All Comments on 'Sister Loving Brother Loving Sister'

Fix the point or view. I didn't read it. Too confusing

Decent story but terribly written and left feeling un finished

The random commas make this story entirely unreadable. You can't punctuate simply by throwing darts at the page.

You really need to learn the difference between direct and indirect quotations. Here's a hint: Direct quotes use quotation marks. Indirect quotes do not.

Look it up before you write any more dialogue, please.

i hope there is more to be added to this