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It's Only Peanuts

byhansbwl©
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Comments (68)
by Anonymous

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by Harryin VA01/20/07

This story is pathetic and mindless drivel

every singe stiory this author has written has been about a Husband tkiaing all sorts of vile nasty shit from the wife who cheats and HE crawls back to her...

the only excpetion to this was his sequel to "Ddoes honesty pay? " But again if you read this author 1st version of that story you can see the trend

Let me see if I have this`story right...

wife has been cheating on husband for a year.... fucking a 70 years old... b/c he has a normal size dick....

and the husband is ok with this b/c the old man died?

how can this Husband /wimp sleep at night knowing a 70 year dried up cock was able to do a fer better job than he was?

and that she was willing to risk DEATH-- peanut allergy can cause death-- rather than go home and stay faithful to him???

wow what a quality womam... and what a awful story

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by Anonymous01/20/07

Gone To The Other Downside

Why an oversize wimp story?

It makes you look bad writer.

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by thebullet01/20/07

What a bunch of knee-jerk losers!

Geez, you Loving Wives Nazi's have no stinkin' sense of humor. You NEVER get the point of a story like this:

The WHOLE point of the story was the punchline. It was ALL about cock size. They rest of the story was peripheral to the twist that his cock was TOO BIG, rather than too small, which is what the average reader would have assumed from the start.

This is not great literature but it is fun literature. Would you guys loosen up for just a second? Would you forget your simple formula: "if he leaves her he's a man, if he stays he's a wimp". Ignore your kneejerk reaction and read the damn story for a change.

I liked this one. hansbwl came up with a new twist, one that worked.

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by Alvaron5301/20/07

A wonderful problem to have ;)

Nicely done, loved the twist. Thanks for an entertaining read!

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by Alvaron5301/20/07

Sheesh, fellas. Lighten up.

Oh and I forgot to say: I agree with Andrew. You guys are wound way tight. Lighten up, live a little, laugh once in a while, it'll do you good. And that goes for you too, Harry.

Oh, and I still love "Death by Fucking", A.W. Thanks for that wonderful tale. It's still my favorite.

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by Anonymous01/20/07

So SO

Mildly amusing. Saying that his size was a problem was a give-away. The lack of any real emotion from contributed to the overall blandness. Not much humor.

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by Anonymous01/20/07

actually

My wife, before she was my wife, adopted a Korean girl. She had a terrible marriage hating sex because her husband was so huge and she was so small. She married a "little" guy and has had a good marriage for years. So it is possible.

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by ohio01/20/07

shame about all the invective

Hansbwl, your story seems to have inspired a lot of readers to shout epithets at each other! However, that's their problem.

I enjoyed the story; at first I thought you had misled the reader about the cock size issue, but then I understood that it was a deliberate twist at the end, and it worked for me.

It did seem to me that the husband was awfully quick to forgive what was, after all, a lengthy betrayal. But I can see that under the circumstances the affair did not threaten his marriage.

Best, ohio

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by Anonymous01/20/07

Good fun story!

For all intents & purposes, this one is light-hearted and somewhat funny. Of course, she is a stupid slut and really deserves a discreet bullet in the head; however, life goes on.

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by Risq_00101/20/07

............

Wow!!

I have to go with Harry here:

-Wife is cheating on husband.
-Has been cheating on the husband for a year.
-Wife wants to feel a "smaller" cock is the reason
-According to the story, having sex with a "smaller" man is what made her feel "closer" to the husband
-Man was 70 years old.
-Wife only got caught because she broke her routine and went to a bar when she found out he was in the hospital.
-Because the man was dying, somehow this made the wife's year of cheating and lying ok. That he could forgive her because the other guy was no longer in the picture. Nope that didn't make him seem pathetic.
-The wife never would have "stopped" her cheating on her husband if he wasn't dying.
-If she hadn't ended up in the hospital she never would have told the husband about her cheating.

And to make this all better was the fact she said she was sorry she got caught. And because the husband was "Hung like a Mule" this made the story funny and humorous.

Yeeeaaaa Right!

If this is supposed to be funny it sorely missed the mark as far as I'm concerned. How is it funny that the wife was cheating because the husband was too big and she never would have confessed or got caught if the other man didn't end up getting sick. She wasn't sorry she was cheating she was sorry she got caught and might have to pay some concenquences. And she went to his funeral as the other woman to pay her respects.

Can't say I liked this story much.

-Risq

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by Bazzz01/20/07

Creative story

That was a pretty nice twist at the end and the rest of the story was well written and imaginative.

Unfortunately bringing a cheating wife into a Literotica story regardless of how good the story and you will get some pretty nasty comments unless she is somehow left destitute or dead in the end. Anyone who automatically hates a story for just one reason is a very closeminded person.

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by Anonymous01/20/07

why did they get married

when people write dumb plot and you see it as a dumb plot don't get mad write better.writers can make people sound so stupid in the word of the plot,like wife says it alright about the size of the penis.if something was worrying the hubby about wife and his penis,find out before marriage.how can he trust the wife again or have respect for her after sleeping with another man.

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by TiggerToo01/20/07

Nice twist.

I agree with all who noted that the story is just a vehicle to carry the irony of the twist. We all ask for something different but many don't recognize it when it shows up and hits them over the head.

Well done and thanks for writing.

Phil

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by Anonymous01/20/07

I am confused!

You wrote a story entitled "Letter to a superstud" where you went over the top in revenge on the cuckolder. Now this story about a wife who is caught because of her allergic response to peanuts and it is ok because her vagina gets larger with pregancy.

First, this story should have been placed in the non-erotic category because it reads like an essay. So Linda cheats on him for a year every two weeks and it only ends because her lover has a heart attack. Linda had a reverse size queen fetish such that 2 years after marrying David all of her talk about his penis size not mattering was a lie.

I do not understand why Linda worried about David's reaction to her cheating because he took it petty well. David is the kind of undertanding guy every cheating wife wants.

SleeplessinMD

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by Anonymous01/20/07

Put it in humor/satire next time.

Pretty long set-up for a joke that could have been told in a paragraph, though.

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by Nucleus01/20/07

Good humor

It did a long while till I've understand.
Thank you, I laughed with tears in my eyes.

Nucleus

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by Anonymous01/20/07

Thanks

that was a fun story to read
not very realistic (a woman telling her husband she cheated because his dick is too small, and only letting him know because she ends up in hospital, and he doesn't dump her? haha..), but that peanut allergy..nice find.
I like your style of writing as well.
So, thanks for the story :)

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by bornagain01/20/07

wimp of a husband

The wimpy husband should have dumped her for cheating for telling a complete stranger of her husband s over size cock that is humiliating enough for him she should have never said anything then she has the nerve to ask him to let her go to the mans funeral that is a crappy thing to ask the husband
Pat.
Atlanta,Ga

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by Anonymous01/20/07

PUSSY IGNORANCE

Dont any of u writers know anything bout a pussy, this story is bout as stupid as the women needing big dicks. A womans pussy will {stretch} get bigger, but it goes back down. if a woman cannont take a man, her pussy is too small and will never take a large man, they also have problems with giving birth, usually have to have c section. a womens pussy is like mens dick, everyone has different sizes. But a woman can make her pussy seem smaller by learning to use her pussy muscles. A smart woman knows this, but u never hear about it in a story, thats why i believe bout all stories are written by men.

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by Anonymous01/20/07

I am curious about something.

The story concept was not bad, but it was too short and did not develop the characters. The ending revealed very little.

But I am curious as to what the wife did to merit forgiveness and a reconciliation.

Cheers!

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by Anonymous01/20/07

Good work

I appreciate that English is not your primary language so the usage didn't really bother me. I also appreciate the humor of the unexpected twist at the end. Unfortunately, in the final analysis, we have a wife betraying her husband in a year-long affair and hubby essentially responds by apologizing for the size of his dick and giving her a free pass. How sad. A big dick with absolutely no balls.

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by studebakerhawk01/20/07

Good work

I appreciate that English is not your primary language so the usage didn't really bother me. I also appreciate the humor of the unexpected twist at the end. Unfortunately, in the final analysis, we have a wife betraying her husband in a year-long affair and hubby essentially responds by apologizing for the size of his dick and giving her a free pass. How sad. A big dick with absolutely no balls.

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by KOLKORE01/22/07

Not the penis size again!

It’s boring! Boring! Boring! Sorry sir. You write in a certain context. So much repeats itself to some degree. You go and collect the top most repeated clichés. Why are you doing it, to yourself and to the readers?
I thought the penis size issue would be secondary at most to somehow the peanut allergy issue, suggested by the story title. No can do. It’s the same tired disinformation and cliché, combined yet again with another wimp story cliché, combined with an absurd deal between two thick headed cheaters riding on the mindless “understanding” husband. PLEASE!

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by jaggers005307/25/07

amazin!

your from Norway and another writer,Winterfrog, is also.i think he is,his profile says Scandinavia. both of you write the same style. it must be a Noregian thing,no matter how badly the wife shits on the husband, it seems to be ok.

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by zed011/22/07

Funny!

Clever reversal stereo type story, had you put it in humor and satire I may have given a better score, but cheating wives that are given a free pass by wimp husbands (and wimp writers) invariably get the double goose egg.

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by striker101704/28/08

What a crock

I don't usually blast a whole story,but this is absolutly the worst story I have ever read.Not only was it unbelievable, it was an insult to think that you would think this would be anywhere near entertaining.You've got to be kidding!!!

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by bruce2206/21/08

Well constructed

The author played a head trick on me. Everything went
along in a well-known manner but then his tiny cock turned
into a giant cock. Nicely done!

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by Anonymous06/25/08

oh please

if husband wanted woman w huge breasts, and played that out, would she have been so compassionate ? she wanted to be forgiven for her prolonged daliance. a reason to cheat. pat is right, leave her to her own guile and let him not have to deal with that.

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by Anonymous10/28/08

Such a load of BS

A cheating wife is a cheating wife. She lied to her husband and carried on a sexual affair. Going to bars and picking up men. My guess is the husband is about as smart as a ST Bernard and has one's dick. She has been cheating long term for an extended period. D I V O R C E is the answer. She didnt love her husbard, respect him or her marriage. She lied, cheated, committed adultry, and exposed both of them to sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. Yeah you might keep her, pimp her out as an escort and make a few dollars on her.

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by JackWoody11/05/08

Big Dick.

I liked it!! Made me laugh. Almost spewed beer on the monitor. More could have been added to explain the conception of the child. He must have loved her to take her back. After all, with a big dick, I hardly think he had self esteem issues or worried about her straying again.

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by Anonymous12/10/08

Big dick, small dick, who gives a damn. She is

a lying deceiving adulterer that fucks around on her husband. And had done so for a year and only told the truth because of an accident. No remorse there. And you writer left the two together. I guess in this case humor is more important than honor, respect, and loyalty, as well as fidelity in marriage. What this slut deserved is a divorce clear and simple then she could have all of the normal sized dicks she wanted. And he even touched her again, yuck.

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by Anonymous12/18/08

peanut oil is a natural lubricant

He should make her a peanut butter samdwich for lunch to help her heal. Or rub peanut oil on his cock so he can enter her more easily.

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by Anonymous02/25/09

Mentally Retarded

Her husband may have a big cock, but he must be mentally retarded if he does not realize she had repeteadly cheated on him. Whether she had sex for love or lust, and her lover was old or not, widower or not, the fact is she cheated on him over and over without any regrets. I think the story line is weak and even unrealistic. It had potential, but the end was not plausible unless he's a willing cuckold and likes sloppy seconds. How can he even believe her child is his if she is a cheater? I may be wrong but I think they did a lobotomy to his brain while he was sleeping, or his body was taken over by aliens...

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by Anonymous03/04/09

this is a zero

and i have the GWB to sell

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by Anonymous03/06/09

for better or worse

she didn't like the size, anything else? feed her peanuts before he walks out the door

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by Anonymous04/14/09

Peanuts--B.S.

He should stick a bag of peanuts up her ass, her cunt, and her mouth. NOW watch the skanky whore slut swell--up.

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by JamesMcIntyre05/12/09

You are very cruel

It's not fair to the Anon morons to write a story this amusing. If you tie up their brain cell with indignation it can't be used for humour.

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by Anonymous11/10/09

Well as one Anon moron with a graduate degree in

in physics I didnt feel amused. In reality, get that, it doesnt matter why she cheated, only that she did. Worse yet here is his wife discussing with a virtual stranger their sexual relations and her concerns over his cock size. Then she has sex with this guy just so she can enjoy it. Tell me clever JamesMcIntyre how many other ways a wife can tell her husband she has so little respect for him and their marriage. Wonder if it was bareback, no matter the medical risk are still there. And in a bar by herself talking to a man, wow, lying to her husband, then getting her allergy to announce to everyone she is a slut. Maybe hubby can get ground peanut powder, drop it in her lunch bag and send her to work. Better she goes away without having to divorce her, hehe. Bet dear old JM likes cuck stories. By the way the humor isnt that hubby is to large for her, it is because he actually accepted her story and kept her.

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by Anonymous11/11/09

CRAP

I would have rubbed peanut oil on my cock and fucked her up the ass in her cheating skank ass cunt and shoved a bag of peanuts in her mouth.....then off to the hospital and shoved her out the car door at the hospital and said die bitch die

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by bigguy32301/05/10

Fuckin Cheatin Slut

I'd see to it that she either died from exposure to peanuts or committed suicide because of her fear of my revenge.

Fuckin cheating bitch

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by YornH03/10/10

She belongs in the gutter

The nice twist in this story is that the man, for once, is too LARGE - not small.
Apart from that, she cheated on him for a year - that's how much she loves him - and he forgives her fucking around because now she is "blocked out" so he'll fit in too.
Is that a reason to forgive long-term adultery? Not in my book.
She should have been thrown out - there are plenty of women out there that, most likely, would be able to stay faithful - particularly, if I understand women right, if he has such a large dick. That's what they all fawn about, isn't it?
Throw her out!!!

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by jasonnh06/01/10

It's not about the sex

OK, this was a cute reversal of the wife looking for a big cock story. But when are writers going to understand it's not really about the sex. Big cock, small cock, man, woman, old, young, oral sex, anal sex, no actual sex. It's about the lies and betrayal of the relationship and the marriage. No one gets to have everything they want in life. You often have to make sacrifices. Sometimes by choosing one thing for yourself you exclude other things. Sometimes you make such choices for the benefit of others. She made a SELFISH choice, just like all cheaters. It was calculated and long running. She made the choice to marry KNOWING the size of her husband's cock. She SHOULD have made the decision to live with it and maybe start stretching herself with some dildos. So NO, what she did wasn't OK. Her husband's reaction is just ridiculous. "OK dear, you've had an affair for a year and it's OK". It takes all the energy of the story and pisses it away. "Golly honey, you were backing down the driveway and ran over the mailman and killed him. But it's OK." It's a dumb and unrealistic reaction and negates any value to the story. The husband is not even a wimp because a wimp would probably be upset but not willing to take any action. He's a ZERO. No emotion, no energy. And that's how the story ends up as well.

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by JeffTom06/25/10

Who's baby is it?

You left me in the cold not knowing who's baby it is. After a year does not tell me much. The baby could be 5 month old at that time. Would she keep up cheating if her lover had not passed away?

You relay need to finish the story in a little more detail.

But I thank you for writing the story.

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by RePhil08/12/10

What a twist

Great twist in the story very unique especially him being over sized didn't see that one coming. Nguve us some more

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by BaronScrewtape03/06/11

Thing is...

He should get some strange on the side as well, and then let her know so she can understand what it feels like.

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by BILLYTHEGER03/25/11

UTTER SHITE

SHE IS A CHEATING WHORE HE SHOULD OF SLUNG HER OUT

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by FD4504/24/11

Tripe

Now it would have been funny if he bought her bar story, got a little suspcious, and then had to go to the hospital AGAING because she has TWO pair of swollen lips...

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by POMPEDEPUISARD05/25/11

Funny Twist

Funny, since it seems to be carved in stone here that the more outlandishly large a penis is, the more it tempts infidelity. Hard to believe that there aren't one or two women about that find mule type "equipment" not to their liking as in this story.

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by DWornock07/24/11

Peanut BS

At that point I quit reading and rated it 1*.

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by chytown02/15/12

Good Read!!

Funny story great twist to it. Thanks for sharing.

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