All Comments on 'College Girl and Her Daddy'

Loved the premise, loved the sex scenes but I did notice a couple of issues. 1. Your co-ed is a freshman and presumed to be at least 18. This makes the father unbelievable as a 35 y/o without some explanation first. 2. Your narration flips back and forth from daughter to dad. Pick one and let them tell the story. Or write it as a dual story with each telling their side of the events. As I said though, a good first effort, keep writing. :)

I liked the story line, but the change of speaker, especially since it is in the first person, gets confusing. One minute the daughter is speaking, then without any warning, the speaker is the father... More than once I had to back up and say "Huh?" Otherwise i liked the story. If you do more, ( and you should ) pay more attention to who is speaking and give us some warning when the speaker changes.

This was a good story but you need to make sure you keep the point of view the same. It sounds like you kept changing back and forth and I had to re read a few times to understand who was saying what. But not bad for a first time.

Although confusing at times, still the Author makes an attempt at getting her story told in the best way she knows how. Perhaps the wonderful advice of the other Writers making comments here will help her clear up her problems and make her stories more clear and understandable. Good first effort!

Like the others, it was good but confusing from the point of views.

I didn't keep in mind that other people can not read my mind. When I was writing the story, I was just typing what I 'saw' in my head. However, I will revise the story and resubmit it so that future readers will have a better understanding from where I was coming from. I literally typed the story the day I imagined it...I did not write it ahead of time, which I'm sure was my mistake. I do thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

May encourage me to submit the fantasies I have about my father.

don't shift the point of view it's far too confusing

Just needs a little polish, a real diamond in the rough.

Really good story and look forward to reading more. keep up the good work ;)

I love the direct and "dirty" way you write- gets right to the point. Need to add more description and detail- make the sex drag out more. With your use of words that would be very erotic

wow great story the pov is fine but the adress of dad is the problem are we daddy or are we someone your telling the stor to. but the story wow it can cause a man to make a mess of them selves

Change in POV from second to third person (referring to Lexi's daddy as both "he" and "you") made a story that was potentially hot to slightly confusing

This story would have been great, but you shifted from 3rd person to 1st person, talking about "my dad" then talking like I'm your daddy. If you had been writing from the dads perspective, i would've never finished the story!

Great! Every dad should get to fuck his daughter(s) at least once, and after that first fuck, as many times as they can!

Your style of writing is pathetic!!

I love it. 5*