All Comments on 'When You're Near Me'

by StormyNite

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  • 241 Comments
SEVERUSMAXSEVERUSMAXover 17 years ago
This will be mentioned on the AH.

This was a very hot lesbian story. The tag described it well. It's a lesbian romance. While I might be a cynic at times, I find the romantic aspect a refreshing one, especially after the clear frustration that Ashley expresses in her essay. There is no question that these two women not only desire each other, but love each other very much. One finds oneself rooting for them to work out.

It is also very sexy, and I'd have to give this one a 5. Men will like the lesbian sex between two lovely women and women will like the romance between two people completely in love. While there is nothing wrong with casual sex and stroke stories (I've written several myself), there is also nothing wrong with this passionate, more sentimental type of erotica. Warning: it's 20 some Lit pages long, but it's worth the read if you have any spare time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Outstanding!!!

An unbelievable story. It kept me captivated until the very end, not to mention the tears that I shed. I absolutely loved it. Thank you for sharing it!

mugidoazulmugidoazulover 17 years ago
wonderful!

a lovely story; well worth the read

Evil AlpacaEvil Alpacaover 17 years ago
Them's a lot of words!

Okay, you used more words than even I am used to, and that's saying something. Except for wishing that it had been broken into multiple chapters / submissions for easier reading, I absolutely loved this story. I do wish I knew what happened with Breanna, Morgan and Ashley, but that hardly a major concern.

This is the story for those of us who want to like and know our characters. It is the type of story for those who want it all to actually mean something. And it is definitely a story for those of us who actually like romance. Bravo!

silverace1silverace1over 17 years ago
Such a love!

I almost felt honoured to share in this ever so special love story! As a tale of romance between two individuals as they come to terms with their true feelings in a world filled with fear and outright maltreatment of gays and lesbians, it spins a tale so real it truly strikes a cord. My extensive experience with the world of gays and lebians has taught me a respect all as God's people. We are all the same and should be respected as such.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
A beautiful story

Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful story. I enjoyed every word, every moment of your characters.

I do hope to see more of your work. Thank you again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Outstanding!!!!

This was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. The characters were so real. It was just so loving and it all made you feel the love they had for each other. I applaud your writing skills and wait to read anything and everything you care to post.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
great

loved it

TE999TE999over 17 years ago
A Compelling Experience

This is a truly superior example of erotic storytelling. Reading this story was more like watching a film. Excellent dialogue and character development. Kudos to you StormyNite!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
best writing

this story is one of the best things i have ever read please write more

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Touching

Touching and well done, particularly in the manner that the story was dragged out (meant in a complimentary way). At times the dialog was a bit confusing. Suggest you find alternatives to "the blond" etc. But a relatively minor point and very affecting even so. Readers who liked this also might like the following:

The Shy Girls by Chris

My Friend Casey by Chris

Angela by Destinie21

Meeting Destiny by Renzajones

Jacqueline & Diane by Heels Lover

A Benign Something by jtmalone70

Scents of Heaven by Penelope Street

Most of these will be on Literotica Some might be in the Lesbian section of nifty.org

JAgirlJAgirlabout 17 years ago
Well Done!!!

I really liked the story, I liked how the story line flowed

and you didn't cheapen it w/ tawdry sex. Only one criticism - don't keep saying the blond or brunette we already had the characters names. Other than that it was a fantasic read.

PoutineFanPoutineFanover 16 years ago
Simply Beautiful :)

Amazing. One of the longest stories I've ever read on Lit, and also one of the best. I love the character development... great work ^_^

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Thank you

Beautiful. Thank you for not submitting just a cheap sex story. Do write more. (: And yes, find more substitute for the blond and brunette. lol

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
amazing story

I liked all of your stories but this one was amazing. It is soo romantic. It is wonderful to have a romance to read!

Thank You for all your hard work. You have written my favorite story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Amazing

Thank you for writing this story, this is by far the best story I've read on literotica. You've truly created characters that feel real. I think you should seriously consider getting this published in a book. I hope you'll write a sequel at some point :)

knightofheartsknightofheartsalmost 16 years ago
A Love Supreme

Said Coltrane, enough said says I^^.

SyrsonSyrsonover 15 years ago
The best I ever read!!!

This story is the longest and the best I read here on Literotica!!!

I come back and read it over and over and over...

If you're only looking for sexstories-go away!

This is true love at it's best!!!

I guess I'm kind of jealous 'ccause I don't have such a great love in my life... but now I know what to look for!!!

Read this story, please... even if it's long it's time well spent!!!

Syrson.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
the best!

this is the best story that ive ever read! gosh.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Sumptuous!

Glad that this ain't another bloody sleazy dull story! Really like this, makes me wanna read more and more. I'll raise all my thumbs to you. Keep on writing good stuffs! Gawd, I'm in love with Jessie! ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Two Thumbs Up for This Story !

it's a wonderful story. i can not stop read it, and i read it over and over again. it's not just about sex, i mean i read many lesbian stories, but it's always about sex ( a quickie-cheap sex stories. but this is different. you talked about love, feelings, somethings that others authors forget to describe in their stories. (They only remember the sex part and exploit it, which i hated so much. seems like a lesbian to do is only about sex. well, we don't) the characters you created, feel so alive. it really touches my heart. if only i can find that kind of love (or let it find me)....oh i just can dream about it. well, i hope one day i can really find my real love, just like jessie and ashley. k

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Fantastic

Well written romantic love story. The emotional connection of the characters is captured very well and the lack of graphic physicality makes for a refreshing read. 5/5

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
beautiful

this is an amazing story..such good writting, pls keep it up,

HawaiianEhuGirlHawaiianEhuGirlabout 14 years ago
FAVORITE

one of my favorite stories..I read this all the time and I cant get enough of it...

VampyreKittyKatVampyreKittyKatabout 14 years ago

I like this. It was very romantic, and I often said to myself "Will they ever get together?" I was happy that they did. I thought the sex scene's could have been a little more descriptive, I like stories that have a good balance of romance and lust, that make my heart ache as well as turning me on. But i loved the romance of this. Good job.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Amazing

I know that a lot of stories on here are all about getting to the sex as fast as possible. But I like the stories with back round, and that are written with heart. This is one of those stories. I love the long ones and I think this is the best one I have ever read. I loved all the characters. Thank you. I hope that you write more in the future, because I will be reading it

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Very romantic, very sensual, Excellent

Long, very romantic, very sensual, not much sex. I think this is erotica from a womans point of view. Guys, pay attention!

Very good very well written. Excellent.

LiveCatLiveCatover 13 years ago
Truly wonderful

I've never read a story and ended up really caring about the characters before, marvelous!

AJAustenAJAustenover 13 years ago
The best

So far this is the best story I've read. I really loved it. Thanks for writing it.!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Oh. My. God.

I've been reading on this site casually for about 3 years now and I have never ever been compelled to leave a comment. Until now.

You're a gifted writer and your story is one of the most compelling and touching romantic stories I've read in my live. So please, please, please...write more!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

One of the best if not the best story i have read.

rainbowsmmrainbowsmmover 13 years ago
Beautiful

Very well written. The transitions throughout their relationship were realistic very becoming of the emotional states they were both in. Once I started I couldn't stop until I got to the end. Beautiful love story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Truly Fantastic

Simply wonderful that was... I could not stop reading for the life of me. You have a writing talent!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

i've been on both sides...fearing pda...and also the one hurt because of her fears. i couldnt stop reading this story. i am very glad i read it from start to finsh. congrats on a happy ending

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Absolutely Wonderful !!!

I have never left a comment for the numerous stories I've read on this site ... until now. Although it was probably the longest story I've ever read, it was also the most wonderful story I've ever come across. Once I started, I couldn't stop until I got to the end. I enjoyed it so much that I've probably read the whole thing 5 times already. Please continue to write as you clearly have many fans according to all the comments written. You are truly talented and I hope to read a new story from you very soon.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

just let me say that i never comment on a story, but to this, u deserve high praise...truly a magnificent story, long but absolutely magnificent..i will most definately be looking for more of your stories

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
BEAUTIFUL

i like another have never left a comment yur story was near perfect. i uselly dnt read the long ones. but i couldnt help myself. the only fault was the sex. there first time shouldve been in

Great detail. the best scene

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Loved it!

Really loved your story. Like some of the others i tend to stay away from the long stories but yours kept me hooked and it was well worth reading the 23 pages (even if it did take me til 5am to finish it) :-) Well done - Caz

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

One of the most amazing love stories between two women I've read, it reminded me a great deal of myself, a truly outstanding story.

tammy1892tammy1892almost 13 years ago
one of the best!!!

The story has been written really well. The story develops slowly and steadily. One of the best lez romances ever written. I read this story quite often.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Breath taking

I couldn't take my eyes away from the story. I was riveted. Thank you for allowing us the pleasure of sharing such a beautiful and very fulfulling story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Wow

That was amazing. I couldn't take my eyes off the story and I truely loved the way every detail was written. Justed loved it <3

Looking forward to see more from you :) Keep it up :-)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
LOVED IT!!

Thank you for such a sweet story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Honestly

This is now my favorite story on this site, if not my favorite story anywhere. I love it so much. I really want something like this for myself... and somehow I draw courage from this story, even if it is fictional. Thank you for writing such a sweet and wonderful story. I took every word to heart.

NixieStixNixieStixalmost 13 years ago
Thank you

Thank you for the amazing story! I loved your characters and the story and the way you write! I loved getting lost in your very real story and I loved feeling all you made me feel. Well worth a lost night of sleep ;]

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
No Truer Love Story

WOW - I have read many great love stories over the years, but yours stirred the emotions in me that I haven't felt in years. It takes me back to when my partner and I of 17 years met and fell in love. It also reminds me to not take the love of my life for granted and to remember to always say I love you. Thank you so much!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
awesome

i've been in love... been in a relationship but i never have this kind of emotion... this story made me wonder if i did really been in love or meet my soulmate though right now i'm in a relationship... it made me think if this kind of story really does exist then made me want, dream and wish to have this kind of feelings when being with someone...

i love the story... well done...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

what an amazing story, the way you write is just fantastic

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Slow burner but hot!

So at times I thought you got a bit carried away with your similes and metaphors and, as has been written before, the continual reference to established protagonists by their hair colour was a little bizarre/repetitive (even Charles Dickens didn't do that!) this story is HOT! I loved the development, the angst, the "will they wont they" thread and when they did...it was erotic not pornagraphic - well done. A fine read and almost unique on this site.

AsmrtkidAsmrtkidalmost 13 years ago
Thoughtful

It was confusing introducing all the people at once ad saying hair color. Other than that, I loved it! I've never been in love, but I can only hope that this what it would feel like.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
inspiring

i loved this just read the whole thing on a rainy afternoon, i am i love and i can relate to the feeling in this story they were described brilliantly, im writing a noval at the moment and u have inspired me i hope to see more of your stuff. thanks for sharing

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Wow

i really liked this story, you should become a professional writer, I will admit that I had tears in my eyes on more than one occasion.

tina24tina24almost 13 years ago
indeed an inspiration!

it touched my life! I would say I'm still not open with my sexuality, it's still the skeleton in my closet, but if I find my true love I would defenitly be proud of who I am and who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. I hope your gonna make more of this kind of stories,you'd make a difference!

Ex0ticPrincessEx0ticPrincessover 12 years ago

WOOOWW.

This was beyond amazing.

Loved that it was a long, romance story.

Makalya Rose is the best dog ever.

I love Andrew, best little brother ever.

jessicaj64jessicaj64over 12 years ago
Simply wonderful

For this one story, this story alone, there needs to be the option of six stars. This is not "one of the best" it is, quite simply, the best.

If this is all purely fiction, you are a wonderful writer with a remarkable knack of telling a compelling story. If there is just one iota of truth to it, you are still a wonderful writer, and I'm so glad that Ashley and Jessie found each other and love, and hope that they (you?) remain devoted to each other.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
woo!

dayum this could be a book!

well probably not a book, little to graphic for that,

still, its the longest and most well established story i have ever read on this or any site were do you get the time to make these wonderful things?

BADsoldierBADsoldierover 12 years ago

That was beautifully written 6/5 I know not possible but I would if I could.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
eh,

i loved it but the middle sortof felt like a repeated scene playing over and over, they always go out some place, the tension high, but nothing happens... that same scene was just repeated way more times than needed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Great Read

A great story well thought out. I only have one gripe and that is your constant referance to 'the blond and brunette.' I really found this annoying and it broke the flow of the story. Otherwise brilliant I loved it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Wow!!! That is even too small a word for this wonderful story. I have read this a few times now. It never fails to bring a tear to my eye or that ache in my chest. I want to thank you for writing this story for us. You are an amazing writer. I wish you had more of these stories. My all-time favorite.

TalonsreachTalonsreachover 12 years ago
Classic

This is a story is a classic love story. The love here should be a must-read for anyone considering relationships, no matter what their gender.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Kind of a waste of time..

there was NO sex, a lot of passionate kissing and touching but it never really got into detail with them having hot sex. kind of a waste of time on my part and all you others hoping to read about them having sex. just warning you before you read 20 some pages of softcore.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
really good story

i enjoyed reading your story. as another posted commented i kinda disliked the approach you took with the naming the blonde one and brunette one. it was used way to much and kinda distracted from what the story was about.

suplupsuplupover 12 years ago
Hey Dick

The Anon who said this story was a waste of time because there was no sex, what the hell do you expect from a 23 page story, half of it to be sex? There's this thing called a plot, and half sex would have ruined this one. Literotica.com was made for that, erotic literature, not pornographic. That means that it does not need to be graphic, or even go into extreme detail, it needs to have some sexual connotation though. This story is amazing, how it isn't in the Top 10 is beyond me, even the blond/brunette thing isn't enough to give this story anything less than a five. Anon, if you are looking for a 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' story, don't look in the hall of fame, they're mostly romantic in nature.

Good day sirs

SpudnickSpudnickover 12 years ago
Thanks

This is my all time favorite story on this site. This is my 3rd time reading it and its still amazing. Just wanted to thankyou for giving me a chance to read this. =)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
you are missing the whole point

For the ding dong who complained about no sex,you are missing the point. The story was about true heart stopping, breathtaking perplexing love, this story hit a nerve as i have found mine. I hope one day anon finds theirs, because without that soulmate that part of you that has always been missing life is only half lived.

To the auther. . . THANKYOU

AffairAffairover 12 years ago
XD

Adorable story with awesome characters :D

I love krista and like Andrew and makayla :)

Slow buildup but it gives the effect of about 150 pages in 23.

Not a sex story, it's a story that has love. Possibly the corniest sex I've ever read XD So if you're in the mood to read a sweet story, read this.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
amazing!

this story was so fucking amazing. when i read it i could feel the love between these characters. i am glad you didnt put any sex scenes because it would have ruined the whole thing. this story was about one thing. love.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
RE: Sex

While I can appreciate a story about love and emotions, I've gotta say that this is not the place for it. This is a site meant for erotic literature - hence "literotica."

If your story doesn't actually incorporate erotica, then you should have a disclaimer at the beginning to that effect (EvilAlpaca states at the beginning of each chapter that his/her stories are wordy and involve a lot of plot but even they have sex scenes throughout). It's misleading. I got 17 pages in (15-16 chapters - which is a lot!) and they haven't so much as kissed. And then the issue with Breanna and her being a jerk -- and even the Shae story line -- hasn't even been touched on since, and nothing about this interaction had any sort of lasting effect on their relationship if their familiar yet detatched interactions at the following sporting even was any indication. So why was it even included in the narrative?

For such a lengthy story, it doesn't feel very well planned out and is nothing like what I expect from this site. The effort and time put into it is appreciated, though I'm sticking to my belief that this isn't the particular forum for it.

13turtle1313turtle13over 12 years ago
Hope

This story gives me hope that one day I too can find someone to fall in love with so that I will be able to overcome some of the fears that were in this story, I have read it at least 6 times. Thank you for sharing .

TheRealThinggTheRealThinggover 12 years ago
beautiful story !

i loved your story because it was a slow burn , i know this is a erotica website . but you didn't rush to the sex , you let us get to know Jessie & Ashley . & it made it better when they finally made love .

misaki001misaki001over 12 years ago
Where can I listen to this song

I really wanto listen to this song does anyone know where I can find it? I alreay tried to google it >_<

MartinimanMartinimanover 12 years ago


A perfect & heart touching story done in a spectacular fashion. This is a must read!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Awsome!

Now thats how to write a story. It was Awsome :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Amazing

I think i have fallen in love with Ashley and Jessie... I loved every moment of this story and felt quite sad when it came to an end. It just goes to show that if uu wait long enough uu will find the one uu are ment to be with. Thank you for writing this story and please write another :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Oh My God. Amazing.

At first I was hesitant, 23 pages is a long story on this site. I figured I'd read a few pages tonight, some more tommorow, a few the next day, ect. But no, you got me so hooked that I read the entire amazing story in one sitting. Three and a half straight hours of reading. You are a truly amazing author and this is one of the few stories that had me actually laughing and crying. I feel as if I've fallen in love with Ashley and Jessie over the past three hours. Now I'm sad because it's over. Amazing is really the only word to describe it. The love scenes were so intamite that I didn't even mind that they weren't the whole basis of the story.

Amazing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

You have spoiled every other story that isn't 23 pages of gorgeous love for me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
awesome

I was a bit hesitant at 23 pages, but I loved every minute of reading and was sorry to see the end. It will make me always look for the best love stories now!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
AMAZING

I loved this story, i dont like reading stories that are pure sex i like stories that have a plot and love and this i give an A+. I think you have a great talent with writing love stories and hope you write more in time.

From, A very happy reader :D

idrubloodidrubloodabout 12 years ago
So Beautiful

This was a wonderful tale of finding and falling in love. I really enjoyed the depth of it all. Good writing and please keep on writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Awesome!

I've always been a sucker for a good love story, much preferring those over short, strictly sexual stories. A hopeless romantic, I guess. In any case, this is one of the best stories I've had the pleasure of reading on this site. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Outstanding

This was a story of true love. Absolutely beautiful. I can't believe there wasn't a hint of sex for 22 pages, yet I read the whole thing in one sitting, enthralled by each and every word. This is a testament to your writing ability. Bravo! This is one of my favorites. :)

I did love your use of humor, and I literally laughed out loud when Jessie asked Ashley if she wanted to go grocery shopping! ~ L

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Fantastic

I really do prefer stories that begin with a good plot and build up to the sex scenes. I wish there had been more sexual scenes in this story, but it was truly amazing without them. It was one of the most beautiful and well-written stories I've seen on this site.

merce_gcmerce_gcabout 12 years ago
Absolutely fantastic

That was such a heart-warming story and I was surprised how much I enjoyed all 23 pages! I only have one little criticism - that you identified the characters by their hair colour a lot and after the first couple pages it became slightly irksome. But the beauty of your writing and the story mostly overshadowed :) I can't wait to read more of your work!

KathyFKathyFabout 12 years ago
* * * * * * * SEVEN STARS IS MY RATING !

This Is Truly A Fantastic Love Story. I Truly Love Reading It. I Found Myself Worried That Jesie & Ashley Would Continue To Let Their Fears Keep Them Apart.

To The Point That One Would Move Away To Avoid Confessing Her Love.

I Thank You For Reminding Me That True Love Is Possible, I Will Keep My Mind And My Heart Open In Hopes That I Will Find Her - My True Soul Mate !

Kisses

PalistusPalistusabout 12 years ago
amazing

Simply perfect... I loved the unique, romantic, suspenseful plot coupled with the perfect payout of sex near the end. I loved it so much, well worth the read, this will forever be among my top stories :)

chipcarverchipcarverabout 12 years ago
This so far is the best story I have read here on LIT.

Even though I am maleI have learned a great deal from this story. I could only wish to have found a love like you have written here. Your in depth insight into the process of finding and holding onto your best friend is just awesome. You are a very energetic and detailed writer. I hope you continue to write in this manor throughout your career.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
It's

The Best Story Ever in the world

There should be a second part cuz most stories just have how the main characters get together

Not how they live there lives together

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
amazingly amazing

This is definitely the best story I have read and I hope one day I'll find a love as strong as the love that was described in this story

TalonsreachTalonsreachalmost 12 years ago
Another classic love story

There are times I wish some of the great love stories on this site could find their way to the big screen. I would count this among those I furvently wish could make that journey. StormyNight, please keep writing and share with us mere mortals more of your stories.

Lisa_GoldLisa_Goldalmost 12 years ago
Romantic

I so loved the romance in this. So sensual, so dedicated, so warm.....LoVe is all we need.

It was well worth the long night i had just to finish reading this.

Just beautiful.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
(sighs contently)

I just love it. There's nothing more that I can say.

TheDoxenTheDoxenalmost 12 years ago
Wow..

All I can say is wow..I loved it. Longest story I've read on here and I loved every piece of it..Wonderful.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
should be in the top 10

This is one of the best, if not THE BEST stories that I have read on this site. It was lengthy but still managed to keep the reader interested the whole time.

slave_breakerslave_breakeralmost 12 years ago
O.M.G wow

This IS the best story i have ever read it was perfect in every way posible.There is so many good things i could say about this story. Pleace write more about these two love birds

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Good story!

Good story! Needs a little work with the writting itself. It seemed odd and a little confusing at times to refer to your characters by the color of their hair or their ages. With a little tweaking it is an awesome story. Good luck !

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
WOW!!!!!

Great story but when you refer to the main characters you need to use their names not by the color of their hair. I would read this story over and over again.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Great

Great story love it ...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Similar stories.

I loved how personal this piece was. It struck a romantic chord instead of the smuttier side of relationships usually expressed on this site. Does anyone know of stories similar to this?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
wow!

This story was the most amazing story I have ever read. Wow!! Its amazing!

Anonymous
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