You really need to write more about these two...I loved the story, but it was too short for me.
I enjoyed this story even though it was too short. You had a much larger story here but you apparently failed to see it. The conflict that your girlfriend was into over wanting sex with you as opposed to her societal prejudice against lesbian sex is the real meat of the story. What will turn her from her current path of self denial? Will she or won't she? How badly does she want you? What does she feel when she thinks of you. Just how strongly does she feel it? What awesome power compels her to resist you and returns her to her self-denial and frustration. How does she feel about that? What was that awesome power over her that you had to overcome with your story to make her finally give herself over to you. Often we write just to find a story. once we find the story, we delete what we wrote and then build and write the story we found. I hope you'll give it a try because you found a very nice story here that could have romance as well as sex, but you didn't write it yet. Also try naming your characters. It makes them seem more real.
I gotta admit, at first I hated this story because it hit pretty close to home...But as time goes on I realize it's a really hot story, very well written.
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