All Comments on 'Brenda and David'

one of your better efforts

Damn! I didn't think that through.

Nice job, Bob! Good story.

DJ

This guy really did the right thing. Great ending too.Keep up the good work.

your self as writer of beleivable enjoyable stories

now here's a husband that truely knows the meaning of

" don't get mad, get even !!

lol

don

I liked this story; the sex is a rather small part of the over-all story, which is about, err, could we borrow one of the Russian greats' line, "Crime and Punishment"?? LOL

"I'm a patient man," the husband said. This guy is positively evil, but since he thinks he is pushed into that role by an even more evil person, someone he had previously trusted with his own life, his love!, he tells us, almost soothly, that it is okay,,, that he has no intention of doing physically violent things to either of those love birds but that he will exact very painful revenge.

"I will leave her penniless," he said.

Good start. Don't disappoint me! lol

...I either vote zero or a hundred.

Nice one JPB ,please let us all know how it works out.To quote Hannibal Smith 'I love it when a plan works.

I like the old adage "I don't get mad, I get even."

It would be hard for me to fuck the cheating bitch waiting for David to get out of jail. A better scenario would have been that some old boy with HIV had tapped old David's brown growler in the pen and gave him HIV+. Then he could have passed it on to Susie after he got out. As David started seeing Susan again, I would have conveniently quit fucking her. The day she was diagnosed as being HIV+, the insurance ran out because I had let her policy lapse.

FC

I enjoyed but want the "Brenda penniless" and ruined end. Thanks for these words but please add part 2.

Of course, I loved the just desserts meted out to David however, Brenda would have to be a very dumb person to not put two and two together. When they go to court all that evidence on the adultery will be totally discounted because he had sex with her over a year after her affair ended. If they divorce for other reasons then she gets 50% of the assets no matter how he tries to hide them.

Alt Ending: Husband lies low for 1 year and let them get together where he catches them (She is served divorce papers and David is arrested on a 3 strikes you are out law violation).

This definitely one of your best stories. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

I meant Brenda when I wrote Susan.

FC

I have read all your stories and this one is one of the best. I find that you hardly ever finish a story and seem to leave the final ending up to the reader but this story could continue and I feel only you can do it justice. SleeplessinMD's point about the way a divorce would go should be considered if you do continue the story. I would truely like to read how he finishes his revenge and how he shows her fall from grace to family and friends.

Keep bringing great work. Your one of the best here.

Bob,

You amaze me. Some of your stories I hate and some I love. This one's a winner. Hope you do an ending for when she gets to divorce papers.

Well done, JPB. Concise, clear, and quite realistic.

Pathetic. Even for you. Go back to sleep. Your sick friends will say that it was a great read. Bullshit. They are wrong and are just sick motherfuckers. Like you.

A very good story bob.

This is a great beginning but it does need an ending, Keep up the great stories

In your world, is a husband who divorces his cheating wife a bigger fantasy than the one that licks other men's sperm from her hole? I wonder which kind of story gets the better votes?

Another story in the plus column I believe. Thank you.

Very well written story, ecxcept for one omission. You fail to answer the question asked at the beginning, WHY? Why did she do it? Was it some lack or action of his?

AyWun

For the life of me, I can.t see why you even consider some or the whimp cream pie stories you write. wish you wouild lable them better, so I can skip them. This one does need an ending with the bitch really suffering. An all too late wake up call,or something.

Now you have to finish this one for us... Please! I always like the stories, where the victim can think rationally in such an emotional situation.

I love to read the comments as much as the stories. I see Anonymous in USofA is still at his/her...it's?, pathetic attempts to get attention. Anonymous has been very prolific lately, and I have laughed my ass off at his/her, "Please notice me...Someone acknowledge my lonely existence", type of cry for recognition. So, Anon, you have hereby been acknowledged today. Keep swearing...voting zero's and someone of us will mention you and the rest of us will keep laughing our posterior's off. (thanks for the entertainment Anon)

Thanks for the tale JPB

Gus

IF THIS STORY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD ASS KICKING, AND IF SHE HAD TO SUFFER MORE IT WOULD BE PERFECT.

Well written, but... Especially in a short story the first sentence and/or paragraph should grab you—in other words--the hook. Your FIRST sentence says that when a spouse is unfaithful the strike is intellectual (ego), and then it goes to rage with insults (unfaithful whore, motherfucker). But what about sadness and pain? I didn’t get the hero’s full emotions. If there is still love (and there should be because love is not like a tap, you can turn on and off), those would be the first feelings to appear.

The first thing that struck me about this “Loving Wife” is that her husband is hurt, and while the poor pan drives himself to a clinic, she remains playing in the pool. Right...A loving wife? I don’t think so. Usually, I can buy your characters. With these ones, I didn’t. It was only another “revenge” story.

I love the revenge type stories, but I can’t help wondering if your heart is really in it, or are you trying to be responsive (commendable as it may be) to readers’ requests. The story is ok, but it feels like you ‘going through the motions’. In you typical “crème pie” stories (don’t misread it as an invitation to go back to that genre) you are inventive with your plots and characters, moreover, you have full contact with the cheating wife in the role of the humiliated husband. Not so here! I find it very telling that you take the revenge on the LOVER, yet the climactic element of this type of story – i.e. the confrontation and revenge on the wife, is left OUT OF IT. Makes you wonder: maybe you should practice more revenge stories to get ‘the hang of it’, or maybe you are not really “into it”.

Your stories are normally very erotic. But this one clearly sucks. At least you could have had Brenda getting pregnant by you.....

Good story so far. Interested in reading future chapters. Hope you submit them.

The wife had it coming she tried to fuck the money out of her husband but he turned the tables on her and her lover.

Pat M.

Atlanta,Ga.

Great story, JPB.

I really enjoy a patient spouse. When you get even, really get even, don't just get revenge.

BlBones

read like 2yr.old wrote this story.

In answer to your question as to whether a 2-yr old wrote this story...the answer is YES!

Cheers!

ENJOYED STORY BUT WONDERED WHY YOU WERE OVERLY DECENT TO BRENDA , she had been fucking that bum 3 to 4 times a week, she deserved to get raped financially. thought you handled him fine but not cheating wife

The plot is good, but not erotic enough and the story is too short as if rushing for the finishing line.

Short, sweet, and well written. They don't all have to be 30k or longer and have one after another paragraph of graphic sex. Bravo. Dockwatcher

david's locked up and she's left with unanswered questions. a recording system to capture her words would be interesting, maybe even help the planning.

she is just waiting for what will happen when HE causes, and her anxiety is up. her confession, i doubt it. i like the end her may have planned for her

can watch his wife have sex for 1 1/2 hours with another man and not loose his cool. This particular scene is used in many stories here. The husband then sneaks out of the house to gather evidence to proof his wives infidelity. Huh...

Since he is enjoying the extra good sex that his wife's infidelity created, maybe he should be sending the guy a thank you note. Most of your stories are good entertainment including this one.

He should ask her mother and dad if they are sluts like their daughter and if they fuck anyone they can like she does. His wife probably has been fucking around on him for the length of their marriage, and the one he caught her with is just the tip of the iceberg. Just kick the nasty whore out and get on with his life.

Final chapter. Her time on the dance floor and alone at the pool with him in Vale was certainly enough time and an atmosphere for him to seduce her, get her ripe and interested in cheating. Probably got her hornier than hell and with no opportunity, they connected back home. Still, if she hadn't cheated in all those years, why all of a sudden when hubby treats her right and they have plenty of sex? Something possibly missing here.

Anyway, lets have the next chapter showing her on the Internet shopping cheating wives, etc., confiding with a girlfriend, using her dildo and calling out her lovers name and then...end it with him taking her for a weeklong vacation (excuse) his/hers bags packed, doesn't tell her where they are going, she is excited, happy and then bewildered, confused and panicky as he arrives at the prison gates, walks her over to the gate, introduces her to a friend (process server), and as the lover walks out the gate (surprised - smiles at her) the process server hands the divorce papers to her along with a restraining order preventing her from ever calling hubby at home or work and not allowing her to be within 500 feet of her former residence. Hubby has all the internet files, temp, E-Mail, videos and phone taps. He really loved her, will miss her badly but not her wanton disrespect for him or the marriage!

Hubby and the process server leave the two lovers standing in the parking lot, him too damn young to know what to do or go and her, nervously crying, shaking, convulsing from anguish, nerves and ultimately collapsing on the ground...all of her strength and stamina drained from shock.

Bob, you write ok, but you have absolutely NO understanding of basic human psychology... so your stories SUCK! stop wasting time. Don't you ever read the feedback... people don't want unrealistic scenarios... it is as silly as telling us that the wife had purple skin and the husband was 17 feet tall... it doesn't fly, it makes the story boring, and NO ONE likes it.

Put several grains of sugar in a half cup of gasoline and let is sit for a day and they will not disolve. I know because I tried it. Therefore, putting sugar in a gas tank would not harm the engine unless the sugar could be sucked into the combustion chamber and gravity and the filter would prevent that.

Put enough sugar and the gas tank would have to be cleaned but so would enough water or enough dirt and both are cheaper.

With computers, a quick inventory check would show the merchandise was not missing and likely there would be videos. Therefore, it is very doubtful that he would be fired. Therefore, David ends up with a gift valued at several hundred dollars.

JPB is correct by implying that the police have low IQs. However, they are not totally stupid. The police reports of the slashed tires and sugar in the gas tank that had to be cleaned out would be enough to show that someone has a grudge. Therefore, without some prior history of drug use and/or selling, it is unlikely that he would be charged.

The author should not make such stupid statments so I had to downgrade from 5 to 3 stars.

your idea sounds great. Dont forget to do it before she gets PG. TK U MLJ LV NV

Wish I could have done that to my ex.

Brenda is getting off too easy, however.

BURN THE BITCH

HA

And there was certainly no need to debunk the results of hubby's revenge. This isn't Mythbusters or a documentary on National Geographic; it is story which shouldn't be taken seriously or to the literal extremes of DWornock's unrealistic standards.

5 stars because it is a good piece of fiction...

Alphabeticlly. For all the zircons there is the occasional gem like this one.

only in reverse (Z-A). His writing always strikes me one way or the other. A few I have wanted to lobby 'FTDS - Finish the damn Story' to spin the ending, some I have to sit back and rework my own ending so I can go on. He continues to be, at least to me, one of the treasures of this site.

Wish it was more fully developed, especially at the end. Five stars. Sounds like he has a promising plan.

...why JPB is the King of Twisted. The man KNOWS how to exact revenge in a way that leaves a lasting impression.

What else can I say?

Oh, yeah. 5 HUGE Stars!

Thanks for all your efforts.

And some funny comments. DWornock is correct when he says that sugar doesn't dissolve in gasoline but he's wrong about the damage done. The sugar either blocks the filter at the fuel intake, clogs the fuel filter or clogs up the fuel injectors and the car stops running. It is neither cheap or easy to clean the system out. And the Police don't care if lover boy doesn't have a drug record. Catching him twice is all the evidence they need to send him to jail. I do question how dumb the wife is though. If she talks to David and he tells her his suspicions about being setup, why wouldn't she KNOW that her husband knows about her cheating? That was the only weak link in the story. Otherwise a good story about a careful man that didn't want to hand a cheating wife half of everything. I will admit I'd like a second chapter to see if his plan works out. Good one Bob.

Why the hell would you keep fucking the whore? Have the urge to get an incurable disease?

I couldn't comment there, but I sent JPB some feedback on how the wife who previously refused anal could safely bring it up, and Brenda used my idea here!

In Louisiana, prisoners are released at one minute after midnight. She's not going to be suspicious about a midnight trip to the regional prison facility? Oh, well. A story of fiction. But I liked it.

or too far ahead and miss those ducks being aligned, TK U MLJ LV NV

re:

Midnight Prison Visits

In Louisiana, prisoners are released at one minute after midnight.

It's not that way in all states.

In Colorado the state lets them out in the day, so they can catch a bus to where their parole is at.

The counties let them out at 4am, it was midnight but the first place they would go is a bar and they would be back for a DUI before dawn.

No normal red blooded man would let a guy fuck his wife and just watch and listen. Ball bats are made for attention getting.

Why did she start cheating? Had she cheated previously? It just seems out of the blue.

Also how in the world can you watch for hours and not do something. Or how can you be OK with sloppy seconds? This dude has something wrong with him too.

Go out to the garage, get a piece of pipe, go back and bust in on them and beat the fucker senseless and tell her she's got 20 minutes to pack and get out!

Maybe someone will pick this one up and make the job you didnt.

I did not care for how the story stopped

Forget the story JPB never completes a story that's why they mostly suck just like JPB.

Love it.

I hope that it works out (ha, ha). 5*

You're just like inexperienced children. Got to have everything explained to them.

Stop playing with your pee-pee and fuck your sister a few times so you'll be ready to boldly go where real men have already been.

The story was well written and, for those of us who are actually adults, nothing more needed to be said. I gave it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

You have it in Spades. It is sometimes opposite to mine and I may not enjoy a story from time to time. But when your imagination meshes with .in, I am guaranteed to get an entertaining story. Yes, imagination is certainly your strong point.

That was one of the really good JPB stories. This was a.gem.

But why no follow-up? Why not carry the story through to the divorce?

Actually, I think He should have stopped having sex with her once David was in prison. Aside from making her horny, it’d emphasize that he knew, really make her nuts. Hell, he could even prepay with cash, for one night at a nearby motel, and leave her with the key at the prion as David is released.

That would be terrific if he can pull it off! I can't say I could find much forgiveness for a wife like that.

David should've been set up as a big black gangbanger's mistress in prison. That would have been the icing on the cake.

Sorry But I did not like the ending ..

Should have followed thru with his plan and had an ending. Oh well.

The ending needs to be better by following through with the plan.

Thought the ending was too abrupt. 3*

Nice flash.

Others say they are disappointed with the end. But it can easily be assumed he had a year to prepare and leave her penniless by the time he dropped her in front of the prison.

Don't you love it - bitches have to complain . . . oops- complainers have to bitch! I did like the thought of David being a forced jail house slut, regardless of doers color. Great story! Five stars.

5 Stars a good BTB story . It sounds like he is getting everything lined up . I am sure as an ex Con he will have no problem finding a job

Perhaps your should delay posting the story before you work out that "little detail." Unless you are too much involved with Harlina or Pauline French.

Maybe include an ending next time. It will score better.

Unfinished. What happens after? If you write a story, finish it. The ending as written needs to be developed, or just have that other ending. Either way Secondly & more important, why didn't he film what he saw? Videos, stills,,, could've saved a lot of money on a PI; he had all he needed there. However, WHY did he not, at some point, bust into the room with a bat or something & clobber David before throwing him out of the house... without clothing. To wait & see is one thing. Spending 1+ hours watching- and not taking any pictures!- is quite another, and totally idiotic. I gave it 2stars bec. of the above.

What he did to David was uncalled for.

re: What he did to David was uncalled for. I guess we should David up for Sainthood, maybe Pope

When the opening line is: "It is always a blow to your ego when you find out that your wife is fucking another man.", you have to wonder how many times this has happened to this guy. How many times does it take to establish a baseline strong enough to support the statement that things "always" go this way? Five times? Ten times? The words are put into the mc's mouth, but it must be the author speaking directly to the reader.

So, how many times has this happened to the author?

LWlurker (835 times?)

An excellent light-hearted, amusing ditty, well told!

The gaggle of ducks going Quackers in the foregoing comments are baying unnecessarily! Part One is finished up just fine, but it would round this off nicely if we can have an inventive barrel-of-laughs with some epic skulduggery and endless laughs in Part II, as we howl at Hubby's inventive pranks to wreak havoc with with the Not-Quite-So-innocent wifey Brenda, and what preposterous-pranks will he conjure-up to punish her cheating-ass, and how will he weasel his way out of being conned into financing her new best favourite hobby of shamelessly slutting around town?

Well done!

"I could see her looking at me from time to time as if wondering when I'm going to drop the bomb on her." - Hey, he got rid of the interloper, he's getting the best sex of his life, and she's scared shitless to cheat again. As long as he can ensure that David is gone from their life, why not hang in there indefinitely?

I am not a BTBer, but this is quite funny. You write well, even if I generally do not like your outcomes.

Enjoyable story. He did spend some time getting his revenge.

PLAIN BOB IS A CUCK WITH HIS CUCKOLD WEAK WIMP MC

this is one of your stories i could actually handle.

well least your consistent.. consistently suck

Well soon to be burnt Bitch.

Should have divorced her cheating ass earlier.

jostorm1945

Great story... I just love it when the people doing the wrong get burnt.. luv it

Guess the MC didn't mind sloppy seconds. Just getting David sent to fired and sent to jail wasn't enough in my mind. Seems like a word or two to somebody on the inside could make his life a living hell if it was played right. Kind of weak on the BTB.

Burn ‘em Bob.

I never can understand why MC's in stories like this just sit there and watch another man fuck their girl.

Good start. Now FTDS!

Reads like the story of a man who is torn between his secret cuckold fetish and the need to play act the part of the betrayed husband in order to keep up his delusional self perception of being an average heterosexual guy. Just gross the way he keeps effing his wife, especially since she took on her lover bareback. The mucous lining of the vagina will keep some of the swimmers, bacteria and what not even if the woman is douching after sex. You'd have to wait several days going in after another man to net get a dose of sloppy seconds. Also STIs and STDs reportedly are on the rise...

The best revenge is that which is served cold.