homeLesbian SexKelly & Haley's Summer Ch. 01Public Comments

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Kelly & Haley's Summer Ch. 01

byJairzinho©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/29/05

Nice, but...

It'd benefit from a good copy editor - why does it change from third to first person narration half way through, for example?

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by Anonymous09/25/09

Poor quality!

Wow, this is rough! The spelling was awful! What a waste of space.

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by Anonymous10/06/12

Great plot, but writing needs work

For one thing, you CANNOT change from third person to first person halfway through a story.

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