by Baxter72
You should have added "Chapter 1" to the title.
At least the reader would have been prepared for the quick, terrible ending.
It started off as a great story, but the ending was a disapointment, unless of course, you intend to contine.
Very erotic situation, good build up of tension - and the whole action in one sentence. What a waste !
What's the hurry? Slow down and give us details.
I don't think you even have the concept of eroticism. I recently read a technical review of a digital camera - it turned me on more.
I don't normally comment, but I thought your writing was good. I don't have time to read a lot, but I thoroughly enjoy the "wham bam, thank you mam" approach. I get off every time! Most of all, I enjoy that almost all your stories have the older man/younger woman theme. Almost all have the male in a superior position too. I love it!! Keep writing!!
Really? He fucks her at the end and the description of fucking is exactly one sentence. You had a pretty good story, finish it right next time.