All Comments on 'Understand Breasts & Bra Sizes'

A confusing, but interesting 'explanation' only because I am a guy and bra sizes are an enigma...always will be to me

i agree with pretty much everything you said in this article, i feel very turned off when i read things like "7-inch penis" or "36C breasts" etc. no one gets turned on by numbers. and as a woman, i know exactly how independable bra sizes are. forget brands, even different styles within the same brand vary in bra size. anyway, good job on the article.

I think men and women will often disagree on this. Men love to quantify the world. It's in our nature. Women are more interested in feelings. Men are more interested in facts.

So, while I love a juicy description, I can still admire the efficiency of a quick measurement.

elfin,

to forget the numbers. They are without meaning. Your own personal fetish determines whether her breasts please you or not. Having said that I will almost promise that very few women are pleased with their breasts, as somehow something is always wrong; they sag, they're too small, too, big, something.

I went with a girl (as a pimple-faced teen ager), with breasts that were perfect, except; they were perfect but lay lower on her chest wall then her girl friend's breasts. This fact always distressed her and embarressed her to the point that on a date she was always apologizing for her defect.

When I found out I liked more mature women as a Horny Young Sailor, the ladies of my life were all beginning to lose the battle with gravity and to my delight, I loved the sagging (pendulous) breasts. There is so much you can do with them that's not possible with so-called perfect breasts.

They are veritable playgrounds of delight. To fall asleep after making love, to be able to hold one of those beauties as you drift off to sleep is the perfect end to a perfect evening. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Next time though, why don't you consider using headings? Or break it up in some way? It's hard to read such a block of text sometimes....

I have yet to quit giggling. I am SOOOO glad someone finally did a piece like this, because, well... it's true! I have been telling salespeople for years and years and years that yes, I really DO need a 32 B, NOT a 34A, and they really don't get it.

Too often men think that a woman's breasts, if they're a certain measurement, are perfect.. until they see multiple sets of breasts with the same measurement and wildly different looks. Numbers and letters don't take into account perkiness, tone, shape, etc.

This was a well written and humorous How To (and tell FW that I think I am in love) and I truly, truly enjoyed reading it.

Falling

P.S. The measuring above, across and over the breasts really is the best way to get a fairly accurate guide to use in shopping, but as you pointed out, it still depends on the bra.

Very well done. I am male, but I too have often been turned off from a story by too much attention being paid to the numbers. An author should help the reader's imagination do what it's supposed to do. Even using a simple adjective, such as in "he fondled her generous breasts" is, to me, much more erotic than "he fondled her 36C's". If for no other reason than my conception of "generous" is probably different from every other guy's and I don't go around with a tape measure. I know when I like what I see, and I've never met a breast I didn't like.

Now, would someone please post a companion article about penis sizes?

This topic has been long overdue for discussion. Whenever I read a story with breast (and cock) measurements featured within the first few paragraphs, I immediately backspace. There's no point to it. Thanks for this educational piece, and good luck.

Great how-to Elfin! But the real question is: can I fondle your breasts now? You know, just cuz. I promise I won't use numbers to describe them. ;)

I strongly endorse the authors attempt to banish the use of bra sizes in erotic stories. If the use of culinary comparisons for their juices is also banned we shll have much more realistic and enjoyable erotica

LOL. I agree with you on leaving the numbers out of the stories. So many men have asked me what size bra I wear. They'd likely be disappointed to see these '40Ds' uncontained, lol. Not to mention that the size changes depending on water retention. :D Good luck, Elf. ~Minx

Loved it! Measurements will get a backclick from me almost every time...even halfway through a story. Yuk. This was funny, well-written, and a riot to read. I've got everything from a 38C to a 42D in my drawers and they all fit... go figure. Breasts deserve equal descriptive treatment, I totally agree! :)

Absolutely hilarious. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Quite valid points and a charming read (amiably voiced). Thank you for this. Glad I checked in today and found it.

Wow, funny and informative - and since I got pregnant the first time and started going Medieval in my bra-making, I didn't think I'd find anything new to learn. Never thought of checking out cross-dresser sites - good idea!

One description you missed, and it's my favourite, as well as from a Monty Python movie: I love my "huge tracts of land!" :D

Thanks for the enjoyable article, I'm telling all my Lit friends about it. :) I hope you win, you deserve it!

My household contained my generous-breasted wife and three daughters of totally different shapes and sizes. In my ignorance, I expected the onset of menstruation to be a traumatic high (or low) point in my daughters' lives. Totally wrong: all three sailed through that without a visible (to me, anyway) ripple. What was really traumatic, and the cause of quite a bit of frustration and bad language, was their trying to decide what size they were. Bra sizes, of course, but also the sizing system (or lack thereof) of every other article of clothing. It's so much easier for men.

What an original, well thought and well crafted discussion about the feminine breast. Thank you for a wonderful romp through the how-to's and how-NOT-to's of erotically describing Madam's Mammaries. Hope this is widely circulated and read, I think it will make every writer's story better. GREAT JOB!

Great. I figured I had been absent from the boys' locker room the day a lot of that "knowledge" had been handed out. My experience has been that,upon the first erotic glimpse, the human brain and eye do not instantly turn into a tape measure.

Love the deft shifts in thr thrust of the humor.

BTW, a woman packing 32s would be size 100000 in binary notation. Not sure whether that would make her feel better...or worse.

Thank you for trying, but rest assured that tomorrow there will be a dozen new stories posted with the same worthless dribble attached, allegedly describing in a couple of numbers and a letter what could have been much more erotically described in an affectionate paragraph. Nice try though :)

"Pee-Wee Logan's career RBI was to die for.."

Yeah, that sounds EXACTLY like something a guy would say.

While you're chastising men for the way they write about boobs, how about looking at the way you write male dialogue?

You say that a woman's band size will never increase. You're wrong it most certainly can and does. Whenever a woman gains, or loses weight her band size will change.

I used "measurements" for primary character bios, just as a rough idea, but I wouldn't mention them in a story, unless, like you say, the situation absolutely called for it. Even then, it would be passed of as purely informational. Mostly, I use it as a guide, and I derived my information from the stats of various porn stars with similar attributes to my characters, and modified them based on several different size charts available online.

Trust me, finding the proper measurements, (not just bra size, but waist and hips, too), so that your characters are not grotesquely disfigured is NO EASY TASK. For instance, you don't want a 36I-22-38. As appealing as a slim waist, big breasts and wide hips might be, that is horribly out of proportion. The wider you make the chest and hips, the wider the waist should be made to accommodate the weight distribution. That's not to mention that a 36I would have so much sweater meat for her chest size that she would probably have a hard time reaching past her breasts. I'm just saying that, as a man, I actually try to be sensitive to a woman's measurements.

All that being said, seeing a bra size in an erotic story usually doesn't bother me, if I'm just using it as an, er, sexual aid. It depends on whether I'm looking for a good story or a good piece of porn. If it's the latter, a quick reference to bra size is all I need to get a quick idea in my head.

... the official way to measure a penis is erect, along the bottom from the join point of the scrotum to the tip. And you use a ruler, not a tape measure, so you need to straighten the penis gently if it's curled. (Using a tape measure would measure too much.)

funny

Granted band & cup size is far from accurate. But If I say she is a 38G, it is understood she has big boobs ;-) It is best to keep it simple 38 is the measurment around the ribcage 38 inches or 100cm. The cup size is just as simple 1 inch (2.54cm) is a cup size so a G is 7 inches. I know this is not how bra manufacturers do it but this is a fantasy driven site, just leave it alone ;>}

I loved it! Equally great as a commentary on undergarment size as well as overindulging in one method of descrition!

enjoyed reading your text...

you write very well I love to hear all sorts of breast discribed vividly

Geez does it ever freakin stop??I was trying to slit my wrists with a butter knife by the time it was over. I worked for a womens clothing store. I have measured hundreds of women for bras (and even a man once). It doesnt take a freakin rocket scientist for figure out how to work the tape measure; especially when you consider that most of them have the instructions printed on them.

I hate the descriptions of physiques in most stories -- just skip over them an get to the meat. Women are desirable in all shapes and forms, they don't have to be Naomi Campbell or Dolly Parton. Their legs don't have to be specatcular. In fact, I think that faces are much sexier than bodies--cheekbones, lips, flirty looks.

Getting back to breast descriptions, I can still remember a story I read twenty years or more ago about a woman who had "hugely billowing breasts" -- twice in tbe same story. I laughed so hard my erection shriveled up completely.

But your story was amusing and informative from a 32/34 A,B,or C, although more of a 33DD now with impending childbirth.

Whatever. Well done.

~ kbate

and humorous. Personally, I almost never mention bra size in a story, preferring words like "big" or "large" or "small" etc. I also like to describe them as "succulent" or "luscious". I take exception to your early statement that men are not described by numbers. Both penis sizes and breast sizes are often given in mumbers, but not in my stories.

By God, I'm a woman and never ever would want to know that much detail but interesting that someone would show ALL the aspects in thought - need a pacifier honey. Most women wear a bra size from their 20's so that puts your theories all to heck. Stick with plum, peach, orange, and papayas or the other fruits men would actally understand...but humorous.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hate it when guys tell the inches of the chick. The second I see that I click out of the story - I know I'm going to hate the story.

Enlightenment at last! Thank you.

Now I know why I wait forever in the lingerie department while my wife chooses her new bra. Although she 'knows' her measurements and occasionally she checks with my help with the tape measure, manufacturers seem to have their own idea of what her size is. Until she checks with her own tape measure she wouldn't know whether her band size equates to that stated on the packaging.

Back to describing breasts without statistics...

One comment - men seem to understand the convention of what is intended by a mention of 38DDs even if those measurements are meaningless. It is a code that conveys a picture to some males' imagination.

Og

But I'm glad I stayed for the ride - I loved it!

I do agree with oggbashan though, I have seven younger brothers, and believe me men have a sort of inbuilt impression of what bra sizes in erotic stories equate to in breast appearance.

BTW, do you ever remember seeing a size less than 38 quoted? Or a cup size less than D?

For those interested in further scientific research, I can recommend two web sites.

www.85b.org/ and look at their bra size converter. It tells me my Aussie 18D equates to US 40D, UK 40DD, European/Jap 90E, Belgium/Spain/France 105E and Italy/Czechoslovakia 5E.

So, as elfin says - go figure!

Also a very good site with all you will ever need to know about breasts, done in same tone as elfin's great treatise is:

www.pukka.net/snotsykims/

Thanks again elfin - loved it!

The italicized text in the beginning made no sense and neither did the vast majority of what I read, which wasn't much considering I wanted to bash my brains in from the moment the torture began.

I agree with much of what you said. Still, for those of us more full-figured women, the straps are just as vital as the band.

;)

I started reading "Politics of Women's Bodies" by Rose Weitz and was able to link the information here with the subject matter in the book. Isnt this interesting and extremely well written piece of information adding to all the feminist arguments? It also shows that we the humans base our judgments more on fantasies than on facts!!! Bravos for being a woman all the way and showing it.

This is a very clever, well-written piece.

I especially agreed with the following, as numerous times it has been a source of endless frustration:

"You take your top off and put on a well-fitting, soft bra. Catch-22 again; if you've already got a well-fitting bra, why are you doing this measuring lark? Doh!"

I thought this article was great and I hope male authors take it to heart. I've worked as a lingerie fitter so I'm familiar with all the wackiness and weirdness of bra sizes and shapes out there...and I've lost count at the number of times a bra size appears in a story I'm reading and BANG there goes my frisky mood because I know that when a man writes that a girl was a 32D, he probably is picturing something a lot bigger than I am. Bravo elfin_odalisque!

I read this article because:-

1. It won a prize!

2. I love tits to bits!

3. I became fascinated from the first line. Why?

Because I agree that there is no bigger turn off in a story to read 'her 38C breasts', partly because I can't visualise any size and also it is definitely not arousing, or desciptive or even remotely sexual.

I totally agree that breasts, tits, jugs etc. etc. should be described with imagination. I try to visualise my heroine(s) by height, colouring and age and then attempt to mount those gorgeous mounds of flesh, with wonderful nipples and aureoles on the body that I have created. I admire your dedication to search for knowledge and enlightenment in this subject. I would have volunteered to be your assistant! If there is a petition to ban cup sizes from stories count me IN!!!

No promises, but I'm going to TRY to avoid using bra sizes in my future stories.

(I've already stopped using clothing sizes.)

I would never had found you if you had not made a comment on a new submission by deSADE,I am very glad you did.I really loved this and will gradually read all of your srories.I love a good laugh and more to the point I love a good story about t--s.

I have struggled with bra sizes all of my life. I am a "woman with breasts that preceed me into the room by a good five minutes", my bra size varies according to style, cut, and manufacturer. Thanks for stating what SHOULD be obvious. I find nothing worse than men who feel they MUST know my bra size.

I agree with what you say in the article whole-heartedly and I also believe that using bra sizes is NOT a good way to describe a girl's boobs. On the other hand, I believe that when most people read a 'bra size description' (say 38d for example) they understand that the author is describing a girl with large boobs. Sure it doesn't tell a reader much about the shape, mass, volume (or whatever you want to call it) of the boobs because it's not being described adecuately by the author, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Allow me to explain. Some people (like myself) prefer to imagine the shape and overall look of the boobs rather than it being described in too much detail. It allows the reader to imagine the type of boobs that turn him/her on as opposed to being told by the author what the boobs look like. A good example of what I mean is the description you used in the article of your boobs, which you say are not the same size. Well as a reader, I'd prefer to read your bra size and imagine your boobs to be the same size than not read your bra size and have your boobs described to me in detail. Just another point of view.

I'm of the small boobed variety & I loved this article! Its too true. I could be described a 34A or even 34AA (UK sizes, depending on manufacturer) but that doesn't do me justice! My boobs (and yes, boobs is my favourite word for 'em!) may be tiny by some standards but they are milky white, nice pink, raisin-esque nipples, areola darker pink and perfectly proportioned, sit nice and high and they aren't droopy or saggy at all! I've never had a complaint ;). I hate when stories mention bra-sizes, because as you rightly pointed out it leaves no room for imagination and also because bra sizes mean nothing!

Why can't bra makers just have some sort of standardised fit??? I tried to have mine measured once (just outta curiousity cos normally the smallest cup size the have is the one I'm looking for haha) and although they measured the band width, the told me they 'didn't measure cup sizes' and I could 'try on a few to find the best fit'. ????? Why waste time getting measured then? This is why I HATE bra shopping, now don't confuse that with me hating my boobs cos I definitely don't, but Jesus, if I wasn't worried about my nipples on show at work I wouldn't even bother wearing a bra! -Another great bonus about having tiny boobs, not necessary to wear a bra and hey, they'll never sag!

Anyhoo, sorry about the rant, your article just stirred me up and I had to get it off my chest (hur hur)

Cheers!

WHERE is this article in all of preteen's "growing up guides" that illustrated the minute details on how to arrive at "your" bra size? As a woman, I wasn't expecting to learn anything from this article than some descriptive words I forgot I knew. Years of confusion in Victoria's Secret and other fine bra makers have suddenly become clear: I had been a slave to my salesgirl's proclamation of 38DD.

I feel like going bra shopping!

I thought I had the whole bra size thing down... 36 D means the measurement under the breasts is 36" and the largest measurement around the breasts themselves is 40"??

36 A one inch more

36 B two inch more

etc....The cup size indicates how much bigger the boobs are than the rib cage?

But that line of thinking only leads me to consider the old joke, what do you call the hair between a 90 year old woman's boobs? Her pussy. So does that 90 measure her hips to find a correct bra sizing?

Overall, I agree there are better ways to talk of the glands mammaries.

If you were a guy you would understand our need to know specifics on pieces of information we see as vital. When you mock the idea of a male writer mentioning a female character with 36DDs but not care about her waist or anything else, it ignores our very nature.

Most men will be "breast" or "ass" men. Few will ever say they are "waist" men where they need a certain size waist, being very specific, in order to turn him on. So any mention of her waist will get a generic description that sidesteps detailed information.

Sports stats,speed and horsepower an engine of a car has,heights of various objects,weight of various things of interest mainly when it comes to proving who can lift more. All of these things are statistics we will want to know. It helps us develop an decent understanding of what we are looking at or talking about. We will look at a sports car and want to know its top speed and 0-60mph but wont give a damn about the size of the cupholder, at least until we try and put our 200oz,$1, biggulp o doom into it and realize its the right size for a small coffee. If we hear what we see as being vital statistics we can appreciate what we are talking about or being told about.

a slender waist,narrow or full hips and long neck give us enough information without boring us with non-vital stats. Knowing the size of a female character's breasts gives us an idea of what we are really supposed to be imagining. This might go against the idea of leaving things to the readers imagination but at the same time we want to convey an image we see as writers. So the idea of the ladies wanting males to stop writing stats into their stories isn't going to work for us.

Its unlikely guys you know will say a woman was hot and not mention why and being specific. Most guys will in fact use hand gestures to indicate breasts size, attempting to get the right size down. Even our non-verbal communication attempts to give out statistics. Most guys will have a decent idea of the estimated size of a woman's breasts. Of course pushups, padding and for the curvier<my favorite> ladies out there, there are bras that attempt to conceal actual size. +/-1 cup size margin of error unless they are large enough where they are uncommon for that individual causing them a problem with estimating their size.

so its a cute idea to ask guys to stop writing in cupsize but its unnatural for us. I'm not reading on this site to find Politically Correct erotic stories. Your friend should burn her wonderbra on another site in futility. Guys want to read stories that are written in a way that is natural to us. So the mention of 36DDs isn't going away. Its just unrealistic for us.:)

Superbly funny! And actually, the left side (of the whole human body, foot, hand, breast) is larger because the right side of the brain is larger, and that's the side that controls the left side of the body. Or so I've been told. Humans are NOT semetrical, and we'd find a human who was perfectly semetrical to be odd-looking.

Everyone who has gone to the trouble of making a comment, and the depth of reflection - both male and female - makes me feel humble, I appreciate every word you say. Breasts are totemic - they define womanhood, male lust and are ignored in most erotic stories as being the hors d'oeuvre. Just thank you for reading me, enjoying the piece and - I hope - tninking a tad differently about boobies.

Everyone who has gone to the trouble of making a comment, and the depth of reflection - both male and female - makes me feel humble, I appreciate every word you say. Breasts are totemic - they define womanhood, male lust and are ignored in most erotic stories as being the hors d'oeuvre. Just thank you for reading me, enjoying the piece and - I hope - tninking a tad differently about boobies.

Am I the only male on Lit who neither knows what his partner's measurements are, nor cares? All I know is that she is gorgeous and she turns me on. (As other women do also, sometimes.) In all my stories there are no measurements of bodyparts, not will there ever be. But I hope there are arousing DESCRIPTIONS.

Numbers do lie and this was a great post. While this is not my blog, I found it informative and hope others will enjoy learning about the mental optical illusion bra size creates.

http://theprettyyear.com/2009/06/24/size-chart-woes-the-naked-truth-about-bra-sizes/

Love your humor!

After going with my wife who was bra shopping, I'm as confused as ever. She wanted a particular color, type of fabric, lift?, underwire, and type of fastener. Said she wore a 38C, but when she tried one on, it was too tight. No others available in what she wanted. Another store, and another brand, had something similar to what she wanted, but a 36B worked, and she went home with that. When I go to the men's store to buy a belt for a 36-inch waist, I don't waste my time trying the 34-inchers, or the 38-inchers. Why do women's clothing manufacturers make it so darned difficult? Good article.

this is a handy guide and i will try to use it in my writing in future. The reason i write in cup sizes is because i have the picture in my head of 32-34b's being small and anything with a DD at the end as being big. i dont know if other writers agree or not.

PS sorry for including sizes

There was a lot that I learned here. Thanks for the interesting info.

I have just preferred the standard small, medium, and large with such supplementary terms as perky, firm, etc. Also going along with it could be a description of the woman's frame.

I agree--too much is made of the number and letter description. When I see boobs described this way, I just take it as a relative expression of size and move on. Whether a gal is 38 C, 38 D, or 38 DD doesn't matter--all those sizes are large--and 32 B and 32 C are small.

Of course, I'm not a breast man, but that's another story.

Keep it simple.

Steve

I;m a man and I want to read numbers, wrong or otherwise. tell me how to guess yer bra size and we'll talk. Otherwise, this is silly whining from a woman with small breasts

Absolutely Fabulous!

I loved reading every word. It made me laugh so hard my cat came over to see what was going on. I too have always hated stories that have stated what the author thinks sounds like an impressive breast size and never actually get around to reading past the 00XX part! My favourite line here was about the "cotton Alcatraz". Thank you for this lovely writing!

I already knew most of that, but as a confirmed breast fetishist, I still like reading about it... thanks for going into so much detail.

No one has mentioned the thing that bugs me the most- an author who uses bra sizes, but has NO IDEA what they mean. I can't tell you how many stories I've read that describe a woman as something like "petite and slender, with 40DDs".

I guess they think higher number = bigger breasts, but a woman who is truly a 40 is either very muscular or carrying quite a few extra pounds, and is probably pretty tall too.

On a woman who really is petite and slender, a pair of 32Cs would look big.

You did a wonderful job of describing the world of bra sizes. Light-hearted, breezy, and humorous. I will quibble about band sizes not changing. As one loses weight, fat on the rib cage is also lost, thereby causing a smaller measurement there, and, conversely, as one gains weight, additional fat around the rib cage will cause a larger measurement.

The point I especially appreciated was about breast enhancement, but from the other direction. I had breast reduction surgery about 10 years ago, and people ask what my bra size used to be or how many cup sizes I went down. Weight-wise, the surgeon removed 11 pounds (US) of tissue. Pretty dramatic! Cup size? Not so much. The result, though, is my breasts went from hanging baskets with nipples pointing downwards, to lovely half cantalopes. Frankly, it's much easier to find bras that fit, whatever their size, and are pretty.

Anyway, thanks!

I loved it! I have been wondering for the longest time what my bra size is & I have still not figured it out. Last year I wore 38B & got along some what uncomfortably with & I was somewhat horrified when a helpful sales clerk at wachol, told me I was suffocating myself & I was actually a 38D!. I dint sleep all too easy that night. Visions of my husband or colleagues calling the ambulance, to review me was all I could think off. I longed for the days gone by, when I was a barely there 32B. Now after trying on umpteen bra's in one day. 31, infact, I swear! I found A 36D fits me well. The circumference of 38 is just too loose. I did what any smart woman would do. I bought a dozen of those things. I am franking afraid to think of my next venture into 'bradom'. So if we women dont know what we measure, how do these male authors know? Maybe their day job would be to become the Bra sales clerks. Life would be so simple for us ladies :)

I meant revieve , not review. LOL

I have to admit I didn't read the whole text, because I just have to commen on the paragraph where you talk about finding one's bra size. There really is A LOT of misinformation out there, so I'd like to make a few points a little clearer. Most importantly, no matter what any Victoria's Secret employee tells you, DO NOT add anything to your underbust measurement! You want to measure tightly around your ribcage and then round DOWN to the nearest even number. This is your band size, which is, in fact, in inches (or cm in Europe)! Then you need to figure out the cup size. For this, you measure around the widest part of your breasts, either in a good bra or naked, because an ill-fitting bra might distort the shape of the breasts and lead to incorrect measurements. Then you substract your band size from this measurement to get the cup size. I think it's 1" difference = A-cup, 2" = B-cup, but personally, I use an online calculator because it's so much easier. I recommend this one: http://www.atlastravel.nazwa.pl/mini/ You may want to go up a band size if you are used to too loose bands. And of course you will still need to try on different bras because cup size etc can vary from manufacturer to manufacturer or even depending on what style of bra you try on. An important thing to look for when trying on is the band: it should sit horizontal around the ribcage and NEVER ride up in the back (if it does, it is too loose).

lqtm I've always thought guys just like to label things. Perhaps it's my military fascination/preoccupation/background, but chest measurements always reminded me of the alpha-numerics assigned to military hardware, like the B17, F86, & M16. Maybe the ladies intimate garment industry should switch to the Dewey decimal system, now that libraries aren't using it! (by the by, it struck me funny that the captha for this is "DDD1" XD)

I'd log in to leave this comment, but spy names & secret passwords are the bane of my existence, & I've quite forgotten mine. If the whim strikes you please reply to me at pemigewasset68@gmail.com

Brilliant! I have to admit that whatever the shape, whatever the size, whatever the elevation, I love them all, but where confusion existed as to sizes, this confusion has now been replaced by total confusion! Very, very well written and as I said at the beginning, brilliant!

Thank you! You are doing a great service that will benefit all of Literotica. I never read through stories that start with measurements. They immediately get "back" clicked. If someone is so unimaginative as to think numbers are sexy, the rest of the story is sure to disappoint.

Fellas, listen to the lady, she's got it right.

The way that has worked the best for myself is to measure my ribcage, and take it as gospel (although I like the point of trying both above and below the boobs) for my bandsize. I then measure the way around my boob. Singular. From where it attaches on the side, over the nipple, to where it attaches in the middle. Based upon THAT measurement, I get use a chart (I think Bravissimo has a decent one) that will give me a cup size, because a 2" deep cup may be an A, a B or who knows what depending upon the band size. And so, I am a 30D/32C depending upon the bra, and sometimes the time of the month.

The other thing is that my ex-fiance is an expert bra-fitter and CAN tell a bra size by appearance. He can also tell what size bra they are actually wearing and why it's a bad size for them. This isn't his job, but he approached it like an engineering problem and "figured" out bras. His current partner is a 34G on a 5'3" frame, poor thing.

Anyway, I took objection to your comment about no man being able to tell what bra size is what. :-P But it was beautifully written anyway. And there was a lot of new information for me to boot!

LOL

Anyhoo, It is something that I have always believed in but could never put my finger on the how's and why's. Kudos on your doing so.

For reference, I believe you add 5" because of the overlap round back. This would be proved out if a bra that secures in the front didn't suggest adding any measurement. Subsequent mfrs would say to add only 3" (or whatever) if there was a smaller overlap for the hooks to secure in the back.

I've never bought a bra, and hopefully never will, but I believe that is why they vary that.

A pleasant read through.

On a side note, I had a somewhat similar creative concept once of making a story so nondescript, that a black man would read it as all the women were thick black hunnies, while a white guy would read they were white twiggies, and a Spanish guy would see lush latin beauties, you get the idea, I'm sure.

The trouble was I didn't believe myself capable of being that obscure and yet still define what would allow the reader to fill in the rest with their own fertile imagination.

Mostly because hair color is usually described in some way and saying curly black hair invokes some to think Black or Latin while straight blonde hair usually would denote a white woman. Not ALWAYS true, but that's the stereotype.

My point is, using your fruit terms as generic modifiers would fulfill allowing the reader to guess how big or small the breasts are, but hair color can't be considered as generic.

...or maybe there is a fruit based hair color generic identifier I have not thought of yet?! XD

Though I recognize statistics and value them when I read playboy, I've not used breast sizes in my stories to date and never planned to use them otherwise!

SOLD!

You made me laugh so hard my eyes started to water. thank you for a truly good read <3

Wife and I had a discussion just recently about bra sizes and I was a little surprised to find out that she needed to get a new one, a DD. For some reason, I always have this mental image of some poor gal that would give herself black eyes if she tried to play basketball. Not someone that would just fill my hand. (Obviously, I didn't share THAT observation with HER.)

However, it got me to thinking about my own writing and my reading preferences. Typically, I tend to shy away from anything that smacks of statistical analysis or an algebra problem. "If GirlA has a 42DD chest and GirlB has a 36A, which one would be more likely to handle the 24in long 12in diameter sausage in BoyA's pants?"

Any rate, I stumbled across this submission and the sense of humor caught me immediately. I enjoyed your style immensely and the topic, research, and conclusions were definitely thought provoking. I propose that from now on we only use "2OMG" for every bust, boobie, bosom, bazongas, chichis, etc.

Thanks for the laugh. And for the thoughts.

And you said it so well - Thanks :)

Impressed by your humorous writing style.

You didn't even enjoy mention that Jockey brand has a whole different sizing system, numbered instead of lettered. You also measure circumference. They supply a bunch of plastic forms, and you try each one on a boob to see which size cup fits best. Then you try a couple of different size bras anyway to see which fits.

"Similarly, cup size is as far from a science as most politicians are from reality."

Got a good chuckle out of this :)

Thank you for the great article, by the way! Such a fun read!

You only once mentioned the 'silver dollar' tendancy in the description of areolae. Not being American, this baffles me, and I wonder why so many American writers of erotic fiction (male, most probably) repeat this hackneyed image. Then I get to see various denominations of US currency -- dime nipple on a dollar areola -- which made me wonder if the author sorts through 'his' change while undressing a woman. It does make me want to write a story with a woman with long, thin nipples on generous areolae upon which could be threaded two or three Tang Dynasty bronze cash. Yes, America, the Chinese are coming! The latest read was a wonderfully warm, sexy story, but inexplicably had a woman with areolae the size AND SHAPE of credit cards! American Express or Diners' Club?

Too complicated for me. I'm gonna stick with my 'Handful Size.'

and from reading/skimming the comments:

- women like something different in their erotic stories than men.

- women and men, generally, disagree how an erotic story should be written.

- women and men have a completely different sense of humor.

- women and men have different perspectives of a woman's body.

- women and men are aroused by dissimilar written erotic.

To summarize: women and men are different. Now, THAT, truly is a shocking revelation, (sarcasm intended).

This is a great article. While it is primarily about breast size, it also makes me think about using descriptive words versus hard, cold facts unless they are pertinent to the plot. Doing as you suggest for not only breasts but for many other things will allow the reader's imagination go wild, conjuring up images they believe fit the descriptions.

Brilliant article, droll, witty, and dare I say it, tongue in cheek. But it also raises serious issues of fact and style that most certainly made me think. Tha.nks very much indeed

Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic rather than a sexual organ. Fascination with breasts is largely cultural. The author delivers a good teasing to a male audience but never does explain the cup sizes and how they were figured. Certainly the author knew how to entrance male listeners and avoid answering the stated question..

you need to add pictures. And charts.

as fascinating as an F1 engine discussion!

(hint: not at all)

While the writing of this was probably cathartic for you, I started yawning halfway through the first page. Great; I come to a n erotic website to listen to another woman complain about men. How about you do what you like, and we will not complain. Just please let us have something the way we like, that is not dictated by a woman, OK?

Most of the time when I see bra/boob sizes mentioned in a story it doesn't register on me, or interfere with enjoying a fun story.

But it the character has is 38DD breasts, 5' tall, and 100 pounds...its obvious the author is not familiar with women.

I also don't notice when sizes are mentioned because different brands fit differently. A 36D bra in one brand may fit as well as a 38C in a different brand.

Invariably, if the story has a female character with 40DD breasts, who fucks like a mink and gets turned on to the point of dripping...she is going to be shaved bare and the male character will have a 12 inch penis and be able to come 6 times a session. I skip those stories as soon as I figure that out

thanks for a humorous story