more. Jaime is supposed to be hating Brian, so from the get-go there should be NO loyalties getting in the way.

Keep up the great work!

That an Irishman(Jamie?) can't keep hs love to himself, and Jamie has too much really bad blood with his brother, and he will soon let everyone know that his impotent brother, who cuckolded him at Prom has been done dirty as well! And the shit will hit the fan. It's not unusual in Irish families for a cheating wife to be half beaten to death! Bad choices for all, and there is no excuse!!

The stupid cheater doesnt know a good thing when she sees it hubby should just divorce her and forget her

You can bet that Brian will sue the hell out of Jamie and the wife for adultry and child support .

Atlanta.Ga

Ok...one second they are fighting and the next he is slamming out for this sudden business trip for a month?! Geeh if his work called for this, it was no wonder they didn't have a baby. He leaves and she just calls the brother even without thinking on it for a night. Wow! Big decision to make on a dime. Loooooooong paragraphs, confused sentances, and bad grammar. This is a waste of time.

This story wins the prize for the longest paragraphs in the history of Literotica. Crap, why did the writer bother with new paragraphs at all?

For me, that kind of writing is just unreadable, so I guess I blew it off once I got deeply into one of the intermindable paragraphs.

Irishdragon: resubmit the story, and this time make it readable on a computer monitor. You'll feel better for it, I assure you.

Looking forward to Second Posting. Thanks

This story needs continued with her begging pregnant from Brian and then fucking more to create siblings for this first baby. Story could be made into a novel.

She needs to leave Brian and get together properly with Jamie...

What a lucky baby to have that for a mother, only a story i think not it happen every day.SICK

It cracks me up any time I see Don praising a story as being NATURAL and asks for more of the same. It's because I know what natural means for him: it's simply a short hand for cheating plus a future birth of a bastard. Perhaps he means natural as in the lives of the birds for which 'cuckolding' is indeed the call of nature...<P>

For the rest of us humans this is another formulaic story of mindless cheating.

this story is amazing please write more its the best story I have read so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please write more!!!

where the husband isn't some unknown cuckold, or a pussy ass wimp that loves someone else kid after he finds out it's not his....damn you guys would burn the husband at the stake if he fucked some chick and had a kid. But when a woman does it wow, she is justified.

I read this story this morning and gave it a 2 but that was because it was not finnished. The story has manny avenues now not telling the husband and letting him raise the babby but we know a slut like this will not be complete with just one bastard child. If she come clen right away, off to the DIVORCE. Then there is the extended family in the fight, Mom Dad etc... After the divorce will she marry the brother or will blood be thiker than water and both brothers drop her slutty ass out on the road with her bastard child..Realy hoping to read an ending..

Why have all these fucked cuckold gay authors post this garbage to this site?

he gobbled the meaty cock, guzzled the soupy jizz, betrayed!

when all the cards are dealt, who will be the joker. TK U MLJ LV NV

Utter GARBAGE!!!! Learn to break up your paragraphs is you must keep posting this shit.

She's a slut that cheats on her husband, the brother is a scum bag. I think this needs another chapter where Brian figures out the the betrayal, puts a wicked beating on Jamie maybe crippling him and throws his slut wife to the curb.

Thanks for the effort.

The idea for the story is great, I loved the beginning. But it soonb ecame clear, that you're rather weak when it comss to the technical quality of your writing. Mega paragraphes, especially with dialogue mixed in, are a big NO-NO and I've not even mentioned the mistakes yet.

In total, good idea but a bad execution.

Fucking cunt. She cheated with her brother-in-law, a fucking prick himself. Now to re-read the sequel.

why the brothers disliked each other so much

and why she was willing to destroy two families

1* for this hard to read unfinished piece of garbage. Every time a new person speaks its a new paragraph!

If you don't know how to write and basic rules of the writers road...maybe you better keep your car to home!

Every time the subject changes, or someone else starts talking, new paragraph!

No miles-long paragraphs, or long, run-on sentences!

Liked the story line well enough, and will enjoy seeing what you do with the rest of this story, how it ends.

I will be very pissed, if Brian doesn't find out and make that cheating slut pay, dearly! Cause her some serious pain! If she hadn't had "baby on the brain" and set all this cheating into motion, then spread her legs for his younger brother...This whole cheating situation, is on her, first!

Though, worthless pile of shit, younger brother... needs to learn a lesson he will never forget, as well!

No doubt about it, this whoring slut cheating bitch, deserves to burn! Since this is creative writing, you can make that happen, too!

Just, for all us readers, learn some basic rules for writers, before you begin writing-out the second chapter or ending, and at least turn-on your spelling and grammar check, won't you PLEASE?

Thank you!

The story ide was quite good but you certainly know how to fuck things up. Why do you keep up with all the crap. You never seem to pay attention to the comments.

GET AN EDITOR, FOR HEAVEN SAKES!

You make so manny mistakes it's beyond a joke. One is where Jamie becomes Jake. That is a really stupid mistake

I don't care if you get a editor or not, or a proof reader. At least finish the damn story. If you cant finish stories then don't friggin write anything. So far this story is amoung the few good stories but with out a finish it SUCKS. I'm not even going to give a rating at all.

You need to break up the paragraphs.

@DebbieX, you may want to edit your own comments before you criticize others.

until jamie tires of her... But Brian never enters the story again, He lucked out

why didn't she just inject herself with her brother in laws sperm? Why go get a test done. Just squirt it and hope for the best/or worst - setting aside the insanity and wrongness of doing it in the first place.

Having said all that, she's too stupid to merge dna with. Moving on.

...grammar is key:

YOU'RE/YOUR

HOPED/HOPPED

NO ENDING!!!

Now, when Brian finds out, he will kill Jaimie and leave Bridgit to the tender mercy of both families. Burn the bitch.

It’s a story about the three stooges/turds. So why didn’t she just inject the first sample. Boring.

Shorten your paragraphs. It makes the story easier to read. When another character speaks put it on a new line.

Hope Brian finds out and divorces the bitch

I love the story.... but learn how to use paragraphs! These huge blocks of text exhaust a reader and work against your excellent story!

Boring.

Brian actually started it when he fucked Jamie's prom date. He did Bridget a favor by making her a woman with his big RICHARD, and putting his love juice in that thing below her belly-button she pees out of. She should divorce Brian and marry her true husband- her baby's father and have 4-5 more kids...

I hate being left without knowing the outcome👿👿👿

Excellent solution

Ending, where is it?

BS. if MC goes on trip and comes back and is told shortly thereafter that against all odd the crazy slut is preggers, he better be smart and get dna test asap. dont wanna raise no kid w/o his dna, bro dna will be close but not same and not his. sad little story. rk

*You’re.

Whore just wanted to try different sausage.

What a useless fucking whore I hope her husband finds out and divorces the fucking bitch.

Nice story, it's true to this site, characters the normal slut and Chuck with a nasty man, ( in this case a brother) all rolled into this.