All Comments on 'Star of David'

by Selena_Kitt

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  • 17 Comments
sacksackover 18 years ago
short and simply beautiful....

and a nice foil to your two other magnificent contest entries.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Whether you write something scary and

startling or something as beautiful and sad as this short piece was, you always manage to do it in style. Beautiful job and so lovingly warm. Good luck in the contest.

impressiveimpressiveover 18 years ago
Very well done.

You've taken a subject easily made sappy and cliche ... and done it justice. Happy Holidays & good luck in the contest! ~Imp

Aurora BlackAurora Blackover 18 years ago
Beautiful & Moving

Selena, you've done it again. Very sensual for a one-pager, and also a tear jerker. Good luck in the contest.

gotwood49gotwood49over 18 years ago
Wow...

I'm almost speechless. You may be my new favorite author, Selena. A story this moving and this hypnotic shouldn't be on Lit...I should have been reading it in a collection of famous author's works. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Who did you see?

If you saw who you thought you saw He would coming to take his wrath on the aduterous sinners!!??

old version: "My eyes have seen the coming of the glory of the Lo-rd...."

new version: "My eyes have seen the glory in the cumming,

oh my Lo-rd...

Blue88Blue88over 18 years ago
Beautiful, but....

This was beautifully written and very moving, but I had a bit of a problem with this story. Their union seemed almost spiritual, but underlying it was her infidelity, her adultery. She wanted it all - she wanted to keep a husband and family and she also wanted the sexual excitement of a lover far from home. There is a dichotomy here that is bothersome and which weakens the bond she feels for her David. I think that the story would have been elevated to a higher level without the burden of infidelity.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Romantic and Loving

I found this piece moving, loving, and very romantic. But not erotic. It didn't arouse me.

I felt the love between the two people, I felt their sadness and their pain and I believe you are an excellent author.

But I don't think this piece is sexy enough to be considered erotica.

Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskinover 18 years ago
Well written and imaginative

It's hard to imagine a better job of dealing with love, sex, and faith in so short a piece. Congratulations and good luck in the contest.

Rumple

cloudycloudyover 18 years ago
poignant

but it left me wanting a happy ending for them. Nice work.

don87654don87654over 18 years ago
Very erotic and natural

The mating of two bodies is oneness with God, the orgasm is God's pleasure given to you, and the impregnation is creating one of God's creatures in you to come from your fertility.

sherlock40sherlock40over 18 years ago
Since she obviously doesn't love her husband,

why doesn't she divorce him and move in with the guy that "let's her see god?" Then she can nurse the guy while he suffers through years of pain and hurt from cancer. Maybe that would let her see god more often.

Since this is a fantasy story, I will finish it in my head. The husband, realizing that his wife has been cheating now for several years, divorces her. Her children, upon hearing what she has done to their dad, refuse to speak to her ever again. She moves into her lover's apartment, but discovers that he cannot be faithful to her anymore than she could remain faithful to her now ex-husband. They go from seeing god, to seeing angels, to seeing saints, to seeing other people in a very short while.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Verging on blasphemy

... and adultery is not godly.

Poor taste.

Stan

davidwattsdavidwattsover 18 years ago
When I saw Stan's seal of disapproval

in the comments section, I had to read it. If he hates it, it has to be good. His record stays unblemished. Nice piece of writing Selena.

MnRiderMnRiderover 18 years ago
Well...

...you did manage to bring tears to my eyes. I remember my wife and I stuggling with her faith as cancer took her life. I don't believe God took her as much as science failed.

Thank you for writing the story.

Boxlicker101Boxlicker101over 18 years ago
Moving

but not terribly erotic and I doubt that it belongs in this category. LW or EC maybe.

Marklynda2Marklynda2about 1 year ago

Very deep. Can true love transcend this world? Maybe.

A very interesting story. Well thought out and written. I look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Anonymous
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