by bluedragonauthor
Please don't leave us hanging. We all want to know what happens next!
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"Wait until midnight. I'll crack my door open if the coast is clear."
Is there anyone who DIDN'T know what was gonna happen right then? Still, not bad...
This reflects the quality of your previous work, although it was obvious where you were going. A twist or two might be nice, perhaps work mom into the picture in a future installment. Assuming you follow up with more chapters...
i knew the twist before it came but still fuckin great story
This story was very creative and arousing. The twist was unexpecting and I applauded, but I found unlikely. Even so, I enjoyed this selection and encourage your writing style.
What a well-written, hot as fuck story. I loved every minute of it.
I had intended to write a story with a similar premise--mistaken identity! It was going to be titled "Stromboli". A man--a student--is a foreign exchange student in Italy. He meets a young woman and goes on a cruise in her wealthy father's yacht. The cruise the Med, stopping to watch the volcano Stromboli erupting at night. The next night, she invites him in to her cabin at night, but he goes into the wrong one and winds up fucking her sister in the darkness, who it turns out is a Carmelite nun. He doesn't even know it at first though, and finds out he didn't fuck his girlfriend, but isn't sure at first which of her sisters he fucked. Now I'm not sure if I'll write it--although I love the premise.
First of all, I want to say that I enjoyed your story immensely. So please don't take what I say next as an insult or anything. It's just my opinion. You're more than welcome to dispute it. But isn't this type of story cliche now? I mean, the "mistaken identity" type of story. Don't get me wrong, though. I love these types of stories. All I'm saying is that some people might get turned off by reading a story they've seen 1,000 times before. They might even avoid it without reading it. I do that myself with some stories. Still, you did an amazing job with this one and I look forward to reading future chapters.