by bartok_star
I am looking forward to reading your next chapter.Keep up the good work.
I really loved your story. You seem to have a knack for erotica. Cant wait for your next submission. Great Job!!
I read this group of stories before, and I love the new addition. It was good to read that they had more experience alone before the parents came into the picture. Really great story, keep it up.
This is one nasty pair of siblings. No guilt, no second guessing, no damn doubt at all. One day she loses her cherry, the next day she gets corn-holed in the shower. This story LEAPS from one depraved act to another. HOT!
nicely done... i only got through four before i had to cum... ill be back to read the rest later no doubt!!
I DON'T LIKE anal; I usually quit as soon as it starts. I don't know what it was, maybe the fact that she initiated it and seemed to be really up for it, enjoying the experiment. Anyway, the whole story is really good. Keep it up.
Wow...usually, I hear/think/see anal and...I lose my buzz. First story EVER where this happened...and I finished.
One of the best threads I have EVER read
I really enjoyed this installment. I have read the other series that you did - Pure Heart - and this series is even better. You are very articulate, an awesome story teller, and an all around great writer. I really appreciate that as there are a few authors that post here that don't spell well, or their punctuation isn't good, or they use the wrong form of their/there or to/two/too. You write well with very few errors per installment. Keep up the good work.
I love how the siblings have such respect for each other, not like the normal siblings of these stories. Great idea for the story!
..the story line and the flow of story was much better here with Jen ( sister) wanting to feel her brothers dick in her ass and all this with deep love and affection too.
Your writing is quite a bit better than most of the writers in this, erm... genre... if you want to call it that. You should consider writing something a bit more meaningful.
Also, if a girl asks you "Do you want to give me anal sex?" Then any sane high school guy would not reply "Oh my gosh, yes." But instead "Fuck Yeah!"
trying to type w/one hand,,,,,,,,very erotic,,,i like how these 2 really love and respect and enjoy each others company,,the exploring,and awakening of passion,,,
I mean it was GOOD torture in how you almost assuredly established that Anal WAS gonna happen. Yet you didn't rush it like some other Writers might have just to get to the Wham! Anal entry has been achieved. Instead, you masterfully, and meticulously incorporated all the extreme possible detail needed to bring the HEAT to maximum level and torture us until we couldn't take it any longer. THEN you finally had Jen outright give the official green light for Mark to do it. Talk about excited! Fuck! I was sweating, throbbing and trembling over here when I knew it was finally gonna happen ... Cute Hot Jen was finally gonna get it in her Rear Treasure!
FIVE STARS! An Anal Classic! YES!
my only complain about your story so far is that it moved to butt sex too fast , I mean you guys had not even have proper sex and she is already begging for butt sex? I guess it could happen but I was expecting a little more build up before such intimate act I guess , I mean after all she is your sister and she was a virgin just a night ago...
But good story so far , will read the rest.
I'm not big on political correctness, but this is one area (not just for incest, but in general) that it is important that SHE initiates expanding the boundaries. Mark is a true gentleman is not pushing Jen to do more than she wants, but is willing (OK, eager) to accommodate her requests. I am writing this in Fall 2013, following the summer when discussion of 'Rape Culture' was rampant. Seeing that that this was written 8 years ago is a pleasant surprise.
You do well in building the anticipation and are one of the few authors who seems to have a mastery of Standard American English. If you used "it's" rather than "its" (or some similar mistake) it's infrequent enough that it doesn't intrude in reading the story.
When a good story "goes anal" far too soon (or at all in some cases) I will typically cut my losses and move on as some others have mentioned; yet, here I will keep on giving this bathroom tale a chance. You were doing such a good job of balancing on that thin edge of suspension of disbelief which is critical to making these erotic taboo fantasy stories work then, having your lovers get into butt sex when they haven't even had a first kiss or a proper session of "normal" intercourse yet, is just too far fetched.
It's your fantasy world so you drive this where you need to go. I will follow at a distance. For now.
Loved the story so far, but couldn't help but notice two incoherences. One, they got big rooms, extra bathroom, a well-furbished gym in the basement, and yet in chapter 1 it said they were tight on money? That doesn't add up. Two, they just had sex for the first time - there's even a mention of her hymen ripping... -, and they directly move to anal? That's kind of hard to believe.
But yeah, still enjoyable. Could be better, though.
my only problem is that he was rubbing his dick against her pussy and his balls were doing it also. so unless he or she is upside down, that is impossible
Like the other comment stated, I don't think they'd be butt fucking the second time they really had sex. I know Jen wants a lot more of her brothers cock in her pussy, and often. Her desires have taken over, and she wants some good, hard, fucking! Anal may come along down the road, but what's the rush. Her pussy must be so tight, why would you even want anything else right now? I'd be fucking Jen's pussy in so many different positions, with my hands all over her sexy body, until we were to sore to fuck, then we'd fuck some more!
The average ejaculation for ALL MEN is about a teaspoon. There are RARE instances of more, but still less than a table spoon.
Yes, I know you've seen tons of porn that show a guy cumming over and over and over. It's FAKE. It's IMPOSSIBLE.
Even on Literotica you should make an attempt to keep your stories believable.
Wow, I loved the anal! That was the hottest thing in this entire series yet! She absolutely seemed to love her brothers dick in her ass!
Great storyππππ. This was insanely hot . I loved the anal! That was the hottest thing in this entire series yet! She absolutely seemed to love her brothers dick in her ass.
Unlike the comment(s) from other readers, I am closely invested in following this story...anal or no anal...
I like the way the storyline is developing; the author lets things progress just the way they should...naturally, yet with that bit of spontaneity that is moving the story along so well. There is still more to be enjoyed, with other chapters to be read...looking forward to them!!
Bartok_Star...do not be discouraged by the comments about this series...you are "on-the-mark" with the writing...keep it up, please!!??
Meh...this lacked the brother/sister interaction of the other chapters with the exception of the race from exercise room to the shower. It's also disappointing that they are acting more like horny teenaged fuck buddies instead of their intimacy drawing them closer together and making them fall in love. I have to drop this one down to 3/5.