All Comments on 'A Slave's Story Ch. 03'

A fine start to what can be a great series. The two lead characters have a nice start, attention needs to be payed to the balance of interior monologies and the shared dialog of the two story lines. I read all six sections in one go in the alternating pattern suggested, this for me set up a dynamic close to the call and response of the blues or spirituals. This could be a problem if the object of the two story lines is to provide equal weight to both voices. May I suggest a point - counterpoint focus instead. This can be achieved by alternating which character should have the lead instalement and which should come second. Perhaps it is only my perception, but because I read the story M then S chapters in order, the M voice seems too close to a passive voice of naration and the S voice has more of the interior monologs.

An interesting possiblity to continue and expand this further would be a chain story. this is a very good start, please consider a continuation, perhaps with a female author to provide the counterpoint. Good luck, I will check for updates.

She, out of the blue, started to call him Master.

Pretty soon, he started calling her slave.

But, she does what she wants and he lets her. He must be inexperienced.

They seem to have skipped the step where she gives herself to him, and he accepts her.

When is he going to exert ANY control over her?