All Comments on 'Thoughts On Size'

by simpleup

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Write more

Outstanding essay. This was as well written as anything I've seen on Lit and you should contribute regularly. This work would suggest that writing is something you do for a living, and, if not,something you should consider.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
don't worry

Bravo for being so frank! Anyway, while it's true that some women are size queens, I think penis size actually matters more to men - the whole testosterone, alpha-male thing. I also read somewhere that a smaller penis is more likely to hit a woman's G-spot, so size queens probably don't know what they're missing. Oh, and would you really want to be with a woman who was so hung up on the length of your dick that she couldn't appreciate your many other fine attributes?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Size and (In)security

I enjoyed your commentary on the relationship between the size of your genitals and your perceived masculinity. I think you would find that most men, no matter how well endowed, are insecure about their size. I have been reassured many times that I am well-endowed, and still, I question whether or not I am "big enough," whatever that may mean.

Just remember, for every size, there are women out there who will appreciate that particular size. I have a close friend who measures somewhere near four inches, and his girlfriend is thoroughly satisfied.

Trust me. You are not the only man in the world that has less than five inches. I have spent plenty of time in locker rooms, and I have even experimented with other men. The men with less than five inches are at least as abundant as the men with more than seven.

It really has more to do with you becoming more comfortable with what you have been given. When you learn to accept yourself, you will find someone who will adore you, just the way you are.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
I never thought...

I never thought of this issue from this perspective probably because I am a female that desires size. With that said, I am one of the polite ones that attempt to find a way to work with what is available. My husband is not well-endowed, I wish, but that's not the case. I deal with it. I love my husband and definitely have fun in the bedroom. I'm trying to talk him into toys as a way around that particular issue but it hasn't worked yet :-(

Now for a suggestion (yes, I am one of those know-it-all females)...Go visit a different area, somewhere away from home, find a woman you like and initiate a conversation with a woman, play have fun, go on a date but don't get intimate...leave it alone before them. Have a few of those "outings" to build confidence...again, never anything sexual. This is an attempt to build on what you have to offer as a person...not as a sex partner. At the least, you'll have fun.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
excellent

monograph on a very

vexing topic

my advice and i speak

from actual real life

experience ....is to somehow

wrap your brain around your

lack of size and embrace it

and seek to get off on the

whole freaky nature of it

btw real macho big-dicked guys

get off BIG time on giving up

their perceived masculinity

in many D/s games with both

men & women ...the more you

have to 'give-up' the more

energy in the game ...therefore

even more pleasure

good luck tiny!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places

Good essay, and your frankness is admirable. Maybe you could specialize in something other than intromission. One could lavish all kinds of creative, extended oral attention on a tool like yours without their jaw hinges feeling like they'd put in two hours at the dentist having a crown put in. I mean, the 8" of man-meat is visually appealing, women have been conditioned over millennia to respond to it, but to be honest, going down on it feels too much like work. And as for what you can do for her, bear in mind that a tongue is more versatile than a cock, being prehensile and all.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightabout 17 years ago
Look at the bright side.

You made a lot of us men feel pretty damn good about ourselves! It's easy to say get over it, but dissicult for you to do. What do women want? Most want a man that provides a home, is considerate, faithful, intelligent, and dependable. Seldom will a woman worry about the size of the organ when choosing a mate. Being a man goes far beyond the size of the man, or his tool. It's attitude, Dude! (The stories on this site may not be the best reading material for you. Anything under a foot is laughed at.)

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 17 years ago
Show them your essay!

Corny as it might sound it’s still true: the biggest sexual organ is what’s between your ears, not what between your legs. It’s not meant to invalidate your points, just to put them in proportion (as I believe most posters have tried to do)

The quality of your essay in and of itself points to the fact that you have the intelligence and the skills to express yourself in a way that could win people’s minds. From there it’s not a giant leap to women’s hearts (it may surprise you but women are a sub group of that category). Some even say that winning their hearts could be as good a way to “win them” as impressing them by thumping your chest and prowling with a tight swim suit. From personal experience I could tell you that good old sense of humor was my best ally in approaching women, and to the extent that I was able to succeed further it also played a major role. Just an example.

So the one critique I have of your essay is not that you have not made your point, but that you have not maintained the right proportions of the relative importance of this one factor compared with all the rest.

I have a good feeling about you –at least as a writer, but actually it goes beyond that. Why won’t you write a follow up essay?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
A Natural - Submissive and Helpless & Sm. Cock

Exciting to be small and almost worthless isn't it writer.

Your first story of helpless submission kind of set this stage didn't it.

It seems your path is small and lessor to anyone else. It is just so humiliating and exciting huh.

Hopefully, the talent is used for more than the few weak needie lonely ones but do what you have to do below all else.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
=)

Just wanted to say thanks for your essay. Anything else to say would just mirror what the other commenters have said, but again, thanks for the well-written insight into life at the "lower end of the bell curve."

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Well written but wrong . . .

I think the author would benefit from some counseling for his insecurity. Masters and Johnson did a number of experiments with blindfolded, volunteer female subjects who had intercourse with a variety of male volunteers of different penis sizes. The women were not permitted to feel their partners' penises except via intercourse. The researchers found that the women could not discern the size of the men's penises based on the feeling during intercourse. The same was true for lubricated dildoes inserted into the women's vaginas. The researchers found that the vagina maintains the same pressure on the object, penis, whatever, no matter the variance in size or thickness. There was no difference in the time needed to reach orgasm for those women able to have orgasm with intercourse (some women have a great deal of difficulty achieving climax with intercourse or simply can't, irrespective of their partner's penis size). Based on this research, penis size must be a factor in a woman's enjoyment of intercourse in the same sense as a woman's breast size is relevant to a man's enjoyment of sex with a woman (basically it is a mental thing, not a physical thing). Of course, much of sex is what's in the brain, so one must still respect the fantasy aspect of sexual relations, but once again, physically there is no relationship between penis size and a woman's physical sensation during intercourse. And no, my size is larger than average and I'm not "just saying this" as some sort of excuse.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
It's not the size of the wand...

But the magic it weaves. Or so I think. I have been married for over 15 years to a man with a 4" penis. When flaccid it is pretty darn small. He has given me plenty of stimulation with his wand and in all seriousness the orgasms I have from intimacy with him are far better than the ones with my 8" super thick dildo.

My only sorrow with having a partner with a small penis is that some positions are difficult to achieve, but we have worked around that too.

Good luck and thanks for your excellent submission.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Enjoyed it...

I'm just slightly larger than you, so I pretty have had alot of the same thoughts. My way around though is usually to focus on the woman very intensely. Watch her, try to do what she seems to like, and make her feel good. Obviously, this is always good, but it helped me block out that bit of anxiety. Also, and I guess this is obvious, but try to get first encounters in the dark. Like a previous poster said, it's mental for women too, so if they enjoy it BEFORE they see the size, it's much less likely to be a factor.

Anyway, it's always good to read something honest and open like this, thanks.

BazzzBazzzabout 17 years ago
No one's perfect

A well written essay. Everyone has a fault that constantly rolls around in their head and hinders their success, be it with women, in business, etc. Afterall we are all humans aren't we?

At least your shortcoming (sorry about that) is one that you can't try to hide to the point of being ridiculous. Just check out the bald guy with the massive comb over or worse yet the big ass rug, the fat guy trying to hide his girth or the desperate short guy wearing lifts. Now if you think women won't go for a small penis try one of those gimmicks and see how it works for you.

gatorhermitgatorhermitabout 17 years ago
Good essay, but...

I think there's an analog the author missed: dicks and tits. Sure, C and D titties are fun to look at and play with, but some of my best memories are with A ladies. Many A ladies wish to be a B or bigger (just as men would like to be bigger), but it ain't gonna happen for them either without plastic (which has another set of issues) although the pill sometimes helps. My good memories came from ladies with the right Attitude (HDK is correct), which didn't have anything to do with size (theirs or mine).

And then there's the joke about the guy whose Genie is partly deaf... he ended up with a 12" Bic... and then a million ducks...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
You are not just one characteristic

I was talking to the woman next to me at a Bar Mitzvah dinner this weekend. We’re friendly bun not friends. In the course of a wide-ranging conversation she said that men and women are so different; in particular, men don’t understand women. I asked what we should know about women. She said women aren’t looking for one particular thing as far as men are concerned. Their interest is based on the whole package.

This didn’t relate to anything else in the conversation and I assume it had to do with something between her and her husband. But she considered it the key concept in male/female understanding. I think the concept relates directly to this topic. It’s one aspect and won’t take on overriding importance unless you make it by diverting all attention to the one issue.

The study mentioned in a previous comment, that women can’t determine size without additional information. It seems to be the perception of size, rather than size itself, that matters. How big do you have to be for successful phone or cyber sex? It’s because the key elements of sex are in the mind. Imagine the ideal body for your tastes for a moment, the body that makes your mouth water. Now pull back and imagine that it belongs to your 80 year old grandmother. Is there any difference in the level of excitement evoked by those two images? It’s in your head.

Confidence is in your head. Most women find it appealing. If you focus on a single characteristic such as size, height, hair, clothing, wealth or being well-spoken as disqualifying you from being appealing, you will probably be unappealing; not for the reason you focus on, but because of its effect on your confidence. If you portray yourself as not worth spending the time to get to know, people will believe you. You should know you best, probably not true, but that is the perception. Others will tend to defer to your opinion.

Some stories here depict women (and men) being driven to the brink of orgasm by words alone. If you haven’t had the experience yourself, ask around; I’m sure you’ll find someone who has. You can obviously express yourself effectively. It may be that size does count and that you have one of the biggest vocabularies around.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Someone once said

You are as big as you think.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Intesting Topic

A good piece of work- your efforts are appreciated.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Self Confidence

More than a few studies have now been completed with the conclusion that you are inborn with a level of self confidence. You may be able to raise that level somewhat but any real elvation will collapse into arrogance.

What you have said in your essay, merly proves the fact that in whatever competion life throws at you, some of you are going to lose.

The only question I would have for you about your submissiveneess is : do you mind being submisssive or do you enjoy being submissive

But remember by the time you get really old the long dongs will probably be no longer asstiff or as big as they were.

You have explained most of your situation very well

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Nice

Sounds like most women I've been with.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
Well done...

I am more or less exactly the same size, and am bi. In general I find women are more tolerant of lack of size than men, guys are very explicit about nearly universally preferring a well hung guy. But at this size you do inevitably get comments, and occasionally do get dumped for an inability to satisfy, that's life.

I do need to rebut the comment about comparing a guy with a very small cock to a woman with A cup breasts...I made that mistake once with a woman who chuckled upon seeing my small but rock hard cock for the first time. I compared it to her still bra covered A cups. She demonstrated quite effectively how invalid the comparison was when she refused to let me get her bra off, and enjoyed pointing out that no one would plead for my cock that way I was pleading for her breasts!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Me too

My wife and I had great sex for over 50 years and had 4 children. I always made sure that she had an orgasim even if I coudn't do it with my penis.

NaughtyBunny85NaughtyBunny85about 13 years ago

As a female with a fiance who isn't very large I can say it really doesn't matter, most women are smaller then men realize down there any way and a too large penis only causes discomfort and sometimes pain. I was with a guy from age 14 till I was 21, who was at least 6-7 and I NEVER HAD AN ORGASM till I had sex with my now fiance because guys who are bigger think that their size is enough, trust me knowing how to use your body and her body to pleasure a woman is more important than size.

abc101abc101almost 13 years ago
I think your better off than me...

Im 21 and I have about 5.7 inches but i have never had sex or a girlfriend.

..... I was teased a lot growing up for other reasons and had multiple family traumas occur since i was young. These moments of my past, i believe caused me to develop a introverted lifestyle that is slowly killing me. At least you have had sex. I unfortunately, due to my fear of people, will most likely die a virgin (which is my greatest fear).

I plan on seeing a psychologist soon to see if they can help me break my fears and introverted-ness. I'm hoping it will help me. I suggest you do the same, they might help you feel better.

..... Good luck to you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
You're not alone

I'm pretty much the same size and have a lot of the same thoughts and fears. I have been with only one woman (I'm the only one she's been with too) and we've been together for 15 years. I always have this little fear in the back of my mind that if we hit a little rough patch in our sex life she might go in search of a hung guy, find that it's much better and leave me. I've been to therapy and I know these thoughts are totally unfounded since there has never been any evidence from her that this would ever happen. I guess I wanted to say that it never goes away completely, society has built it into all our heads that bigger is better.

From my findings on "does size matter" I would say that it is important to some women. For the majority of women, (my wife included) they would give up a monster schlong for a guy that is confident, skilled and sensitive to her needs in the bedroom. A positive stereotype about under-endowed guys is that we're amazing at oral. I embrace this and it makes a lot of difference. You're obviously an intelligent guy, so use that big brain and do some research on technique. The next time you get intimate, don't even take your pants off, go immediately down on her. Once you've given her an oral orgasm or two she shouldn't care what you're packing. Knowing you have this ability will also give you that confidence you're lacking. Again, great artcle and even though its anonymous youre still brave for writing so openly about yourself.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Hey there

Had a few partners on the smaller side, personally prefer it as you can really feel it. Having confidence in the experience is key. As long as you're confident to communicate your desire for your partner then everything should be fine.

The thing that really gets in the way when you worry about any aspect of your sexual performance is the worrying is making you focus on yourself and your partner doesn't feel desired. Making someone feel desired is basically the basis of seduction.

If you are thinking "what if she doesn't like my penis" over and over again, then what your body is going to communicate to the woman is: "we are not sexually compatible" and "this isn't going well". If you are thinking "fuck, she is so hot" then your body is going to communicate that and she is going to feel hot. It is very simple. People just want to feel desired.

Women who really care about what size your penis is (and aren't just saying it as revenge for how men have made their body parts feel commodified - many are) are about as good as the kind of men that only sleep with girls under a certain age. At the end of the day, they are only limiting their own experiences.

A viable solution for you - I strongly recommend hypnosis (you can get recorded sessions online) to give you a different outlook on things. Gets lumped in with the New Age /Alternative Medicine crowd but it has always worked for me.

You got nothing to lose. Don't like to see men suffering with body issues but pleased to see openness regarding it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Your masculinity is very much in question.

Have you considered panties? You can be more of a "girlfriend" to the women you are attracted to and help them find lovers whose masculinity is not in question. Sit in the corner in your panties and watch how a real man fucks.

blackhillsbbwblackhillsbbwover 9 years ago
Interesting read...

Man, you write so well. And I love that it's your thoughts. What i'm curious about is has this 'penis envy' of other men's perceived 'endowments' been blown out of proportion? I have been with some guys that are small, but I would never call their penis 'cute'. Nor would I have to stifle a chuckle. Am I weird? Maybe so, but i'm also honest and I cannot imagine that a person's masculinity needs to automatically come in question unless there are leanings in that direction anyway. If there are, then that is fine; to each their own. But something sure went awry in making you think that a 5" should strip you of that masculinity. I think it's a shame really. I have to agree though that our society is 'stuck' on size. I'm a big girl, and I've battled that image and criticism for years because Hollywood or media cannot even fathom that plus size women can be admired let alone preferred. But what has helped me are the men out there and yes there are plenty of them, that DO desire me with all my so called societal failings. So I surround myself with those BBW admirers because they build me up; not tear me down. Perhaps you really need to get more in touch and find out if you really have more leanings towards being dominated and being more feminine in the process. It does kind of sadden me you feel this way and that life has played this trick on you, but only you can figure it out.

NthusiasticallyNthusiasticallyover 8 years ago
Small is Good . . .

from my POV as a petite lady. Copulation was painful due to the size (& lack of skill) of my partners. If any of them had been your size, I wouldn't have had to wait til I was 50 to learn it didn't have to hurt. I'm sure there are other ladies like me who prefer men your size.

DarkAurther6969DarkAurther6969about 1 year ago

Was there a Point to this? Because I was hopping it would one of those "I Have a Small Dick So What I'm Prod of it" But No Instead I got from it a Shit Load Of Whining "Wha Wha Wha I Have A Small Dick" Booo Hoooo Hooo Hooooooooooooooo! In the words of Tony Soprano "Oh Poor You You Got A Small Dick Oh Poor You"

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