by seceretwriter
It was good, you just might want to work more on proofreading. Hope to see a continuation.
i liked it but u could have made the sex last alot longer thats all it laked
It reminded me of a guy where my wife works at who is fucking her but always wants her tight ass. When she asked him why? He replied because every time you walk by me at work I can say that ass is mine, I fucked it.
very much like my breaking in a sweetie - but run them through the spelling corrector - the mistakes make a reader lose attention to the yarn
Your story was very descriptive, but I feel that since this is an anal sex story, there should be more passion behind the sex as well. Make the reader feel the anxiety that Lara felt and also let the reader feel how Jacob felt while pleasuring her ass, as well as comming, etc.
My first time was very similar, minus the silk scarfs...damn! Lol...If only everyone could be so lucky to have their first experience like this one! Those who believe this to be so taboo would change their minds real quick!
I know I am being a downer after a good story but you should learn to spell especially when you say patients for patience and I know it is not a spell checker as one of the words was misspelled and would never passed a spell checker. Have someone read it over it took away from the story
nice story. enough reluctance to make it hot, but not so much that it's rape. keep up the good work.
Reading this story I want to feel the bloom on apricots, I want to feel the beeswing on rosé.
I couldn't get through the first paragraph, the spelling mistakes are atrocious. Please have someone proof read your writing. I'm sure its a good story but the spelling..oh the spelling... :(
this should be under non con he ignored her consent and her pain and tears
it was hot but still very wrong and kinda betrayal of trust
you dont love her you just wanted to be the first to pop her anal cherry
she is confused with the orgasm but surrendering her anal cherry to you doesnt guarrantee your loyality to her .you still might cheat her , sodomise other non willing girls since she had a orgasm she didnt slapped you right in the face
you aint married to her so you wont be held accountable for pain,her injuries,her welfare you are just a boyfriend who abused her thats it
you dont love her you just lusted her and she is stupid and naive enough to let an orgasm misled to give her submission to you
as i said it would have been hotter if she was even a lil bit intetested which she clearly wasnt
she should have left you and put an assault charge no matter how good it felt
Great job I absolutely love fucking a woman's ass and I do a lot....so.many woman enjoy cock in the ass and the ones that thought they didn't now take my cock in the ass
Larry Smith