All Comments on 'Clean Brother Muddy Sister'

nice little pick me up before heading to bed. loved the story and hopefully we'll see more of Gab and Zoey.

But like most guys you need to give the girl oversize boobs and the guy an oversized dickey

Takes away the realism

I am guessing you are a guy. I stopped reading this because you had her go from a BJ right to being "taken" by him. I am a guy as well, but if a girl is going to go down on a guy, the proper "polite" thing to do is go down too. Not only because it is the right thing to do, but because it is really fun!

You miss half the fun of watching her pass out or coming close to it. (If done right, she should pass out)

I love red heads...so you got me pretty quickly. Forget the comments about protocol of oral sex--I've been with plenty of women who use oral sex on me just to bring me greater wood--they want a good hard fuck and this is a way to get it. I end up eating them as a prelude to our second fuck.

I absolutely loved your story, It reminded me of how my sister & I started having sex. There is nothing like being balls deep in your sister's pussy. We have enjoyed a fantastic (yet secret) love life for quite a while now. We think our mother has some suspicions. One day we may write our story on the pages of Literotica!

Thanx again, great story!!!

in the shower with a guy. However it lacks a little realism and for want of a better word, believability. Devouring a 9" dick in one foul swoop just seems like an exaggeration for a young girl. (Not that she couldn't learn to do that)But I hope that she didn't bruise her tonsils.

It is an okay story. Amyfriend...the phrase is one FELL swoop, not foul.

it kind of tanked with the shower if he was so uncomfortable around her then he would have got out as soon as she got in no way he would have stayed if it bothered him as much as you said and as others have said you don't just jump from a blow job to fucking especially the first time your with someone so to recap unrealistic begining and rushed one sided foreplay and rushed sex could have been much better

did you read it?

he wasnt uncomfortable, he had a crush on her already, he was just surprised.....

Any ways it was good but she swallowed a nine in dik really dude needs to be a lil more realistic and other than that u did good hope to c a chapter2

no background a rush to sex over sized equipment all equals a halfassed story.

Poorly written an unrealistic, no idea why this seemingly good beginning became a five second piece of trash.

hard to get excited when you have to stop a figure out what is happening either because of piss poor writing or unrealistic content. this contained BOTH the writer needs to go back to grade school and learn instead of paying hooky. either do it right and use a good editor before posting or DON'T WRITE AND POST AT ALL JUST KEEP THE TRASH TO YOURSELF PLEASE.

by Anonymous

08/22/13

you need to go back to high school! I followed that story to the key and I think it was great so great I'm gonna favorite the story and author! so take that you worthless Piece of Shit!

Grow some balls and make an account! instead of ridiculing it as Anonymous! please grow a pair then comment on more story's!

To him she was what love in his life meant. But he knew they were siblings and they cannot have that type of relationship. It was forbidden and taboo in every way. He just spent his nights masturbating about her. "I just got in Zoey." He snapped back.

@@@ stating the obvious is kind of unneeded, it makes the writing look a bit childish too. ...and theres a difference between 'cannot' and 'shouldn't' ;). @@@

"Yeah but you're getting in the shower with me still in here?" He couldn't believe it. He didn't really mind, but he didn't want to come off as a pervert and get all giddy about his sister joining him in the shower.

@@@ here we go with the pussy brother act again, ugh! No brother would say that, he'd just let her in and wash her back and maybe get handsy if he was bold. EVERY sister on the fucking planet knows that her brother pervs on her, its just a fact! @@@

"Thanks." She put her head right underneath the showerhead to rinse out the shampoo. He turned around and as he did his hard cock hit right into her side.

"Oh my God!" He half yelled and half faintly said. "I am so sorry Zoey, Oh my god!"

"I-it's," She giggled and looked at his worried expression she found it hilarious and slightly arousing too. "It's ok."

@@@ well so far the story is overly cliche' and overly dramatic. Sigh. No brother is going to shit himself and apologize like a tard because his woodie slapped his sisters side. Puulease!! Sad ass! @@@

Gabriel started to soap her back up and cleaning her, his dick sometimes hitting into her butt or sides.

@@@ what, he cant even get a full hard-on with his naked sister all wet? Last time I checked most all hard dicks pointed UP, not out. Unless you're one of those pornstar freaks and its too damned long to stand up. @@@

Zoey was standing there still enjoying that contact of his huge thick nine inch dick rubbing against her ass and lightly on her lower back.

@@@ lol, I knew it. Hah. So sad. @@@

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...rofl, it gets more cliche' from here on out, guess I'll stop commenting. Sigh.

....lol, ok I cant resist! Its just so easy, lol. Here, check out this next paragraph and try not to cringe!

"""Um, ok." Oh damn, she thought, did I sound to wanting for that. She thought also if he might have sent out a hint but figured not and just continued to clean his back but with her bare hands now. Oh it felt great she thought to herself her bare hands rubbing all over his muscles."""

.

See? There are so many damned things wrong there that its scary!! It doesn't get better either, lol. Ok, Ill set that aside and read through for a bit! Heh.

Oh wait! He just RAMMED his 9"er up in her supposedly untouched pussy and she seems magically thrilled with it!

Oh hell, I cant read anymore, I cant! Its too damned painful!!

Total Crap

Refractory period... look it up. There's no way he could have "busted the biggest load ever" and still stayed hard enough to keep going.