by angiquesophie
There are those who will get upset by the sentence, "Drop dead, Paul. Go to hell. You are a scheming, jealous bitch." Get a life. Change 'bitch' to 'bastard' and you're good to go. <P> I'm really enjoying this one and looking forward to more. Thanks for writing. <P> Phil
So far this is a vast improvement over your last story. Let's see what happens from here.
for future writing,most men don't like another man kissing and feeling up his wife in public.that what most men call disrespect for her husband,which cause distrust in your wife.paul did if that what he saw,was the right thing for a friend to do.
You have had two times to get to the meat of it. Did Betty cheat. I really wouldn't blame her as jules is an uptight asshole. He knows how to manage money does he? Glad i'm poor. If this is how you get when you know how to manage money then I would rather stay human.
Jules seems so tied up in his own little world of money management I hope that Betty is fucking Robert. Won't suck his dick? Well maybe he should wash the fickin thing.
OH!!!I know perhaps the writer is just trying to think of a way to end the story...without tell us anything except all the ANGUISH he feels.
Tip from an editor: just one word can throw a story. Phil can say that the reader can just substitute bastard for bitch (they are not mind readers) and that will be fine, but the expression "jealous bitch" can shock the reader out of the story's credibility and enjoyment because it's too feminine.
amazes me. you're really good. men also have emotions, their doubts and insecurities. it is sometimes easier to think that everything is alright rather than confronting the truth and having to start all over again.
love the title,btw. waiting for the next chapter.
"Jealous bitch" is what a gay man would say to his former gay lover. Are you setting us up for the twist that Jules is bi? Don't want to make too much of this phrase, but it is out character for straight guys. But enough of the rumination and hanky twisting. Time for some proof Jules! Move the plot along.
angiquesophie: You do have a deft touch. I can truly see the story as I read it. (PP) I agree with 'TiggerToo" and the fellow from Texas regarding the use of the word "bitch." It's not a word that many men would use. Perhaps if you had prefaced it with "son of a" it would have rung more true. I might add "despicable little man" to avoid as well. And as was pointed out by another commenter, the "touchy feely" behavior of her boss would not fly in the States. From reading your bio I see you reside in Amsterdam. Decorum is most likely different there. (PP) I continue to enjoy 'Jules'' persistent refusal to accept the possibility of his wife being unfaithful. It was abetted by the reassurances he was given by his secretary. At this point infidelity actually hasn't been established. Well meaning though it may be, it's only 'Paul's' word that condemns her. One nitpik if I may, I don't speak French. I get the gist of some it, but I'd really like to know what's being said. (PP) For a female author you have ably depicted a male's emotions. Please don't hurry in a writing a conclusion. I'm really enjoying your story.
...is a turd! He gets the truth from his "friend" Paul and then he craps on him. The whole story line is rather inane, to be frank. Jules goes to Paul again for confirmation then blasts him for telling the truth. What friend would do that? Silliness begets silliness and since the rest is already written I don't expect it to get better.
I've read ALL chapters, including this two.
I'am very impressed.
Very good story. I like it.
Nucleus
*think, you had inspired me to ... ;-) -------------------would be ok for you?
I have read the rest of this story. Harry is right-- its bad. Calling Paul a <b> jealous bitch </b> is soooo gay I am surrised Harry hasnt blown his top. In fact the very act that the husband would talk to his secty for a touchy feely session regarding IF Paul is telling the truth is something STRAIGHT do NOT do.... that is something Women and Gay folks do.
The writing is superb. And best of all Betty has not yet suggested that Jukes be castrated! A plus as far as this writer. Loving the story and eager for more.
The constant tune the writer plays is weak, helpless and wimpy men. Why is that? As you read to the end on it gets worse as is her norm.
Obviously she writes to a small audience into sub males into disrespect and helplessness. And yes I know that she writes so well but sucks subject and viewpoint wise. Could be amazing if she got out of the male submissive bent???
I'm reasonably sure that she never will write to a larger audience given her predilections.
Another well written chapter. I love the suspense of these first two chapters. As you can probably tell by the comments you have us all guessing. We normal readers are really up in the air about this thing while the trolls are practically crapping their pants at the thought that they may be reading a story that might involve sexual feelings between two men. If that turns out to be the case the comments after that chapter will be downright hillarious. While I usually enjoy peppering Big Phil from Norcal with verbal jabs he has been spot on with his comments regarding your first two chapters. You are European thus your charactors will act European which is a change of pace for us Americans. While I have enjoyed the subtle change of pace you are building the evangelical troll sector into a rage. Good job.
Your writing is poetic and filled with emotion. I have a feeling that this one is going to hurt.
Love how you build the readers belief that she really loves him. Comes across as very authentic. Five stars.
So far the guy just comes across as an insecure wimp, he should either confront her directly or hire someone to find proof, rather than ineffectually circling around the matter.
I am so caught up in this story and your magnificent writing. 5
"More to the point: was I a pathetic fool?"
The reader must respond: "Apparently so."
Starting to feel a little draggy...
LWlurker
A woman writing man's perspective here is just all wrong.
This isn't how a man reacts when his oldest and closest friend tells him he caught the wife cheating. Or in a situation that looks an awful lot like cheating.
He would be upset. But he would immediately begin to plan with that friend to see the evidence with his own two eyes.
"If you are so sure about what you saw, then let's wait until the next time she is "working late" and you help me figure this out once and for all."
That's it. There wouldn't be this tormented dilemma between having to choose between wife and best friend.
You trust that your best friend saw something. And you verify for yourself. And then if it's true? You dump the stupid cheating whore.
And number one thing you stop doing is going down on that bitch's cunt. Don't put your mouth anywhere near that swampy hole.
Especially if she's suddenly stopped giving you blowjobs.
Tell her the same damned thing. That she stinks. She tastes like a garbage dump. That you gag every time your mouth gets within 18 inches of her pussy. That you just simply cannot even consider the thought of performing oral sex on her...