All Comments on 'Kodochrome and Phone Bills'

I submitted a few days ago and already made changes :)

I do not see myself

in the panoramic stretch of your day

no ticket stub fortune teller

torn reciept

no colored pebbles from the creek

The stone sculptures do not resemble my structure

lady feathers balance lightly among your leaves

We do not balance lightly

I want my fingerprints on your mahogany

paperweights fall heavy under our disturbance

manuscript and utility bills flutter

slow motion around bare toes

You tell me you see me everywhere

How do you see me there

Palm pressed on polished wood

hips bruised by sharp corners

and hard-edged heaviness

softness parted and waiting intrusion

She calls to you

she needs something at the store

she needs something picked up off the floor

you owe her you owe her

all the best years

God how you pound

these words into my flesh

press my face into it

over and again

you feed me your curse

until cleansed and ready

to answer her call

and you must go to her

you must

~as

Felt too much like homework, reading this and the edited version side by side on my screen - especially so since this is so well written. You make me think and on a Saturday that is almost a sin.

Kodak and Paul Simon spell it Kodachrome, but it appears that the international usage has it as Kodochrome; I do so enjoy learning something new every day.

I like the changes you make with the edited version, with the exception of, "The stone sculptures do not resemble my structure." Changing one word makes it sound better, in my very subjective feeling, to, "Your stone sculptures do not resemble my structure."

As for the typo, I'm sure you've already caught it.

Enjoyed the language and the imagery. Still you talk circles around this bayou boy.

sorry about making it feel like homework, I just figured I would keep it all in one place... thanks Leon and Neo for the comments :)

Another powerful write. I loved the last stanza, what a knockout! the lines 'God how you pound these words into me

press my face into it

over and again

you feed me your curse' just knocked me out

great reading as usual

I enjoy the language and imagery as noted in another comment but as a whole find this poem rather difficult. There appears to me to be significant clarity and insight but also passages that I find almost opaque.I remember having a similar reaction to another work of yours ("Eelskin Bound??) .Think I'll come back to this one again tomorrow.

as always, has moments, wonderful lines. story ending a little expected

If I were to pick my favorite lines form the poem, they would be every line and the title.

Frustration screamed from it at the end, palpable but muffled like a kettle taken off the burner. Wow! This gave me goosebumps.