...had some erotic merit, your writing mechanics really need some work.
Some of your sentences switched tenses from past to present. There are some guides available on the site to help novice writers, my advice to you is to read some of them.
Read other author's work, and then look at yours. Try to understand where you are strong, and where you are weak. Do more work on your proofreading, and editing.
Most importantly, keep writing, I have found that the more I write the better I get...(well I hope I am getting better).
Good luck
by
Anonymous05/10/09
AweSome.
Well, Yes: The mechanics of Ur writing DO have some issues. Could U NOT come up with NE other terms 4 Breasts than 'Tits' & 'Knockers'? How about 'Flesh-
Balloons' 4 example? 'Sweater-Puppies' is ALSO a good term. I mean really, there R so MANY terms 4 em, that it was sirt of sad 2 see U using those 2 over-used terms 4 em, M8! OTHERWISE the story made me cum enormously! I've been a breast enthusiast since watching Velma on Scooby-Doo as a kid. Sorry 2 ber8 Ur style, but seriously: Learn some new words 4 boobs, OK! :-)
by
Anonymous11/08/10
lol
That 'AweSome' comment made me laugh.
Anyway, your usage of grammar does need a lot of work, although it doesn't really distract the reader from the actual story. Also, the process in which the sexual act takes place is written too similarly with some of your other big-tit stories.
Speaking of which, you really have a thing for oversized breasts, don't you?
English
Repetative
I see we didn't have to break the ol' thesarus out on this one. Next time, try to use a wider vocab.
While the premise...
...had some erotic merit, your writing mechanics really need some work.
Some of your sentences switched tenses from past to present. There are some guides available on the site to help novice writers, my advice to you is to read some of them.
Read other author's work, and then look at yours. Try to understand where you are strong, and where you are weak. Do more work on your proofreading, and editing.
Most importantly, keep writing, I have found that the more I write the better I get...(well I hope I am getting better).
Good luck
AweSome.
Well, Yes: The mechanics of Ur writing DO have some issues. Could U NOT come up with NE other terms 4 Breasts than 'Tits' & 'Knockers'? How about 'Flesh-
Balloons' 4 example? 'Sweater-Puppies' is ALSO a good term. I mean really, there R so MANY terms 4 em, that it was sirt of sad 2 see U using those 2 over-used terms 4 em, M8! OTHERWISE the story made me cum enormously! I've been a breast enthusiast since watching Velma on Scooby-Doo as a kid. Sorry 2 ber8 Ur style, but seriously: Learn some new words 4 boobs, OK! :-)
lol
That 'AweSome' comment made me laugh.
Anyway, your usage of grammar does need a lot of work, although it doesn't really distract the reader from the actual story. Also, the process in which the sexual act takes place is written too similarly with some of your other big-tit stories.
Speaking of which, you really have a thing for oversized breasts, don't you?
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