by nataliamarie38dd
zzzzzzzzzzzz........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I agree with the last persons comment. Kind of boring and repetitious. need to concentrate on some spelling too, some words left out of the sentences. I think you need to write something that doesn't just get you off. write something that we will remember, not something that we would soon rather forget that we read. don't let these coments discourage you from writing though, you do have initiative. also, make the story more believeable.
You must lead a wonderfully sensual and exciting life. Who wouldn't want to spend time with you. Keep writing more chapters.....
We need it to slow down a bit and create a logical and sequential story line so there is logic. Please continue and keep expanding and intensifying the enormous excitement you have built. You are one of a kind here and we need you.
It's unfair I know.
This is a tit fucking story and I held back one star because I wanted more ass and cunt.
Biased of me I know. Loved what is there just wanted my own version of complete.