Very interesting. Well, to me, anyway. I don't imagine it's interesting to you, just terrifying.
I too have recurring dreams, and although mine are not usually related to any phobias I have, I understand the fear that they can arouse in you. Even a not-particularly scary dream can be extremely disturbing when it recurs again and again, and yours certainly sounds more scary than most of the ones I have.
There's one particular one - and I have no idea of the origin of it - that makes me wake up sweating and breathing in a panicked way, often clutching at my throat as though I'm trying to scream but am too scared. In the dream, it's wintertime and I'm walking around outside. I'm somewhere in suburbia - nowhere that I recognize, just your average outer suburbs that you might find anywhere in England, or America, or probably anywhere else. There's snow on the ground, and christmas lights around, and the moon is shining on the snow, making everything silvery-gold and beautiful. And when I look up at the sky, the moon isn't there - in its place is a dead baby with no eyes.
I don't know where the dream comes from. I've never seen a dead baby in real life. I've never had a miscarriage - or been close to anyone who has - and I've never had any particularly strong feelings about abortion either way. Dead babies are not something that I think about at all when I'm not dreaming. Yet I have this dream, four to six times a year - not horrendously often, but disturbing enough - and after I have it, for weeks I find myself coming inside before dark, keeping curtains closed as I never do at other times, never looking at the moon, just in case it's all wrong the way it is in the dream.
So yes, I suppose I sort of understand the fear you feel.
I do have phobias, but it's rare for me to dream about them. When I do, they're single dreams rather than recurring ones. And I wake up scared, but not so scared that I have trouble breathing.
I really hope that you manage to extinguish your fear. Have you tried talking to people about it? I don't necessarily mean a counselor, although that may help...I was thinking more along the lines of a hypnotist or something. I have a friend who was terrified of snakes - terrified to the point of passing out when she saw one - and when she wanted to travel, and her wish to travel outweighed her fear, she saw a hypnotist and he really helped her. Which is not to say that it's a miracle cure or anything, and a lot of the time I wouldn't think to suggest it...but it might help, if you're desperate.
Good news, though: since your particular fear is rooted in logic, rather than being basically illogical, it'll probably be easier to cure. =)
Good luck! I really hope things work out.
I've heard hypnosis can be beneficial for these kinds of fears. I don't have them, and I've never tried it, but perhaps it would be worthwhile to research.
Ken in Virginia
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