Pretty darn good. I can feel it in this one. It=pain, insanity, whatever.
Hey, great lines here:
f emotion was a gun
I'd use it on you
THIS is how you depict emotional pain. I really felt the hurt here.
this is exactly how to poeticize emotional pain. This is my favorite part--
if emotion was a gun
I'd use it on you
I have a Glock, loaded with HOW could you's???? I fire it often, but it never hits the target. I hope yours does.
intense emotions here. "pull my heart like a pistol
fire a cold one into your guts
put you out of my misery..."
those words pulled up MY guts! WOW!!
Great images, there is no doubt about how the intensity of the pain. I agree with everyone about the 'if emotions were a gun' line and I also really like:
'if blood were truth
we'd all fucking be Socrates'
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