All Comments on 'Gravitational Upgrades'

...usually gravity has a way of 'down'grading certain body parts as we age...the thought that gravity can upgrade is a much better one.

I loved your humorous poem. Following, my tongue in chick follow up:

Little kids could not just walk

They have to jump and leap.

That endless extra energy

Can hardly they contain.

Those small balloons,

if we don’t hold them,

They will just laugh and fly.

So all adults must now partake

And hold them back with us,

With all our gravitas and stuff!

You see, you could become with years

A better parent yet!

And an interresting perspective. But taken way too far. Less is more. The title, and the first and fifth paragraph is all you need. And they are also the best written parts of the poem. If you had obmitted the rest, this would have been a five star poem IMO.

Love your Newtonesque take on ‘gravity’. Your poem speaks tomes about the way you accept aging with grace and humour and that’s about as good as it takes as things drop 1000 leagues under the ocean!

Art, you make Literotica sing with your attentiveness to the site and its poets/authors. Your many kindnesses and critiques alone raise the standard bar. For that alone I thank you!

This poem is mentioned in New Poems Reviews. Highly original but needs a trim. C.o.S.

A 5 for making me laugh, but I do agree with some of the others, it could use a gravitational downgrade.