All Comments on 'for sean'

Not politically correct

But a rather acid look at culture;

Watch those words burn.

are not going to do your poem justice. I'll have more time later in the week to be more specific and I'll pm you those comments if you like, but:

1. The poem, overall, is marvelous. There are whole sections of it that are lyrical in a rubbed-raw painful way

2. It starts off slow so the poem feels unbalanced to me. The second two-thirds of it are more interesting and certainly flow better than the first. I think maybe you are too concerned with explaining or setting the scene in the beginning.

3. The ending somehow seems like it's not enough. I understand you want to tell him you love him and feel a poet's solidarity with him even though you're not gay and that you are angry at yourself for not being able to do it, but I know that because I'm a poet myself and I'm intuitive. You need to explain with more clarity that you love him as a poet and hate yourself as a hypocrite because you're afraid of what he'll think (or do) if you say it.

Does this make any sense, R? Let me know if you want to discuss it more in pm (later in the week when I am NOT working).

Peace,

Angeline

This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 39,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.<br>

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