All Comments on 'i lie awake'

Pretty darn good. I can feel it in this one. It=pain, insanity, whatever.

Hey, great lines here:

f emotion was a gun

I'd use it on you

without hesitation

THIS is how you depict emotional pain. I really felt the hurt here.

Tess

this is exactly how to poeticize emotional pain. This is my favorite part--

if emotion was a gun

I'd use it on you

without hesitation

I have a Glock, loaded with HOW could you's???? I fire it often, but it never hits the target. I hope yours does.

~~ maria

intense emotions here. "pull my heart like a pistol

fire a cold one into your guts

put you out of my misery..."

those words pulled up MY guts! WOW!!

Great images, there is no doubt about how the intensity of the pain. I agree with everyone about the 'if emotions were a gun' line and I also really like:

'if blood were truth

we'd all fucking be Socrates'