All Comments on 'All These Years'

by Selena_Kitt

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  • 363 Comments
jjadlerjjadlerover 17 years ago
Thank you.

Raw and sweet. Thank you for that, Selena.

Blue88Blue88over 17 years ago
Painful

Heartwrenching, but so realistic. I'm sure that, at times, it ends just like this - holding each other - not knowing what to do or what the future will be. Excellent writing, well done - and I still feel their pain.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
This is definately written by a woman. If a man

YES, a man wrote this story the wife or lover or both would have paid for her cheating. Find out who the man was and if he's married tell his wife so he can suffer too. Don't let him get awya with it. How many other times has she fucked someone else? How many? No mention of that! No a woman wrote this. No man would take his just freshly fucked wife and hold her and love her knowing her pussy was just fucked by another cock. I can't believe how you ended this story. Love is great but it dies with cheating and infidelity like this woman did to her husband. Why not talk at least a few times about her lonily existance. At least talk to him before she cheats. He didn't relaize or understand her problem since she never told him. Oh he was at workl so I'll fuck this man. Na, it's because he worked and wasn't ready to go to Disneyworld and all the rest of the shit that happens to everyone married for as long as they have been. But the vast majority of the real women in this world love their husband and understamnd what a bitch fucked up dog eat dog money hungry bastard of a world we work in. This bitch just felt sorry for herself and she needed something else so goes out and fucks another man in their married bed yet! The husband should have beat the living shit out of the lover and kicked the whore wife out.He would have felt mush better. Then let her have to work hard and long to pay her bills and see and understand why he wanted to stay home. I'm sure they went places during their marriage. One year he didn't want to go and she fucks a new man she just met in a class. WTF he should have had revenge.

duddle146duddle146over 17 years ago
Family conflicts!

Somehow it's possible to feel empathy and compassion for all the characters in this so true to life story. Molly overcome by all the daily boring tasks seeks escape ~ if even for a little while. Good Write! Interesting Read!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
I hated it

I hated the story, but I believed the characters. You made them human.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
you and sawyer brown both suck

why you write this crap? i don't blame the lover for saying i call you later.he fucks your wife in your bed and you look stupid and act stupid.the wife new all you were was a bag of air,talk and talk.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Believable

Despite some of the other comments, this is very believable. Not every man will fly into a violent rage, many will feel the obvious sadness and hopelessness he feels here. And many women, or men for that matter who get caught, will face the reality of the fact that they never did think.

What you have left is a couple who don't know where they are going, to divorce court, counselling or just getting back together.

What I would like is a follow up, to see how they deal with the considerable anguish they obviously feel

andrew peters

EDYXXXEDYXXXover 17 years ago
Sorry Story

Good Writing but story realy sucked. You made the husband into a spineless wimp. He should have thrown them both out then get revenge by finding out who he was and destroying his life as well.Once a cheat always a cheat weather its male or female.

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 17 years ago
As good as it gets

Superb writing as always from one of Literotica's very best.

The author's skill is consummate as she shows us who Molly and Jim are by their words, their deeds and their feelings. They're careworn, struggling against life's demands, desperate to escape the ennui of the mundane, hoping against hope for a brilliance, maybe just one moment of joy but knowing that will not happen.

It's not a feel good story. Prince Charming isn't about to swoop down and rescue the fair maiden. The cavalry isn't going to arrive in time. Nor is Dudley Doright about to put in an appearance. It's just two people who're together but don't know why any more. The marriage isn't strong, the bonds eroded away by the vissitudes of time. They're trapped in a loveless relationship that neither knows how to escape. It's poignant and it's played out every day in real life, millions of times every day.

Excellent fiction this is. This 100's for you, SelenaKittyn, for a story very well-told. I thank you.

Purr. ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
well

it looks like its allways the same. I had a girlfriend who told me one time, she believes god made her to communicate. it was really fun. the problem was she was unable to communicate when we or she had a problem. even if asked , she never answered. it was allways "oh nothing". so you really should come out of stoneage woman. god gave you a mouth to talk not only about the weather , shoes and gossip

quutooquutooover 17 years ago
Husband wasn't a wimp.

A lot of readers are only after the vengence. Your story was real. Does a man just beat the shit out of a guy fucking his wife and divorce her. That man lets his anger make a hole he covers himself in. The story was real because a man that loved his wife feels just like he did...what the fuck...

The wife tried to turn it all around and make her weakness because of him...Would really love to read what happens next...Your story was poignant...

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Wimp husband - slut wife!

Sad & wimpy story.

z00timez00timeover 17 years ago
At first

I wanted him to kill the guy and punish his wife by slapping her around.....but then I imagined it was me that just caught my wife and my brother doing this and........

CallistaLynaeCallistaLynaeover 17 years ago
I read most of what you write, but for a few

of the categories i don't like. And I have to agree with most of the commentors here that this was superbly written. The story was sad, which doesn't bother me much because I feel that some stories just don't rate happy endings.

What I've been finding recently though, with what you write is the fact that you don't finish a story. You tell it to a point and then bam, you're done but you leave your readers wondering what happens next. That might be okay sometime, but not having an ending is sort of like not having an orgasm during sex. Sex is great, but it didn't do much for me.

I've read some of your stories that have just absolutely floored me, some were so wonderful and breathtaking that I couldn't stop reading, but it's like now, you write the least amount you have to to fit the guidelines and then, bam, you're done, deal with it.

I hope you take this criticism as it's meant. Constructively. Thanks for writing, your work is always entertaining no matter the ending.

the Troubadorthe Troubadorover 17 years ago
You wrote the story you wanted to write...

You left your two people with no future, no past and nothing but heart rending sorrow.

This was a story leaving your characters, and in a certain manner your readers, with unending pain and no chance of relieving it. I don't think that was really what you intended.

NeedYouNeedYouover 17 years ago
Well the husband may not actually beat the shit

of the lover he catches with his wife that's true but he sure as hell wouldn't just roll over and accept it like this man did in the story. And for the wife, to try and blame him for her infidelity is just pure crap with a capital C. This marriage would have been over in the majority of the cases. Only a wimp cuckold or sad excuse for a man would accept it like this husband did. Sad but no wife would do that to her man if she loved him and no man would accept her back as easily as he did it if she did.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Wimp story? No, not really.

For anyone who said this is a story about a wimpy husband, you're nothing but an insipid moron. No man is completely invincible, and Jim's reaction to what had happened was as real as it can get. Normally, wimp-husband stories lead to the hubby watching his wife being screwed and maybe even jerking to it, but that didn't happen here. It was a beautiful story, very nicely written. It was nice to see a character who had a real reaction to a situation for once. So, Selena, don't listen to anyone who said 'more violence' this story was perfect.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 17 years ago
Sometimes

we confuse our emotions with the caliber of the story. This made me sad, so it deserves a bad score? I think not. It made me feel strong emotions and allowed me to understand the husband's agony. This is a very good story in a very tough category! (It's a great idea to use a song for inspiration!)

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Interesting

Too many years with the lack of communication finally took its toll. Don't know what's left for this couple.

Boyd

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 17 years ago
Good writing; No credibility

Sorry, but despite the poetic and sensitive depiction of emotions and the use of rich language and imagery (akin to poetry), at the core I could not buy the emotions conveyed by either husband’s or wife’s characters.

The timing of exposed betrayal is the least likely to create negotiation of the relationships or renewed intimacy. The range of emotions: shock; rage; numbness; denial pretty much cover what you find at that stage (if there is no physical violence). The least likely are negotiation or renewed intimacy. At least I have not seen any in my work with couples for that stage.

Hopefully it indicates that the talented author have not experienced a similar situation herself.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Sorry

Again, well written, but I don't believe the characters. The heat of the moment when catching your wife in your bed with her lover may not always lead to a killing (many times it does) but his stepping aside is totally unbelievable. And his holding her and trying to figure out what to do may have come later on, but not while she still was naked from fucking this character.......have you ever even known a man?The timing of the husbands actions is what makes him a wimp, not what he does. At that moment, holding her (except to squeeze the life from her whoring body) would be the last thing on his mind. To be honest, the song makes me angry and so does your story......

LadyCibelleLadyCibelleover 17 years ago
So beautiful

It's a very beautiful story and so very true you have here, Selena. Sometimes the pain is all that's holding two people together and sometimes it's also enough to rebuild a life on.

As always, you've written a very 'hard' story and made it something more than just 'cheating'; you've made it a story about life and love.

Kudos to you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
sorry

it needs emotion ...this story has no realness...he should do something ...first thing is he really should have shoved the asshole through the wall ... then the assholeness after him ....no matter as long as they have been married ...maybe they can get back but only after he has had his affair .. or 2 or 3 ...whatever it takes to see if someone else is as good as his wife once was ...thing is how can you ever trust her again ...how could you even fuck her not knowing if she has aids or something ....better off t odump her and live your life ...seems like she dont need you or you her so why not just commit mutual suicide

ohioohioover 17 years ago
A very powerful story

It's beautifully written and very sad.

My thoughts about the angry readers who thought the story sucked is that it simply didn't go the way they like it to go: with an angry, revenge-driven husband and a weeping, guilty wife. Hey guys--there are plenty of those stories, but this one is something different, OK?

But I'm not sure I agree with the Troubador, though I share his admiration for the story. He said: " This was a story leaving your characters, and in a certain manner your readers, with unending pain and no chance of relieving it. I don't think that was really what you intended."

My guess is that it IS what you intended. We can imagine various futures for this couple, but each of them will involve a lot of pain.

If the Troubador is right, and that's not what you aimed for, I hope you'll write a sequel to let us know what Jim and Molly go through after this painful confrontation.

Thanks again for your great story--ohio

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
As always, you have done Lit’ proud.

I shuddered a little on seeing my favourite author rowing her small dinghy through the choppy waters of ‘Loving Wives’ however, as usual, you steered a good course and produced another fine work of art. Consequences are for another time, another place I just wallowed in the emotions and good writing.

Many thanks.

My best wishes

anonymousreaderanonymousreaderover 17 years ago
unfinished

The way you weave a story is fine, but ending it with so much unresolved is like

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
My Comment

I am sorry, your story didn't make any sense at all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
I am a woman and even I can't believe this

How could any man hug and hold his wife right after catching her in bed with another man? Makes no sense at all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
What a waste of my time!

You just WASTED my time!!! Quit, if this is typical!

Kanga40Kanga40over 17 years ago
I have to agree with the 2 anons below

The story made very little sense.

When I read the teaser I thought, "Just another 'found my wife screwing when I got home early' story".

Well, I was wrong - even most of those, even where the hubby joins in, have some point, some conclusion or some outcome.

I heartily agree with the woman who says:

"How could any man hug and hold his wife right after catching her in bed with another man? Makes no sense at all."

I add my vote to that in buckets!

I suppose many males these days could, but I doubt a man would.

If there was a point to this story, I completely missed it - as did many others judging by the comments.

We even have the king of "Reconciliation At Any Cost" bleeting that commenters downgrade a story because it doesn't end the way they'd like it to. Sounds to me sorta like a certain someone praising every reconciliation ever concocted on literotica no matter how far fetched or stupid it is.

I can accept any ending that is justified by the author.

But this story was really special - a stereotyed beginning, a pointless middle and no real ending.

Very well written, but even so, well written words about nothing still mean nothing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Been there done that

Been there done that many years ago. You hit the nail right on the head. You brought all the pain and fellings right back as if it was yesterday or as if you Been there done that!!!!

bornagainbornagainover 17 years ago
that was crap

they were so stupid he catches her fucking the guy in there bed and he saysd nothing there so stupid he needs a swift kick in the back end for not getting even with her why dont he get even with her by fucking some woman and bring her to there bed in front of the wife.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Got me Thinking

I liked the story because it got me thinking about marriage and life in general.

Anyone can write the simple and obvious. I was left with all sorts of thoughts that I am able to complete or simply continue to wonder about. I am in my 50's and have the ability to take a broader look at things from my experiences. I suspect younger people may only see whats in front of them and thus the negative comments due to a lack of a straight forward ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Too Many Years

We watch T.V. and we read the newspaper and learn all about the bad things that are going on in the world today.We need to do this to grow and try to improve both ourselves and the world.Most of us read fiction to relax and unwind from our everyday jobs and the stress of our famlies,friends and our life in general.This story is not what fiction is all about.We all know we are going to die sooner or later,but we dont need to be remined about it all the time.Cheating is cheating and must be faced.The author wrote a sad story that realy said very little and didnt finish.I guess the question that every husband of wife must consider,AM I better off with them or without them.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Hmmmm

Without reading the other comments: It was moving but felt choreographed, it was well written but to a script, it was emotional as intended but left me nothing but discomfort, it was pointed but not in the reasonable reality of human direction, it was unfinished, unexplained, unreal, unresolved and unsatisfying - as you intended.

And that's what hurt - the most. Intended Anguish isn't well meant for any reason, song or story. So I wonder why - why you?

Why are you your own chosen messenger of unavoidable anguish - just because you can? Hardly a plus to your portfolio

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
A woman's perspective

This is certainly the way a woman would like to have such an episode play out. A man --- not a wimp --- would have a very different view, love notwithstanding.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
DONT quite your day job bitch

there are not enough low values to give you for this awful pointless WIMP story.

Does anyone know why she cheated? she didnt know where she was? or who she was?

Harryin VAHarryin VAover 17 years ago
Lookat which posters said this is a Good story!!!

Troubador Alavron 53 and Ohio... the Holy trinty of super wimp men.

doesnt that say it all? and the author is a woman which explains why those three liked this wretched story

Ok so he said NO to disneyword trip? THAT is a reason to cheat? clearly that was symptomatic of a bigger issue but one left unresolved. has she been fucking someone else?... for how long?

why would this wimp hubby WANT to O Hold a whore wife he has just discovered fucking some guy ?? YEEEEECCCHHHHH!!!!

so he worked a lot?....welll was he he sexually negelectful of her?

how many other men ?

GothmasterGothmasterover 17 years ago
Wimp or no wimp?

That seem to be the eternal question in the loving wife section. Most of the peaple that write very strongly about wimps seem to just be very imature. They do not have a real attachment to reality and real relationships. Every man is different and react differently to these circumstances. Some usually say that the husband should kill or maim the guy fucking their wife and also punish the wife accordingly. Well, that sometimes happen in real life and guess what happens. The husband is often sent to jail. As the husband he would be the prime suspect and cops aren't stupid.

Some say the husband in the story is a wimp because he hold his wife and forgives her. I did not read that he have forgiven her. He are lost. It is not wimpy to act human. He are just shell shocked and it may lead to a divorce. Or they patch up the marriage. Who knows? I doubt that even the author know the outcome. Whatever the case i hope they find some happiness.

leapyearguyleapyearguyover 17 years ago
I hated it

the first time I read it. I had a hard time beleving I could dislike a story so much. So I read it again, and this time felt pissed off. But I also felt and odd nagging that I missed the point. So I read it again, this time it meant something to me. To me, is was about them as a whole, not just him or her. I also saw two people running on cruise control, not minding the road. Just because the marriage is running without input doesn't mean you can sit in the back seat, you have to pay attention to the road or you are going to crash like these two did. It was still a painful read, especially three times, but I don't see it as pointless as others do. LYG

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Where's the back story?

No depth of history to any of this. It has its merits, but this is crying out for further elaboration.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Good potential, try another draft?

The quality of your writing is truly among the best I've read on these boards. It's poignant and evocative and true. (Also there were no really annoyingly stupid spelling or grammatical errors!)

However, I did feel that the end was anticlimactic -- what happens? WHY did she cheat -- that was never fully explained, IMO.

I would strongly urge you to do a second draft of this story, pulling out the ending to a more satisfying conclusion. I can understand why a man would forgive his wife but not without more explication.

Good job, just keep going!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Both Good and Bad!

The good parts of this story were the raw emotional impact of the couple as well as the obvious pain of the situation.

Another good part was the open nature of the ending which allows readers to plot their own ends to this sad tale.

The bad parts of this story were

(1) What caused her cheating? Was it the need for something different in her life? It read like the affair was a result of her need to connect with another adult (her lover's price for this connection was that she fuck him).

(2) The wife had no remorse for her actions so this marriage had been dead prior to this incident. The fact that she had her lover fucking her up to an hour before his arrival indicated that she was not concerned about him discovering her cheating. She was also listening for his arrival (not a good endorsement for her lover's efforts).

(3) The open ending raise questions whether they will survive as a couple. They had survived miscarriages, an ill child requiring special care and his temper. The marriage reminds me of a dry husk - just a shell with nothing of any value inside. The husband is not a wimp because we do not know what he values. Obviously he values work but he seems to be also on autopilot. The wife blames him for her cheating and he is confused and lost.

SleeplessinMD

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Do what now?

That was so lacking motivation it barely qualifies as a story. Why release something so unfinished? You're demonstratably capable of better, Selena.

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 17 years ago
Imagine that: me, a super Wimp ;)

Gosh, I just don't know how to thank you, Harry, for putting me in the same Holy Trinity as Troubador and ohio, two of my favorite authors on Literotica. I dunno if they're wimpy guys or not but I sorta doubt it.

How does a wimp live, Harry? You'll need to instruct me since I don't know anything about the subject. I reckon you're an expert since you talk about it all the time.

I gotta run. My new story entitled "Refugee" got published today and I should go read it to see if it qualifies me for the Super Wimp Hall of Fame that you're opening up next week. I know that was s'posed to be a secret so forgive me for blabbing it around.

Take care, Harry.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
What story

You have here a good introduction to a story or at best a man lost in his wife's infidelity. Someone wrote here this is how a woman would like it to play out and my comment is no this is how a cheating slut would like it to play out.

All I do is work in the house all day and prepare meals and shop and take classes and such. My god such an awful life, a virtual slave to her family preparing foods her husband doesnt like and she knows it.

Women forget that when they say this the man says yes all I do every day is go to the same job doing the same things day after day for about forty years so you and the kids can have a life in a home with food, clothes, and school.

Now remind me again who is the slave to the family.

Would be very nice if you could develop this story and find a wife who has some remorse for what she has done and ruining her husbands life, yes his life. She didnt really ruin her own, it was her choice to do what she did and commit the acts of adultry. In some societies, she would be taken out by her family, not her husband, and stoned to death for that act against her husband and god.

aventuraangelaventuraangelover 17 years ago
A very realiztic take on a very explosive issue...

If I was disappointed in anything…it was the stories brevity. I would have enjoyed seeing how your characters ended up going about wrangling and muddling through this mess.

For those focusing on the anger the superficial issue of hurt pride, I would suggest that they take a step back and reconsider the reality of such situations.

What should a man (or woman for that matter) do? Walk away from their homes and children and everything else they’ve struggled to become vested in…for the long term…for the term of what they believed was their entire life?

Would turning in anger and pride, walking out to never be seen again…making a life changing decisions in that very moment of discovery…a decisions that will affect the lives of all around them…children, friends, extended family, living parents…every one held dear…from that moment forward…would that have made him more of a man? Is that what you all call being macho?

This little story simply helps demonstrate the reality of the human condition. We don’t stop loving in a heart beat nor do we forgive and forget in that time frame either…but what we often do…those of use that accept the responsibility of being adults…we work to find a way…a way to make it work…before running from the problem.

To do this does not make a man or woman a wimp or pathetic cuckold. It shows great strength of will and character…and a willingness of at least one of the two persons in the relationship…to accept responsibility for what’s now going to happen and for being the adult.

Good story. Keep it up.

AA

zed0zed0over 17 years ago
Obviously written by a Women

Very well written I might add! A very powerful emotional slice of life's moments from a women’s perspective. Obviously she has no respect for him, which is why she cheated. Predictably he let's her lover walk away with a few empty threats, then shows some tit, he comes crawling back. (I'll bet hubby will be having some creampie for desert) The fact that this story is so well written only makes the husbands behavior much more disturbing, and knowing she doesn't regret what she did but only that she got caught adds to that sort of sick gut feeling I get when evil wins.

angelicminxangelicminxover 17 years ago
Oh God, Selena...

You did it. You captured it in words. The pain, the confusion, the love that just won't die - no matter how much you will it to. It's all there.

I love the song, always have, but the images that will play in my head when I hear it now will be yours, not mine.

Beautiful work, hon. Just... wow. ~Minx

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
I don't get it ....

the slut wife fucked some other dick because they didn't go to Disney World. Wow !! That is so not believable. It pretty much sucked.

Blue_FLADBlue_FLADover 17 years ago
Needs completion

Loved the Sawyer Brown. A very heart wrenching story.

The only reason I did not give a 5 was it needs finishing.

Why now did she have an affair?

Was it only this one?

Why/when did they stop communicating?

What happens now? therapy?anger?separation?

Love the emotion. My heart, right now, is hurtingfor them both (more for him obviously - but she is hurting too.)

Keep writing! please!!!

SoftlySoftlyover 17 years ago
A well written snippet of life.

This was truly great work. You took a song and fleshed it out so that we readers could live the moment with your characters.

Pay no attention to the folks who forgot to take their anti-dumb pills.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
this was no story!

this was a little pseudo tragic play on stage; it was total nonsense. of course, there's some very sensitive women and men, they'd be flying high, singing is a piece of art here in Lit., no doubt!

the author's very capable enough; it has nothing to do with her. the story was just complete nonsense.

NeedYouNeedYouover 17 years ago
Actually this comment is to aventuraangel and his

remark on the story. Man!!! Your brain is really fucked up man. How about I come over and fuck your old lady maybe your daughter too. Then after I leave you can sit around and work it out on how you'll live with it. NO sir, revenge is the name of the gane for a cheating wife or husband. oh yes, and I wasn't thinking of the husband walking out and leaving everything. I was thinking more on the lines of throwing the bitch out and making her walk away from everything.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Kramer vs Kramer

This was Kramer vs. Kramer without a POV. The writing was technically first person but I could not detect the man speaking. This was like reading about a ghost speaking of the living.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Great Writing

Great development of characters, yes these people have become rather flat. The story flowed like real life and thought. The reader gets information in a natural way. Thank you for omitting the too frequent listing of personal appearance, initial meeting and most of all for omitting sound activated recorders. But that is the purview of the revenge crowd isn't it? You presented the drift toward a humdrum existence, as well as the destructive desperation to escape it. The narrator portrays a bleak marriage that has only habit and duty but no joy. The beef jerky is a good metaphore for its probable future course.

My only quibble is the hug. Can't picture that. Watching the copulation is more likely to shut off any remaining inimacy.

I am sorry to have read this before bedtime. It's a little too disturbing in its depiction of life. Now I could use a new fix from Egmont Grigor in his "Valley of Sinners" series. He creates a happy if unrealistic world of fornication with little negative consequences. Alas there is no update from him today. Life is difficult to escape on Literotica sometimes. Maybe a glass of wine will do the trick.

Again, a well written story Selena.

JoesephusJoesephusover 17 years ago
Too much pain...

Very well written by a talented author. I think the point that is being missed by some who are calling the husband a wimp is that the hug doesn't mean he accepts her but that he doesn't care any more. That's why it's such a sad story.

There is not enough love left to generate strong emotion on his part. There's not enough left for heat or anger. He won't let her say she's sorry. He understands the marriage is over it has been nothing but a habit for a long time. It takes time to break a habit. He's not even as angry at her as he is at a stranger, he doesn't care that much. Hugging his wife when asked is a habit. Getting a hug when he's hurting is a habit too.

He understood enough to say that the hug should be misunderstood.

My only real problem is that it isn't made clear that the wife understand the magnitude of what she's done. I've read the song but not heard it but it sounds like the woman in the song understands she's destroyed he marriage. Here I don't see evidence that she understands her guilt. I don't just mean cheating in her husband's bed, but letting the home that she's supposed to be nurturing wither. It sounds like she doesn't work outside the home. It also sounds like Jim has made great sacrifics to make that possible.

I find her attempt to divert some of the blame to him to be very human, but it also shows how little she understands. Yes, her life is a never ending repitition... but so is his. His hands are work calloused. He had settled for what little she gave, but he never understood that because she gave so little the love that should be burning brightly inside him was a dead as a fireplace in July.

KublaiKhanIIIKublaiKhanIIIover 17 years ago
Josephous has a point

when a man tells you how his hands have calloused over the years --- transforming from a hard drinking, undisciplined, fisty young man to a hard working, devoted, and, yes, unawared husband and father who's trying hard to raise his children and provide for a wife --- and how he comes home to hear noises about the wife making, "Harder, Johnny, Harder, you're gone farther than my uncaring husband ever has!", there's little chance that, despite his seemingly coolness about the whole thing, that deep inside his love and cherishing for the woman has died.

it's sad that she doesn't know; she thinks they are just in awkward, silent moments, as if though she's expecting him to say, "Gosh, honey, how lucky it was that I just came home to find you working laboriously under Johnny, in our marital bed! How luck am I? You're right, I could have been castrated by you, for being such a lousy lover, compared to Johnny Romance there! I am so sorry, could you ever forgive me? I will from now on double, triple my effort! Please, could you forgive me? Let's go and talk to a marriage counselor."

But, as Josephous said, the hugging the man bestowed on his wife, a woman he once loved deeply,,, it's likely one of the last,,, He now will work harder to help support that in that out-of-state insitution,,,, but his loneliness and sadness are from now on to be dealt with by himself, for he has just lost someone he thought was a team member who would suffer and cry with him,,,, but instead, this was a woman who FUCKED laborious on their bed and the first thing she said to him was that he had let their marriage die!

Very sad indeed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Wow!

You get a 5 from me because of all of the comments that this story generated. Suggests that it hit it's mark very well.

It was indeed a very sad story and is probably best left as it is.

HOWEVER, I would really be interested in seeing how you envision the next part of their story. I always find it interesting to see how an author would conclude such a traumatic an event in someone's life.

andy1hardyandy1hardyover 17 years ago
Too Much WAS Not said!!

Sorry Kitty...unless the hug at the end was the realization of the death of their marriage... this episodic moment in their lives fully separated their future together...It sours all their attempts to overcome their struggles, their hopes and their dreams including the ups and downs... to that frightful premeditated moment when she decided to bring her lover home to fuck her in their bed in the afternoon...I don't know what she was thinking [maybe explore her POV] but her actions destroyed this man fully...Was it good Molly...Do you hate me this much..simple "yes" or "no" questions should have been asked but of course he only asked the proverbial "why"... as if a correct answer would assuage the moment when really there is no answer... so why ask it.

It appears the author wants the husband to realize that all his efforts to make a better life for them was a sham because it appears that at the first opportunity for her to do something outside of the HOME eg: cooking and computer classes... was to find some guy to fuck...his wake up call was her desire to act outside the marriage.. a marriage that she thought was sufficating.

And how many guys out there would not take advantage of such a woman...even the meekest of predators look for women like this...

Nope, the stark reality of "all these years"...is that.. she wanted out and found a way to tell him.

The menu on the fidge should have said "your goose is cooked"...there's seconds in the bedroom.

Good writing though.

Andy

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
You do have a talent

SelenaKittyn,

to ruin a night of reading. There are several ladies who write on Lit. that have an ability to spin a story that grabs the reader. Patricia51 and yourself head that select field. You have told a story of two people who have gone their own way in the marriage. She feels totally unappreciated and reacts (however inapropriate it may have been). She is just beginning to realize that there are consequences as the story ends. He has slowly been beaten down by her witholding and withdrawal until this final act of treachery. The readers who can't understand why he didn't smite all concerned hip and thigh are fools; when you have run on empty for so long, what you would like to do is an impossibility, and this final act on her part simply put the exclamation point to the end of their married life. He couldn't act or react because he wasn't able to, as much as he would have liked to do so. It is a story of a man whose wife spent years beating him down and finally totally destroyed him in one last vicious act of betrayal and if the truth were known could not explain why she did it. Thank you for a thought provoking story. Ronnie W.

sirhugssirhugsover 17 years ago
A Reality play twisted

you capture the raw emotion perfectly, and the ambiguous ending mirrors the messiness and uncertainty of real life. "Been there, felt that, you just carry on...."

Not my fave flavour of LW tale, and I honestly prefer your more sexually driven romps, but a testament to your talent that you shift gears effectively, and ad a meaningful story to Lit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
well written but

did not appeal to me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Troubling Purpose, Authors and Female Reactions

This isn't about the talent displayed - it's about the purpose and the plausibility of her words.

Eliciting emotion is a task given each writer. The talented ones have it down to an art form but with that comes some responsibility. A song doesn't grant the rightly wrong of inappropriateness to spread anguish unfairly just because emotions are there to be mangled unfairly.

A good beat doesn't warrant acceptance without some human characteristics that ring of reality as appropriate to the circumstance. Eric Clapton sang about his son's fall to his death with an emotional acceptance and clarity that made some sense. It wasn't twisted to secure warpage as this writers version of a song that preyed upon emotions with deliberately inappropriate twisted reasoning.

Anyone who couldn't read this as her attempt to create either a way out or to cause painful acceptance of his fault without question - has been drinking an effeminate or sensitive writers bathwater.

Some writers here feel bulletproof as long as they are exercising their right to do whatever they wish - after all there is no one saying that will hurt your book sales cuz there are no books sales in jeopardy.

But some good writers are so blinded by their own light that they think that they are their own sounding board - of any real value. So much so that when their creative juices are really flowing [ downhill to most of normal sensibility's ]they can only see them lapping on the shore of an invincibly Kevlar barrier or one of total blind acceptance due to what has preceded. It ain't totally so.

Should the writer have the right to float a new direction - to take a stab at something never done before - by them?

Why of course! They have the right to do anything the site rulemeisters allow but without any guaranty of it playing well in Peoria - or no "H"ing here against their prior grain so to speak.

Authoress, do what you wish but a good talented beat doesn't automatically sell songs or credibility - in fact the stain may not eventually be forgoten.

A oncer may be applauded by some for some inexplicable reason like advocating necessary sensitivity to killing puppies while the juices of grape or lemming-osity is overflowing but like multiple marital infidelities they grows more offensive in number.

Enough - you are too good to walk a non-defensible path again - I hope.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
"The rightly wrong of inappropriateness"

To the person below who just commented:

I'm impressed with the length and depth of your review. It's just that I don't have a clue about what you wrote. But I do love the "rightly wrong of inappropriateness." I gotta work that into a conversation some time.

Selena_KittSelena_Kittover 17 years agoAuthor
This is fun!

I should write for LW more often... you guys are fun :)

As for this: "Authoress, do what you wish but a good talented beat doesn't automatically sell songs or credibility - in fact the stain may not eventually be forgoten."

I hope it isn't forgotten. I really do. I get tired of reading the same old thing in LW... why do you think I started the story the way I did? :) I wanted to write something off-formula, with real people, real emotions, instead of cardboard standups that you all could knock down with an easy blow. The world isn't black and white, and fiction should, imho, reflect the world.

Yes, there are places for happy endings. This wasn't one of them. In fact, this was a place for a painful, ambiguous ending... and remember, as a writer, I follow my characters. I am not playing God with these people... I am listening to them, telling their story. This was their story.

Some of you have really heard the message here and taken it in. Some of you have missed the point entirely, blinded by your own pain. Either way, this arrow hit the mark, and in that, I feel satisfied. Yes, painful, but true.

Most comments I've received have been about the "ending." I had to laugh at the poster who claimed "in my professional opinion." If you treat your clients as an average statistic, I feel sorry for both you and your clients :( People have as many different reactions to circumstances as there are individuals in the world... you should never assume a "typical" response... from anyone.

But as for him "taking her back." He didn't. Never once did he say so, in fact, he said the opposite...

Think of it this way... the whole "getting familiar" with everything--routine, life, etc... is what has caused their marriage to collapse in the first place. It's what she has done, it's what he has done... they have both let familiarity and routine erode their marriage.

So what is the first thing they do when they discover the devastating consequences of what they have done?

The FAMILIAR. That's the hug. It's not intimacy or reconciliation. It's irony... this is what we humans do, again and again, to sabotage ourselves... the same thing, the same pattern, over and over... and here they go again...

yes, it's sad...

but it's life. Welcome to the real world?

Thank you all for your feedback.

Selena

TiggerTooTiggerTooover 17 years ago
Sad but true.

A well deserved five. SelenaKitten, thank you for your story and your comment. You are right on. The rubes are boobs. You've class and smarts and your powers of observation are well honed. Your points were incisively delivered.

Phil

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 17 years ago
Singled out for speaking the truth

I was not the only one who expressed doubts about the hugging portion of the story, yet apparently I was singled out and chosen to be laughed at my opinion and be the recipient of the author’s expression of sorrow at me and the people I see just because I dared pointing out the basis of my opinion. BTW, other people have also expressed doubt about that part; do you also feel sorry for them and laugh at their opinion? They must have arrived at their conclusion based on SOME life experience

I simply said the truth. Not a theory. Not an opinion. Not a statistic. I have not encountered this kind of behavior (i.e. couples hugging each other immediately after one spouse catching the other cheating) I clearly must have hit a nerve to get that much wrath.

To be clear, I never said it could never happen. I said that I have not seen this kind of behavior and that’s why it came across to me as incredible. Could there be rare exceptions? Of course. BTW, I realize that hugs could mean many things. Still I have not heard of any. It may be a nice poetic construct but it still does not sound credible.

When you respond to readers in the manner you chose to respond to me, you do not disrespect me. I was respectful in both posts despite your choice of style. You mostly disrespect yourself. You convey that you can not tolerate descent, especially when it’s anchored in reality. The sound of your laughter here is incredible as much as your response to my respectful opinion is rude. (Feeling sorry for me and for the people I have seen). My advice - never disrespect your readers.

bornagainbornagainover 17 years ago
help for the wife

I think you have a moving story Selena but you didnt show what the husband wanted to say to the wife like him laying down the rules to what he will do to her lover like vengeance against him telling the wife that he caught him and his wife screwing in there bed then getting his payback to his wife why didnt he do that?

Pat .

Atlanta,Ga.

bearleebearleeover 17 years ago
Excellent

I don't read many stories on Lit anymore but one with 69 comments when I started caught my attention. Of course the comments were interesting reading too. This captured life-excellent job!

Selena_KittSelena_Kittover 17 years agoAuthor
To Kolkore

If you felt disrespected, I apologize. I didn't even go back to see who had posted that (6 pages of comments is too much to wade back through, dangit! :) and didn't mean to single you out. My point was that, in spite of the "usual" responses to cheating that one might encounter as a professional (or otherwise)... there are many many more atypical responses, as well. For there to be an "average," there have to be extremes on either end, no?

Would it make you feel better to know that this actually happened? That an actual human being has been in this situation and responded this way? Would that make a difference, I wonder?

You maligned the "credibility" of the character's response in your original post, based on your professional experience... but from my view, his response is no less valid, simply because it is atypical.

Just because I've never experienced something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Know what I mean?

But thanks again for your feedback, and I apologize if you were upset by my explanation.

Selena

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 17 years ago
Feeling better already…

In a way it is about feeling good when we write. Either as authors or as readers who post comments. Thank you for your civil tone. You make a fair point reg. a - typical cases (different than average). It has been said that reality can be stranger than fiction. Yet, the difficult challenge for authors is to walk on a thin line which would allow readers to feel that even a fictitious plot could have been a reality. If you aimed at depicting an emotional situation or a behavior which are not common or familiar to many, the reaction of ‘I can’t recognize it’ could be attributed to either the theme you chose or the way you worked it into the story or both. Seems to me that despite this difficulty there is a considerable number of readers who did not find any problem (to say the least) with said hugging. I would consider it a success.

Finally, I have not maligned anything. Just conveyed my own reaction to the depiction in the story. It is very possible that had I seen concrete cases akin to the one you described in the story it could have affected my reaction. I believe we all react base on our life experience/knowledge.

Kanga40Kanga40over 17 years ago
It is always a shame when authors enter the fray

of comments on their own story, except maybe with an explanation re delays or similar.

Every reader's opinion is valid, no matter how far it departs from what the author THINKS s/he meant to convey in their story.

Arguing with commentators or belittling their opinions may increase the comment count, but will never add to the author's credibility or to the likelyhood discerning readers will bother with the next story.

It is the author's brief to convey their ideas as clearly as possible to the reader. If a large proportion of readers do not agree with the author's opinion of what the author thought they wrote, then THE READERS ARE RIGHT, and the author failed in their job.

Okay, maybe you can say, "Three really clever people figured out what I meant", but what are you then inferring about the rest of us?

If you are writing for those three, email them your next story and don't bother with the rest of us silly buggers who know nothing.

But always remember, if too many readers don't 'get it', you didn't write right.

It's that simple!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Dear Authoress

How can you argue that your opinion based on a song is any more valid than ours who find fault with your now admitted intended delivery of a man foreign to 99% of us?

Your reasoning so stated was cuz you can - to be different - less cardboardish - how silly. Do you feel so comfortable as to disdain ("This is Fun")those who differ?

There are writers here much more talented than you but they don't have the credibility and the earned respect that drove it like you did.

Following that you happily said that our tainted memory of you was glaringly valuable to you and intended! In the morning's light and non-defensive clarity, I and many hope that your wish changes as it doesn't seem to be you - it won't wear well long-term.

So many comments should create more than pride. It should raise a flag of forward considerations - more or less.

Lastly, it is a mistake to take on the natives which you should know by now. Besides much was constructive as I read with most without serious venom - just why the disingenuous hug - the song didn't grant that licence - you did.

Hopefully it was a learning curve thing. If you want to write disrespectful unlikely human responses in a tale use another pen name to get it out of your system. Then you won't have to defend it as being intentionally counter to your respected norm.

Enough of this - please entertain us again as you - please.

Selena_KittSelena_Kittover 17 years agoAuthor
lastly...

To this:

"How can you argue that your opinion based on a song is any more valid than ours who find fault with your now admitted intended delivery of a man foreign to 99% of us?"

Not MORE valid. Just AS valid. And it happens much more often that you realize or would be reflected here.

To this:

"If a large proportion of readers do not agree with the author's opinion of what the author thought they wrote, then THE READERS ARE RIGHT, and the author failed in their job."

I might agree with you in any other category but this. I think LW is too polarized to make a true assessment. I think measure of success in this particular category has to be measured by amount of responses rather than actual content. In that, I seem to have succeeded. And even if your theory were correct in this case, if you look, the actual comments for or against understanding his motivation are quite evenly split. I do not believe that 50% counts as a "large proportion."

Again, thank you all for your comments. I'll leave you to them. :)

Selena

ErotonautErotonautover 17 years ago
Excellent Story

I'm rating this tale not for the erotic content, which was minimal, but for the sheer force of the narrative and your painfully accurate portrait of a marriage on the brink of collapse. Okay, so there's no tidy resolution, but how often do we get those in real life? Well done.

tony_tigertony_tigerover 17 years ago
Very powerful

Keep up the high-class work...

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Authoress - You Disappoint - Again

You defend the only half bad comments as good or better - how strange for someone who knows how an "H" is achieved.

Next - One reads Marital Consequence stories to see how the writer handles respect and self respect. Whether they are fair with their offended characters.

Lets try this. When you felt disrespected and defensive by some reader comments you addressed them as best you could to try to build back up your credibility (in some you tried to discredit to regain the edge you felt that you lost, in others you disrespected the readers who you offended).

You obviously understand that respect is paramount to any acceptance and therefore success - or we wouldn't see two rebuttal comments from you to try to regain reader respect.

So now that we know that you value respect and the credibility it drives, why did you disrespect your poor bastard husband who instantly and convolutedly hugged his now just discovered whore? Truly a braindead "and" sensitive male - cmon.

Because you could is one non-cardboardish answer, but it resulted in disrespect - carelessly dispatched by you and now felt by us of you.

Lastly constructive, perpetuating this exchange is less productive for you and adds more sludge to this lessor effort which needs to go away. Unless most comments and no more appreciative "H"s is your new direction?

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Holy crap, Batman!! This is good stuff!!

Selena, I bow to a masterful display of truly evocative writing. That you have successfully attained your goals is evidenced by the comments you've gotten. To have provoked such an emotional response from such a brief bit of writing is testament to considerable skill at your chosen art. Those who cry, "Hubby's a wimp!" are perhaps too accustomed to instant gratification. He hasn't even begun to figure out how he's going to handle this, he's still in shock. If he decides on revenge, there's time enough tomorrow. Likewise, I have no problem with 'the hug' because it is so obvious that they both are in considerable pain. Why is it so hard to believe that in a time of great anguish and confusion they would go to a place that has always represented shelter from the storm - the arm's of their spouse? Did the ending come too soon? Perhaps not for the author, but apparently YES! for many of the readers. Selena darlin', you may have struck gold here. Can you stand to not prospect for another nugget or two? I believe your story is as complete as you intended it to be, but like many other readers, I yearn to know more. Did she intend to get caught? Did he overwork out of guilt? Do they turn toward each other or away? C'mon Selena, can we have some more, please?

KublaiKhanIIIKublaiKhanIIIover 17 years ago
How about this compromise?

Any time a well established Lit. author scoring more than 10 "25"-or-below scores, they are forever banned from Lit?

I'm not talking about silly writers who strung 200 sentences of "I love to see my wife fucked by some big Black man" nonsense together,,,, I'm here talking about the more "serious authors" like Selena, et al.

Why's that? Here's why: Those writers who never put much effort into their writing, we don't really care to spend much time on their trash either; so we don't get pissed!

But well established, well known, authors like Selena,,,, If they dare waste our time, we should ban them!

Okay, maybe not forever,,, but how about ONE MONTH? That way, the next story they write, they had better think about US first before they post them! In the mainstream, paid literary world, if you write shit, NO ONE is gonn pay so you would never get publishers to bother with your trash anyway, so the readers are safe; we have no fear of wasting time reading unpublishable nonsense,,,

But here, since it is more or less "free," we don't want authors to waste our precious time. After all, they get more out of us than we out of them, believe it or not! Because they get more out of us, they should not be wasting our time, enticing us to read nonsense, when our time is precious and limited. We need to spend out free time reading only good stories.

And if you're a good writer and write idiotic stories, you, therefore, need to be punished!

asiaprofasiaprofover 17 years ago
Kittens do purr, but they also scratch...

And I'm still bleeding from the gashes your tale has left all over my heart....

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Commentary Projection

Powerful and raw. Strikingly realistic, much more so than many of the commenters seem to be seeking.

Real people confronted with the loss of everything they cherish don't react with elaborately plotted revenge scenarios. The wronged parties don't stand up on the high ground.

The first, most immediate reaction is shock. Numbness. Bewilderment. Not transformation into a master private eye or superspy.

"Loving Wives" is a tough category. So much anger. So much pain. So much seeking for catharsis--a hypertrophied revenge tale playing out the reader's fantasies. Many of these comments tell me much more about the commenter than the story or the author.

This story did what any great writing does: it created a powerful emotional response in the readers.

Nightowl22Nightowl22over 17 years ago
Yes, it's does seem like real life

And like real life, what DO you do? I don't really understand why women need to be wooed ALL their life. A man needs to have some certain home base, a rock. And for most of us, that's the wife. So what happens when she is not the rock and what do you do when you find out and how do you repair the damage should that be your preference.

Actually, I thought it was too bad he didn't bounce the guy off the walls. He would feel MUCH better. We know he isn't gonna bounce the wife around but what does he do?

DG HearDG Hearover 17 years ago
Interesing!

Look, The way I see it (like anyone cares) is everyone deals with their lumps in life differently. The story, the writing Excellent! Many vote on what they would have done in a giving situation. Votes should be given on the quality of the story and writing, not vote an author down because it didn't end the way you wanted too. If the author got your emotions flowing in any direction, than they did their job.

Anyway, Selena K. Great job, no wonder your considered one of the best

My hat's off to you

With the highest of regards.

DG Hear

Scorpio44Scorpio44over 17 years ago
Young folks might not get it

as easily as those with a few gray hairs (or none at all), but after all these years things aren't as black and white as they were years ago. You tell the story well.

Thanks.

capecodmercurycapecodmercuryabout 17 years ago
I don't know how I missed this.

Wow, the raw emotion in this piece is incredible. This story drew me into the characters and in very few words managed to convey a whole ton of information about the characters. As literature and fiction this piece is top rate.

In terms of the story, I thought it was real and powerful. I might not have responded the same way, but the reactions of every party were realistic and believable. Yes it was depressing and I could feel the pain of both the husband and the wife, but that was why it was so moving. This was the type of story that makes you think about how you would act in that situation.

Selena, I only hope that someday I can write a piece that matches this.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
incredible story

I am 21 and I have alot of feelings when it comes to relationships. I was a bit suprised by this story but I liked it very much. It was very honest and real and I amvery impressed. Keep up the good work.

-Crystal

shangoshangoabout 17 years ago
Make up your mind, Author

Either his Wife hated the familiar, or she didn't. If she did, she had no reason to cheat (not that theirs ever a real reason). If she didn't, the why the hug? I'm not saying the hug couldn't happen, just the probability of it is extremely low. I mean, it's POSSIBLE a meteor could hit the Earth and start a new Ice Age but you didn't write a tale about that.

spiderman1spiderman1about 17 years ago
hated it

I hated this story!

drksideofthemoondrksideofthemoonabout 17 years ago
Damn you!

You have so much talent. Your writing tears at my heart, your characters are so real. What do I say Selena? Your writing was magnificent. You've left me aching for your characters.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
so...

as a reader I missed the point...

a lot of narrative, a bit of dialogue and so what? where's the story? lazy work, beneath any author with pretty words strung together.

thebulletthebulletabout 17 years ago
Selena: You're way too good for most LW readers

A snapshot of a marriage that has endured more than its share of pain: a miscarriage, a child injured and mentally or emotionaly disabled - perhaps with one parent silently or unconsciously blaming the other for negligence.

A marriage grown stale with the sameness of life, the struggle to just survive through the pain, the financial hardships.

Clues abound about the marriage (as seen through the eyes of the husband), but only little clues - indicators of where troubles lie.

And yet the connection between the partners remains, I think; tenuous and ethereal perhaps.

Perhaps the wife committed adultery to escape her mundane and painful life for a moment - a natural outgrowth from her cooking classes, her computer instructions.

Whatever. This was a slice of a marriage's life; a finite beginning and ending point outside of which we can only make suppositions about the past and the future.

Selena, feeding stories like this to much of the Loving Wives' readership is kind of like teaching a pig to whistle. It doesn't accomplish anything and it annoys the pig. (kind of an RAH paraphrase going on there, I guess.)

Many of the LW nazis could never understand the point of a story like this. Their kneejerk reactions would never allow a modicum of thought to interfere with their interpretation of a story, and this story is all about making the reader think.

Come on, Selena. Trying to make an LW nazi think is an exercise in futility.

Still, I suppose there are people who look to see what is written rather than to determine if the outcome is within some very narrowly defined range of results.

Your story made me sad. It cut a marriage open and forced us to watch it bleed.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Anger - Without Relief - To What Purpose?

As da bullet said - to make us think? Marvelous conjuring there guy.<P>

I think this sucked - it implied that he would tolerate her and her lovers cock cuckolding him in their marital bed due to their years and troubles through them that she alone felt? And he didn't???<P>

And how did those years and troubles give her the right to cuckold him in their yet.<P>

I think bullet that you and the writer are way off base on this as it relates to life and it's realities. The man was hot but hold her and cry together. Now there is the reality of consequence for him but her? He is nothing but a keyboard figure of a contrived poor over weight balding bastard who she has feeling that he should just go home to mommy so she can make it better.<P>

bullet - this is a good writer but this isn't even close to her quality of work. Normally she writes well to life and the realities of consequence for the plus's and minuses it deals.. She doesn't write about pathetic pitiful men who aren't real.<P>

I am surprised at both of you for allowing this to be written this way and for it to be thought as a worthwhile provoker of thinking it was worthwhile! Instead it closed down any rational thought or reasonable extension of forgiveness.<P>

bullet - can you tell that your nazi comment pissed me off? All that while you sit on philosophers hill in PA. puffing smoke circles with your pipe in a snowstorm.<P>

Sorry Authoress. Generally I admire and am entertained by your work. Nuff said.

bornagainbornagainalmost 17 years ago
A Very Sad Story

Its a sad story of a stupid woman and a husband he comes home to find her fucking some stranger he should have divorced her right then then kick the crap out tof the stranger instead of just letting him leave .

Atlanta,Ga

Nightowl22Nightowl22almost 17 years ago
It seems incomplete

I guess he should have spent a lot more time holding her.. She wanted something different, a change and she sure found it.. What does he find now??

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
It happens in real life

it's true. how many forgive? some don't, others fall in the trap again. the endless void of pain, of the couple's both parts. i felt this incomplete, but then again, life is incomplete as this one. real bitter truth. very good story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
what the fuck was that crap

hubby comes home someone fucking wife in their bed.and he do what,who wrote this a kid.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
excellent story telling

This story does not have an original plot: as with so many stories, the husband comes home early and finds the wife with a strange man in their bed. However, the manner in which the author presents the story is decidedly different. He asks questions (shown in italizes). Then he proceeds to answer these questions through discussion between husband and wife. The author shows considerable insight into the husband and wife's thoughts given their having been together of a long time. I do agree with others that have commented that the story needs to be continued because there are questions remaining that concern understanding as a couple grows old and issue of aging and how this affects a couple physically and mentally. All in all I regard this as a great start to a "Loving Wives" story. RAG

Gary_LostGary_Lostalmost 17 years ago
I liked your story.

Your characters are very real, I could feel the pain of the husband and wife.

KOLKOREKOLKOREalmost 17 years ago
Again, beautiful but woefully incredible

It’s influenced by a poem and its coming very close to be a poem, with the emphasis on image and atmosphere rather than on narrative and plot development as you’d expect in prose. This is fine by me. But, I feel that you could have done best for you work and for the readers if you just let your female voice –your very strong dominant and clear female voice to be reflected through the woman’s character in the story. Instead, you chose to go out of your comfort zone (courageous, but such step should have come only after real character study - which had not happened here). Unfortunately, no amount of refined style could camouflage lack of familiarity with man’s perspective. I’ll have to say that this is not the first time when I read from a female author the fantasy of warm intimacy at the moment of discovering the women’s cheating. I can understand variety of motivations instinctual and otherwise for this fantasy, but again –depicting it as a man’s reaction to his wife’s cheating at the time of discovery is to put it mildly - incredible to the extreme. I have never encountered heard nor read of a man reacting in such manner (please, save the always correct infinitesimal statistical argument that there is some probability that there are such men). <P>

But hold the gender perspective – had you found you partner in life in bed with another, would you then move to an intimate tete –a- tete with your cheating partner at this time? Somehow I can’t see that.

Anonymous
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