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Star of David

bySelena_Kitt©
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Comments (16)
by Anonymous

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by sack12/06/05

short and simply beautiful....

and a nice foil to your two other magnificent contest entries.

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by 12/06/05

Whether you write something scary and

startling or something as beautiful and sad as this short piece was, you always manage to do it in style. Beautiful job and so lovingly warm. Good luck in the contest.

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by impressive12/06/05

Very well done.

You've taken a subject easily made sappy and cliche ... and done it justice. Happy Holidays & good luck in the contest! ~Imp

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by Aurora Black12/06/05

Beautiful & Moving

Selena, you've done it again. Very sensual for a one-pager, and also a tear jerker. Good luck in the contest.

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by gotwood4912/06/05

Wow...

I'm almost speechless. You may be my new favorite author, Selena. A story this moving and this hypnotic shouldn't be on Lit...I should have been reading it in a collection of famous author's works. Thank you.

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by Anonymous12/06/05

Who did you see?

If you saw who you thought you saw He would coming to take his wrath on the aduterous sinners!!??

old version: "My eyes have seen the coming of the glory of the Lo-rd...."

new version: "My eyes have seen the glory in the cumming,
oh my Lo-rd...

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by Blue8812/06/05

Beautiful, but....

This was beautifully written and very moving, but I had a bit of a problem with this story. Their union seemed almost spiritual, but underlying it was her infidelity, her adultery. She wanted it all - she wanted to keep a husband and family and she also wanted the sexual excitement of a lover far from home. There is a dichotomy here that is bothersome and which weakens the bond she feels for her David. I think that the story would have been elevated to a higher level without the burden of infidelity.

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by Anonymous12/07/05

Romantic and Loving

I found this piece moving, loving, and very romantic. But not erotic. It didn't arouse me.

I felt the love between the two people, I felt their sadness and their pain and I believe you are an excellent author.

But I don't think this piece is sexy enough to be considered erotica.

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by Rumple Foreskin12/07/05

Well written and imaginative

It's hard to imagine a better job of dealing with love, sex, and faith in so short a piece. Congratulations and good luck in the contest.

Rumple

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by cloudy12/09/05

poignant

but it left me wanting a happy ending for them. Nice work.

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by don8765412/09/05

Very erotic and natural

The mating of two bodies is oneness with God, the orgasm is God's pleasure given to you, and the impregnation is creating one of God's creatures in you to come from your fertility.

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by sherlock4012/09/05

Since she obviously doesn't love her husband,

why doesn't she divorce him and move in with the guy that "let's her see god?" Then she can nurse the guy while he suffers through years of pain and hurt from cancer. Maybe that would let her see god more often.
Since this is a fantasy story, I will finish it in my head. The husband, realizing that his wife has been cheating now for several years, divorces her. Her children, upon hearing what she has done to their dad, refuse to speak to her ever again. She moves into her lover's apartment, but discovers that he cannot be faithful to her anymore than she could remain faithful to her now ex-husband. They go from seeing god, to seeing angels, to seeing saints, to seeing other people in a very short while.

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by Anonymous12/09/05

Verging on blasphemy

... and adultery is not godly.
Poor taste.
Stan

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by davidwatts12/10/05

When I saw Stan's seal of disapproval

in the comments section, I had to read it. If he hates it, it has to be good. His record stays unblemished. Nice piece of writing Selena.

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by MnRider12/10/05

Well...

...you did manage to bring tears to my eyes. I remember my wife and I stuggling with her faith as cancer took her life. I don't believe God took her as much as science failed.
Thank you for writing the story.

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by Boxlicker10112/13/05

Moving

but not terribly erotic and I doubt that it belongs in this category. LW or EC maybe.

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