All Comments on 'zmp~ rock garden'

Art nice visuals but spell check honey... lol.. it helps with the flow of the poem.

du

There are typos. It's already been pointed out, so enough said. :)

I actually started to buy a rock garden kit. I thought it would be cool to have this little garden on my desk and maybe it would inspire some poetry. I see it has with you.

I don't really like "an endless sea of artistic possibilities." Maybe it's because of the phrase endless sea. A bit cliché. And artistic possibilities doesn't really add to the poem.

Now that I think about it... cut this poem in half!

Keep these lines but rework them to make it all fit together:

Granules of sand

harvest rows in meticulous miniature

stillness in perfectly rippled dunes

surrounding islands of stones

hand and rake over the Rock Garden

Du & WE make excellent points;

I've tried 3 times to read through this

And each time got hung up on the very first word ~ granules.

Still, it's loaded with excellent lines and phrases.

but I believe this poem is a little complicated in word choices. Perhaps pare down; make the beauty its 'zenplicity'.

Isn't interesting the things you can find in nature and apply it human instinct/thoughts? Good poem idea.

.........the Zen Master paints a peacceful image. Nice.

Tess

Grains of sand across a table's top

scattered from the box's fence

formed in meticulous miniature

stillness in perfectly rippled dunes

lapping isles of polished stones

in endless possibilities

from a finite sea

a place setting of Earth's lifeless beauty

hand and rake over the Rock Garden

Honestly I think it great hubris to rewrite somebody else's work, but as somebody else did it once already in these comments, I found it working in my mind. I hope you aren't offended. Only you know exactly what you were evoking, the rest of us only reflect.

Very lovely work. :)

Grains of sand across a table's top

scattered from the box's fence

formed in meticulous miniature

stillness in perfectly rippled dunes

lapping isles of polished stones

in endless possibilities

from a finite sea

a place setting of Earth's lifeless beauty

hand and rake over the Rock Garden

Honestly I think it great hubris to rewrite somebody else's work, but as somebody else did it once already in these comments, I found it working in my mind. I hope you aren't offended. Only you know exactly what you were evoking, the rest of us only reflect.

Very lovely work. :)