All Comments on 'In My Life Ch. 05'

Emmerson is a man of supreme confidence except as to Maria's acceptance and love for him. A great read. One of your best. Keep up the good work.

Write 'em, cowboy!

Glad it ended well. However, I feel Maria was manipulative in this chapter, as she had shown herself to be throughout. She should have been more honest about her feelings, considering the hell she put Em through.

I mean for goodness sakes.... the man was going to take a bullet for her! Instead of manipulating him into revealing his feelings by placing him in an awkward situation, she should have just stated what she was feeling.

I'm all for men being heroes, but as someone said in a previous comment on chapter 4.. enough is enough. She has emasculated a very fine character. And for what? To save her pride?

I love romances and I actually liked your tale, it was very good in all areas, except the relationship between Em and Maria.

expected ending. But not sure she deserves him.

Maybe if you got them together quicker it would have been more credible.

that I liked Cathy the best. I still do!

This was a great story and I thouroughly enjoyed it.

Regards, DJ

I'm not going into this story as if it was a loving wives and who deserves whom. I just loved the story and your writing was fantastic. I so enjoyed looking forward to having this 5-chapter story waiting each morning to read. It was certainly a daily enjoyment. It was a western fantasy that captivated my senses and entertained me completely

Thank you

With the highest of regards

Don't stop here. More, please?

I love both Westerns and romances and this one sure fit the bill. She was a tough little filly to break and I'm not even sure she was broken. I hope their marriage will be smoother than their courtship.

Regards, Boyd

HDK,

This is fun, I hope there is more. Well, done.

Maybe a little mushy but a great read!!

I wonder if we're getting an epilogue. You know, cattle, ranch size, babies, grandparents, friends.

HDK:

Maria is one wilfull woman. His whole married life the poor man will be standing in the path of the typhoon wondering when the winds will strike. Another great story. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Great story well written but my opinion of Maria is that she is one of the nastiest mean vile contemptible woman that have ever be written about her on Lit. ....

after emerson is willing to take a bullet and trade his life for hers this lying mainipulative judegmental twisted self centtreed spich bitch STILL decides to go through with her "plan" to TRICK and decieve her "MAN" that she supposdely loves into a PUBLIC humilation?!?!?

Jesus H christ Emerson run away from that whore as fast as you can.

Imagine these 2 are married say ... 5 tears from now.... one of their cows is giving birth so Emerson decides to comfort the mother cow and stroke her Face or belly .... Maria comes through the door sees Emerson doing that that and decides...

Emerson is cheating on her with a cow !!!

I agree with Harry in VA Maria is an immature spoilt brat and the hero is far too good for her. I dont agree with Harry's red neck racist comments on her ethnic background. Keep your nasty comments to yourself Harry

Well written, I love the old west! Good to have a writer of this caliber take on a western. I really liked Cathy's character, think Emerson would have been better of with her. After a few years of Maria, he'll probably go back to sea to stay! Good job!

HDK, as I said in another venue, keep looking for the name Zane ... Great story. Do you have any other novels hidden away??

I would have liked Maria redeemed sooner, but to understand her "manipulations" you have to understand the period time and her culture. She could never reveal her love or interest UNLESS he declared himself first. It wasn't done, especially in an Hispanic culture. No way. Not acceptable. Even so, the way she did it was quite forward. She risked her reputation and ridicule, her family's condemnation and wrath for him, that's as brave as she could be, especially if he didn't return her feelings, declared proudly and loudly his love. Bravery has many faces. Maria was a product of her culture and the times. She was protected and cuddled, beyond belief. Very scared, quite fragile, vulnerable to slander and bigotry in a land that mostly saw her as a half-breed. She was raised, feeling less, carrying a chip on her shoulder. I'm glad that this author gave her value. That our hero loved her no matter her flaws. He saw in her what others couldn't see. He loved her through thick and thin, waiting for her till she valued herself as much as he valued her. That is true love, the perfect hero.

My only critique for the story is that it felt "telling, rather than showing" through the use of dialogue, which is okay, but...would have liked more action, less telling.

Great story,but like a lot of others I think Emmerson would have been better off going back to sea.Facing a hurricane or two will be safer than marrying Maria.

On one hand you "had" a pretty good story up till this point. I mean, it was full of action, danger, and intrigue. Of course the ending was *kinda* abrupt after all the parts leading up to it, but it was pretty much the expected end I thought it would have for me.

But the story wasn't really a love story to me. It's what the police refer to as a "beat down in progress".

Sure you could try and claim the time and era of this story lead to the characters acting how they acted, but please lets be honest a second. You have on one hand a man, by his actions and the testimony of others, to be honest, hardworking, and doing everything in his power to make amends for his previous actions as a teenager. Then on the other hand you have a woman, who's only claim in the story is that she is spoil, obnoxious, with cruel tendoncies (if you don't think so, who else would hit someone in a healing wound to make sure they could feel it), and the only claim she had was apparently everyone thought she was a beauty worth fighting for. And for that everyone did nothing but make excuses for her actions. He grew up. She did not.

I'm sorry, but for me you had this guy sacrifice any and "all" of his "self respect". I mean the guy had none. The girl kept putting him in situations time and time again where he almost died. She kept being cruel and publicly humiliating him time and time again, and he kept going back for more. For me this doesn't make a love story, it makes him look sad really. Now if you had the female love intrest doing something to prove "HERSELF" worthy of him that would have balanced it out. But just having her corner him into proposing to her, that isn't redeming.

Being *pretty* isn't a form of redemption. But that's the only thing you had her bring to the table her. Him he had to prove himself to her time and time again. Her? She was pretty. Yep, thats about it. That's she did to prove herself worthy of him to others. That made her character seem shallow.

I mean she *finially* decided to marry him after he was willing to put up with all her abuse? After he took bullets and knives defending her? After she was cruel to him time and time again? Because she decided to marry him that made it all better?

That ruined it for me. Having the obvious hero who proved to the world what a good person he was get, pardon the pun, *saddled* with an obviously pretty but again obviously spoild girl who did nothing to redeme herself to others, save looking pretty, was really a sad love story for me.

A+ on style and creativity

D- on character development of the main characters.

Sorry, I feel that way. It was a good story, but you had one character that proved time and time again she didn't deserve the hero, yet thats how you stuck them together.

-Risq

overdue - maybe in front of others but only after he "heals" physically - but no more to her juvenile self centered petulance.

Exceptionally well written. Everyone needs to realize that without her childish actions there wouldn't have been a romance worth writing to this level. I don't think Luke Short would have written it this way but in this reflective era perhaps he would have.

HDK - your diversity is showing well! Whats next? Not a soap opera I hope.

Thanks Author - you are appreciated for your talent, guts and imagination. They have put you in the company of the best here and this is the best site on the internet with the best writers and authors.

Congrats With Very High Regard

HDK, my appreciation is boundless. Thanks for a hell of a read.

I really liked the story. But I thought the ending did not fit very well. There were a lot of shall we say nicer ways that Maria could have found her answers.

why the name calling and the attack on a race of people,because of an inmature young girl.this was a clean story that i like to see more.what is more nasty than a mother and wife whoring herself for hubby can watch.go to a mental health center harry in va.you need help.

The absoulutly best story I have ever read. I have liked your stories before but hve never sat and read them all. as there was nothing on the new that interested me I have went to the story spinner and came upon ne of yous and the went to your other stories and cme on this series. A pervect romance story and that is what surprised me. Again great story

Mike

What a wonderful story. I could not stop reading until I had finished with it. True to your word it was framed as western in locale. The story though was pure soap opera, a romance novel genre located in New Mexico. The plot was great. The storyline was clean. The sub plots were familiar and completely in harmony with the main story. They enhanced it instead of distracting as many can.

The hero's character was cleverly created in the traditional"western" style, strong, silent, handsome, and capable. It worked well throughout.

The heroine's character, by contrast was flighty, self centered and immature in her conclusions and actions. Most women and girls had to learn to be self sufficient in the rugged lands of old Mexico. Even on the Ranchos and haciendas most of them could also chop the trees and plow the fields alongside their spouses. They were hardy, resolute and sturdy to survive with no urban amenities. It was often a stretch to claim that such a woman was feminine or attractive.

Therefore, while it is somewhat surprising to see her character dismissing and overriding her father's stated desires as well as ignoring her brother as inconsequential, it is even more surprising to see her make and act upon conclusions based on rumor, hearsay, and misinformed actions. Indeed, most of the misinformation came from her own imagination, and many were the result of her own immature actions.

This is only my personal opinion and it definitely did not diminish my appreciation and enjoyment of your creation. It is an epic achievement. In truth, I would like to read more of your efforts. I am currently gleaning all of your posted stories on this site. I look forward to many more hours of pleasure in that pusuit. Thank you for posting and sharing this so that we readers might enjoy it.

Early June c/o April35showers@hotmail.com

I only left feed back on this story but it is meant for the whole series.

This is by far the best story on here, as good of story telling as Louis Lamour did with his books.

If you ever decide to return to these and take up there future

I know that I would enjoy there continuation.

Thank you for the pure enjoyment your story has brought.

Mike from Texas

Shades of the great Zane Grey just can not say anything better.

HDN,

I haven't read this story yet, but I have read some of your other stuff. I am so glad you have written a longjohn here. My only complaint about your writing is the brevity of a lot of it--I know others feel the same way. Anyway, I am voting a five here and congratulating you in advance because there is no doubt that you will have written a quality story.

Mr. L'Amour would be proud. Good show.

This was the first story of yours that I have read and I want to say that I truly enjoyed it. As a fan of Louis L'Amour and Zane Gray, this story rates with the best of their works. New fan, JK

This is your best story yet. Professionally done. I only wish you had a website not associated with porn where I could point people to it.

A great story until the end. The first chapter had me thinking it was L'Lamour re-born, went down from there.

Emerson is definately written as the hero. Maria left a lot to be desired. Anyway I read the whole story and enjoyed it! Thank-you for writing it.

this is an oustanding story. western, yes, but a love story just the same. best on this site. contact someone in hollywood and get it made.

Shades of early L'Amour. I have read everything Louis ever wrote, except maby some early magazine stories i couldnt find.

This story is excellent, but could use a bit of polishing. If you were to publish it as a book i would buy it and more of the same.

Best regards and keep up the good writing.

I loved it, what a story! Not sure where all the condemnation of Maria is coming from, hell Emerson was the same way emotionally. Maria may have had some trouble with her emotions and a lack of self confidence when it came to Emerson, but she was also a capable girl. She pulled her weight on the cattle drive, killed the indian that was attacking Emerson and was quick thinking and ready to back herself up with her rifle when the two drifters came to the camp when Emerson was ill. Emerson suffered from the same lack of self confidence when it came to her. He told everyone he met how much he cared for her but couldn't tell her. And frankly, Harry in VA can suck my left nut with his racist commentary, hillbilly mother fucker. Great story, good to see something with some length to it, I greatly enjoyed reading this.

Flash back to the great westerns stories of Louis L'Amour. Thank you for such great entertainment. This series was excellent from start to finish.

Now if you would only do it again. I know what you are thinking , I am never satisfied, well you should not tease us like that.

Thank you Mike from Texas.

I am not a fan of all the loving wives stories. I do not like betrayal but as this was a western and in the novellas catagory I gave it a chance. I am glad I did I would read more of your stories but this is the only one not in the LW catagory.

Thanks it was great.

As a western fan, a great story, Louis LaMor and Will James would be proud.

Thoroughly enjoyed the entire tale, although as many have suggested, Cathy seemed to be the best female character, open, honest, grabbing the rifle when it mattered most.

I enjoy your work, but this seemed to rise to another level. Wouldn't take much cleanup to make a real novel out of it. Definitely one of the best stories I've read on here. Not a huge western fan, but maybe you've changed my mind - I'll have to read a few more.

Thank you for an engaging and enjoyable story. Keep up the excellent work!

i thought that the story was and is one of the best written yet. i enjoyed the interaction between characters thoughout the entire story. i think maria needs to be recued and brought back to life, perhaps her husband can rescue her from the clutches of the evil cattle barren next time . just a thought .. thank you very much for sharing ..

The plot was predictable, the dialog was forced, a guy lays dying on the dance floor with very little explaination while a whacky girl blabbers on and on. Not a bad read, but certainly not great...not even one of HDK's best....IMO

Loved the story, the action, the intrigue, and the romance even if it did move slower than slugs mating. I can honestly say you are the master.

A Great Love Story as well as a pretty decent Western. Good job!

Loved it! :)

You remind of Zane Gray with a little of Louis Lamour. Why are you not writing Western stories? You are good at it. Do it.

I've read Zane Grey and Louis L'Amour ... actually had all of Louis' novels in paperback form for awhile. Yes, HDK can be mentioned in the same breath as Zane and Louis. HDK! Although your LW stories are interesting and fun I for one would urge you to expand your horizon. You obviously have the talent to write in other genres. Thanks!

i,m a sucker for a happy ending and this is one of the best stories i have read on this site i hope you are going to continue to write for a very long time kudos my friend ( sorry for taking that liberty ) kudos

Fantastic story but I have to say that Maria seemed to be an incredibly immature and spoiled little girl. I don't understand why everyone in the story treated her like a china doll that would shatter into a million pieces if she was ever chastised.

I would have also liked to have seen more of the story between Tom and Cathy as that seemed to be a more interesting couple.

Still loved the story and thanks for writti g it.

Just finished In My Life for the third time. One of the best stories on Lit (even with no sex). I would love to see a follow up story of Emerson and Maria five years latter.

This is by far the best series on Literotica. Would you please present another with the western flair. I have many authors on my favorite list but this is the only story.

Thank you for the entertainment and pleasure of reading this series.

Mike from Texas

Really enjoyed reading this story. Very similar to a story by L. L'A. "North to the Rails". Thank you.

Please write and post more Western stories for your readers. This is very good and I enjoy it every time I read it. Thanks.

I just finished reading it again. Some people may not understand the character of Maria. I find her and Emerson's development delightful. Everytime I read this story, I get tears. I love the way little things were injected to set up the finish and the last dialog by Maria was fantastic. It was a brilliant finish with the ring.

thx - azsam

Woodmanone has some competition. A great story in the Louis L'Amour tradition.

Have enjoyed a number of your stories, but this is my favorite, having revisited it a couple of times. Wish you could come up with another in the same vein. Thanks!

I enjoyed reading the entire series. I feel it is a tribute to Zane Grey.

Please write more romantic westerns.

all i can say is .. when is the movie coming out. it would make a really good one. havent seen a good western in awhile.

Great story set in a time I have loved to read about since I was so much younger. Great job!

This is an awesome story. The only problem I had wth it was the whole game & drama crap Maria pulled in the end. It is so bad I skip it everytime I read it. It still one of my favs.

I absolutely loved this series. Everything about it. As a Zane Grey and Louis L'amour fan, I laughed, got angry and cried at the appropriate times. This is probably the best story I've every read on this entire site. I can't say enough good about it.

The entire story is great! The ending is a little abrupt. After all these years it would be fun to see how Emerson and Maria have evolved, along with the rest of the cast. Please, lets have some more Westerns! You do them so well!

Great story, even if the protagonists behavior was a little convoluted. We invested all this time just to get to the good part of the story and boom, it ends. There should have been more. It's a shame to just let a good story drop. Sorry, you dropped the ball on the ending.

Loved this storu

Wonderful story! I loved it and look forward to reading more from you. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for a wonderful story.

Really liked this...especially the ending!

trickery, doubt, and deceit.

Him shielding her would't work. The slug would have passed through him and her and probably through anybody standing behind them unless by a small chance it might glance off bone. Even a 38 will break a bone and pass through a body.

You are such a great writer. I love your masterpiece.

Story was good. But that can't be the ending. Should end with hem settled down with children.

would like to know what is next love the series in this storie

Absolutely. Fantastic! !!!!!

I think you should write more of these.

I agree that this series is great! And Wonderful!

Please write more.

It reads a lot like an old Zane Grey western. Sappy, romantic, and just plain fun to read!

This is, by far, your best project. I've read the majority of your work and most have been good and some not. This piece of writing has good characters and you've made each one supportive and determined in every event.

Wish I could score it a10! Love it !!!

You hit a home run with this story. I enjoy westerns and I enjoy good stories and I got both of them in this tale. Like some of the other comments, I wish that I could give this a 10. I had to stop at a coffee shop today and pay $3.50 for a cup of coffee so I could continue to read this story. This is one of the best - if not THE best-story I have read on this site. Yes, he was a little to supermanish for me and she was a little immature with him, but the story still carried the day. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for a fantastic story.

I've read a lot of your shorter stories and always thought you were capable of a longer one with lots of character development and drama. This one certainly proved that - a 5+

your story had me up all night just to finish it. I must tell you each chapter was well worth it. I have to say this is my favorite.

It could have ended as a tragedy and for a while there you had me convinced that it would. She was a high spirited filly and neither really came clean with the other.

Maybe is he could remember the Spanish conversation that they had when he was wounded......

Once I started it, I couldn't stop. The characters were excellent. The tension between Emerson and Maria was done extremely well. Please write more along these lines. This story is a '10' in my book.

great story really liked it just one minor thing about emerson he tread's his best friend billy like a dog bit disapointing from such a goodman.

Very good G rated cowboy yarn. Nicely written with characters worthy of being straight out of Zane Grey's imagination. I kept hoping for at least a little of the "erotica" part to go with the "Lit" part. Oh well, can't have everything.

this could have been written by the old western writers. Grey, Lamour or a number of others . I have nearly every book that Zane Grey wrote. there was 1 that was publish by the family set in the 1800's in the land down under.

I haven't read this story before but in many ways it reads like an early draft of Lady in Red. That's a good thing by the way!

Zane Grey comments. This was an excellent little tale. I even liked the New Mexico setting. . . Scotty

I liked the story and character development. The only issue I have with this story is the hero ending up with the lesser of the women. Maria's stunt at the end solidified her spot as a self centered, emotionally unstable twit who should marry one of the bad guys to make his life a living hell.

i had to read this story again and its one of my favorites by this author. I agree with one of the previous commenters though, Maria was starting to get on my nerves a little bit lol

I loved this story so much. I read it over a few times before I went to your lady in red which I couldn't put down. I saw that Maria wasn't bad she was confused and couldn't except she was in love she just didn't want to be hurt again. Any chance for a second installment light the wedding and the first year of marriage? Love the characters and there make up

reminds me of a Louis L'Amour tale which is as high a complement as I can give. L'Amour and my family have history going back before WWII in Choctaw OK where he taught my dad how to box when my dad was a teenager. You did a damn fine job with this tale. thank you. 5*

Thee should be another chapter for an ending instead of an stop.

Maria was a bit too much towards the end with her crappy attitude and games but really enjoyed this offering.

As much as I liked the story and see the writing quality of Louis L'Amour, I also see a spoiled self-centered brat that must be the center of everything including the domination and total control of Emerson. In front of all, Emerson showed he is PW with only a kiss to show for it. What more does this Emerson need to do to display his total love for Maria - for her to step beyond HER problem with his youthful past? How was she not as racist towards Ellen calling her an 'Anglo' as Emerson did once at the ripe old age of 16? How many times does he need to risk his life or save her precious reputation to only chaste him due to her ignorance and vanity? Spoiled Maria needs 'a come to Jesus moment for clarity of what real love is' this story misses that strategic point.

Sorry but this story needs to save his dignity/manhood --- during her public humiliation of him in the ball when she asked him if he has any question for her - his response is NO, followed by, 'for 8yrs I've had a dream and you were that dream but in just a few weeks you broke me and killed that dream, I no longer can take your public humiliation, your distrust in my actions, or your disdain of me. I've tried and failed, I apologize once again to you and to all at this Ball. But it is time for me to go back to sea for another 8yrs. GOOD-BYE Maria.' As he walks out of the ball he turns back to her and tosses her the ring, stating 'keep this I'll never have need of it and I'll never speak your name again'. He walks out the door, with Billy following as Maria screams "NO" crumpling and sobbing to the floor with all the women aghast, looking at her with total contempt knowing she broke him all due to HER vanity. Molly and Nancy fall into Miles arms sobbing knowing they may never see their son again. While Cathy mutters to Tom, I told her this would drive him away - she just will not listen, she has to play her games. Pat and Carmella look on grief stricken knowing they just lost THE SON-in-law they so hoped to gain.

Anything short of this ending makes him look like a cuck-in-waiting.

The final line of the story is spoken while standing on the forecastle of his ship leaving harbor as Emerson tells Billy "I hope the sea still loves me."

Eulogy: While Senator Emerson (life long bachelor) is rocking on the porch of the family hacienda he reminisces of his return to New Mexico ~10yrs after that fateful Santa Fe Gov Ball. At Nancy's request he came home to walk her down the aisle since Miles was just killed in a ranching accident and they needed Emerson's help to run the family ranch. Shorty just could not do all that is needed. Emerson now in his mid thirties had only seen his spunky little step-sister for ~8wks before returned to sea but corresponded to her as often as possible. Nancy is a strikingly beautiful copy of Molly. But upon return Emerson saw Molly was warn beyond her days but snapped back to life in seeing the return of her long lost son back from self exile. Billy had died at sea which progressively soured Emerson in continuing a seafarers life. Cathy (the area school teacher) married to Tom welcomed Emerson with open arms as did there three young daughters - who finally got to meet the legendary Uncle Emerson and were smitten with him immediately.

Pat and Carmella had since past away - upon Emerson's return he went to their grave and in tears quietly apologized to them once again. But after Pat died Maria was desperate to find a man to keep the ranch running, reluctantly she became Hogan's wife - she now looked old way beyond her years having been beaten often by Hogan for not baring him children. The beautiful Maria was now just a shell with a dream and a ring. As she had to dominate Emerson she was now dominated by Hogan. Life goes on. KRD

I like your ending better

Don't leave it there. There is so much more to go in this great story.

Yeah, he was a shithead as a kid... No one argues that... But how many times does he have to nearly get liked helping her for her to 2 + 2 and get 4...?

And while he was feverish, why would she think anything he said was a lie...?

If she trusted him enough to KNOW he would save her in the stampede, the rest makes her seem braindead.

And what the Hell was with his friend Billy...? The only talking about going back to sea was instigated by HIM... So effectively you had HIM playing stupid games too.

The ending met with the way you wrote Emerson but, really, he should have had SOME backbone with her... Even the best of guys in normal stories WOULD have seriously considered spanking her for the whole "Let's make a surprise meal and almost get everyone killed. It wouldn't matter that having done it gave them the BEST chance at beating that gang - it was still stupid and hardly in keeping with the "I'll listen to you about everything dealing with the cattle drive."

Sorry HDK, but your feminist side was in full control for parts of this story, the whole ending was the worst part. I can't believe he still wanted to marry her, what kind of life could that harpy give him? Humiliate him in front of everyone at the ball after all the crap she pulled? She's just a jealous, immature, selfish, spoiled bitch who will spend most of her life demanding compliments from her husband, demanding he work on her "honey-do" list, and weeping crocodile tears for her collection of sycophants. He should have dumped her and ridden back home when she started dating that loser Michael.

Emmerson should have told her, "You know me by now. You've seen me at my best, my worst, and everything in-between. If you still feel the need to be courted by other men, if you still doubt me, if you still want someone else, then we're wasting each other's time. I wish you the best and I'm sorry I treated you the way I did when we were young. Have a nice life Maria. I hope we can one day be friends. So long...". He should then have told everyone he'd see them at the ranch for splitting the funds and headed for home. Let her chase him for once - or not. I wouldn't have cared either way.

The highest maintenance bitch in history

.

I grew up on reading western novels, I just loved this series, 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this Story is non western. The Story is writen in puppy love romantic dream cream embarrassing style