by iqespresso
You have a poem that's almost a song lyric and you tell a good story inside it. I enjoyed reading it.
My personal opinion is that a good editor could only help improve this poem for me as a reader or you could add it to the construction thread (literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=254058) at the Poetry Feedback and Discussion Forum on the Bulletin Boards here at Literotica.
read, it just flowed off my tongue. i loved it thanks for sharing
TT
Just a beautifully written group of verses with metaphors all about the May December Romances.
I have read all your works and will read them again, and barely legal I am
I am a new writer and you inspire me. Thank you for sharing this with the world!
The poem is clinical, filled with statements,. There is very little for the imagination to grab hold of. I see a person making observations and they are not coming out very poetic. You can and have done so much better. This is a sad disappointment.