by Danolikes
I liked your story, but primarily because of its stretching the bounds of reality. I haven't been in to any women's dressing rooms, but I wouldn't think that they are as spacious as this one. A quibble? Perhaps.
Your problems with verb tenses. Shifting from present tense to past, sometimes to progressive, all in one sentence. It's all over the place, and it interferes with the flow of the story.
Who am I to complain? Dano, you've been on here for years. If you are comfortable with this 'style', hang with it. But it doesn't appeal to me.
great story. I never noticed the problem with the verbs because i was too busy enjoying every other detail going on. I loved reading the story while taking a break at work and I don't think I made it half way before I had "take care of some business." So Bravo. I am looking forward to reading more of you past stories.
friscoflyer@yahoo.com.
PS I work in a retail store and I particularly enjoy your kind of story of people doing erotic things in public. The bi dimension you bring also adds to the thrill. good going!