by Mac_G
Personally, I loved the story. Well written, hot and earthy. There was an element of tension - you could tell 'something' was afoot, just a question of 'what'.
"However"... I understand why you put it in this category, rather than Incest/Taboo, so as to not spoil the twist, but just be prepared for the dolts who will blast you because they don't like that topic and who will be angry for being fooled.
Don't give up, don't give in, and keep writing! Kudos
As the other comment said, 'hiding' it in this category gives the sister twist much more impact!
Your portrayal of the atmosphere of a strip club, or the "good ones" at any rate, was pretty authentic. It showed how guys can get taken care of there, as long as they tip well, the cops aren't around and, as you say, you don't live in a county with blue-haired church ladies and "women's rights" advocates running the government. Save us from those people who think passing a bunch of restrictive rules will keep these dancers "safe" from unwanted sexual advances (and bigger tips), and encourage them to seek fulfillment as neurosurgeons or nuclear physicists. Not that a lot of the girls aren't pretty smart, but still ...
My one complaint is the silly, wish-fulfillment of the narrator not having to pay for his dances. Look, most of the girls who work these clubs are basically fairly good sports or they wouldn't stay in the job, but tips are how almost all of them make almost all their money. You wouldn't get more than a freebie or two if you were Brad Pitt and you saved them from a burning building.