All Comments on 'The Photo Ch. 02'

by Incoming

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  • 137 Comments
allforallallforallabout 17 years ago
Wheted my Interest

You definitely have a cliff hanger here. Don't make us wait so long for the next chapter

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
this wasn't your style

presure got to you and you gave in.

DesertPirateDesertPirateabout 17 years ago
OK

Now that you have my attention. I really want to see where this one goes. Have fun and run with it.

Harryin VAHarryin VAabout 17 years ago
well lets see What we KNOW ...

This chapter is too short but so far so good...

<br></br>

Talking as a former PI....

<br></br>

The Husband accuses his wife of cheating on him and has a photo as some sort of proof. Later that day Wife demands to see the photo...

<br></br>

why wouldn't the wife demand to see the proof that second? <b>why wait all day? Would YOU? </b>

<br></br>

Not me. Once my wife did WRONGLY accuse me of cheating or trying to cheat. I Blew up for Hours and stormed out of the house. She waits until the end of the day....

<br></br>

so the wife's reaction is Odd.... no? Then the wife says this <br></br>

<i>

"Jack, I want to see the photo. I was very upset after you left. You have accused me of behaving inappropriately and being unfaithful to you. I have never been unfaithful. I want to see the photo, NOW!" </i>

<br></br>

all she has done is Deny the cheating ... she does NOT say <b>Jack I have never behaved inappropriately and

I have never been unfaithful..... </b>

<br></br>

Lastly unless the wife is a very cool customer he could do a search of her clothes and shoes. What are the odds of her NOT having that dress and shoes NOT in the house?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Jack?

Jack Meoff? Come on.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Very nice tale

Very well done except chapters too short and so

long in between.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightabout 17 years ago
My problem is this;

You post a very short chapter every month and a half. The readers, all of us, deserve more consideration. The story has captured my interest, but will it still be there in June, when, if you hold to your schedule, you will post a few more paragraphs? Usually, there is subterfuge, rather than old fashioned torture, but if it works, go for it. Some whiners would tell the cops they were tortured, unless you know beforehand that the guy has done some horribe thing that he cannot admit doing. The plot is interesting, but the presentation is torturous.

hansbwlhansbwlabout 17 years ago
A long wait for what?

I did not expect torture and violence. I am not so keen to see chapter 3 and If we have to wait just as long as this time, I am quite certain I will not bother to look for it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
More Soon!

Really got my interest, but please finish. The long waits suck.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
To Long a wait.

Sorry you may have a good story but I wont bother with it anymore because the chapters are to short and to far apart.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Infantile

<p>The dialogue and syntax in this "story" are written at about a third grade level. That's okay, because the story line has taken a sharp dip into revenge fantasy nonsense. The third grader must have been accosted by the playground bully and this “story” is the result. Pass this one by, readers.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally</p>

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Aargh! sooooooo frustrating

Okay, enough! Between the short chapters, the long wait and the desperate need for an editor, your stories are just too frustrating to read. Why would a writer do that???????????

ErotonautErotonautabout 17 years ago
Downhill

Congratulations: I wouldn't have thought it possible, but this makes even less sense than the first chapter. There's still no proof his wife is having an affair, but now his friend has kidnapped one of her co-workers and is about to torture the "truth" out of him? Idiocy.

PhilipinNorcalPhilipinNorcalabout 17 years ago
Puerile prose

Kidnapping and torture? And without any ensuing penal consequences I'll bet. "Jack Meoff"? Is this an attempt at humor? And in your bio you claim to be 57 y/o? I suggest you change your pen name from 'incoming' to 'infantile.'

HarryHaversackersHarryHaversackersabout 17 years ago
But...

You've got my interest, but only because your tale is so weird. I need to know where it's going.

BazzzBazzzabout 17 years ago
Slow but surely the same as usual

I had to at least give you a 25 for using the name Jack Meoff. Is that a Bulgarian name? In any event I sense a cookie cutter revenge story coming down the road. Just stop now if that's the case.

MetzovMetzovabout 17 years ago
Could you page?

I remember well when at the age of 14 my friends and I would call and ask for Tom Meoff to be paged. Then when they came back and said he wasn't answering the page asking them to page his brother Jack. That was at 14 though.

Alvaron53Alvaron53about 17 years ago
Juvenile pulp

Excuse me while I yawn.

Orion623Orion623about 17 years ago
Kind of interesting

but I don't think I want to wait 7 more weeks for another 7 minutes of reading.

bruce22bruce22about 17 years ago
Difficult

to consider this as anything other than a sitcom.

The idea that after 25 years of marraige he can not read

her is almost impossible to believe but worse yet that

he did not know anything about her job or her coworkers

would be grounds for a divorce in my view.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
I hope the next chapter doesn't wait as long

to arrive, particularly if it this short. It should come before I have forgotten this one or conclude the story, hopefully both.

jaggers0053jaggers0053about 17 years ago
frustrated

i can take the short chapters and the attempt at humor with the name, but i totaly agree with Orion623 when he says "I don't think I want to wait 7 more weeks for another 7 minutes of reading.". good luck.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
some clever poster asked in the previous chapter

"Is he an alien?" <p>

I think that poster had it quite correct: this character/husbband here sounded so alien in his approach to his wife and her activities, that's the first thing that come to mind, when you try to follow his "logic".......

Judging my the overwhelming majority of the commentors/readers here, most of us think this character, if he's not, ought to be an alien, even if he's lived with humans long enough to produce some kids in college. <p>

It's totally unbelievable.... But I actually think it is realy funny, in a very stupid and non-funny way....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Still Interested

It is moving a little slow, but I find it interesting. I hear what the nay-sayers are complaining about, but we don't know yet what he's dealing with. No actual torture yet, just the threat of it. I thought the name was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Or, it could be aimed at all the whining Jack-offs complaining ;-) I am amazed at what readers think they are "entitled to" by the writers. News flash, you aren't entitled to shit. If you don't like it, don't read it. And I'm a fucking TROLL by most standards. Incoming, please continue.......when YOU are ready.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
First could any husband be so dense as to know

nothing about his wifes employment? How many years did you say they had been married. I read the introductory paragraph and realized that was the entire chapter you had put on here. I would prefer a little meat with my reading if you dont mind. Add a few more pages from now on.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
i hope you don't let her get away with it

I hope you give it to her....big time take ever thing lever her to rot... some place...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
TO MUCH TIME 1-2-3-4?

please not to long for next chap

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Finish ! !

Please, won't someone finish this...

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
WELL! Finish it!

nm

BigFtHunterBigFtHunterover 16 years ago
PLEASE Write the Next Chapter

Incoming, are you just setting there laughing at us. Youve got a great series here Please write the next chapter soon. Glenn in NC

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
jack

jack me off, no thank you. Jak yourself off. It's nearly a year since you posted part 2 of The Photo. It's not nice of you to keep your readers waiting this long.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
It's been almost a year.....

I want to hear the 'rest of the story'...if you don't mind.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Wheres the rest

where is the rest of the story

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
where is #3???

where is the next story

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Did 'Incoming' Die?

So what's going on with Incoming? I like the way he thinks...as a fantasy. Not necessarily the things I'd do, but I love to read about it. Why doesn't he finish this...or is there anyone else out there who would have a go at it?

Just a thought....

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
what the hell is going on????????????????

I guess you don't know what " TO BE CONTINUED " means.. just try to finish this one...

SneakyP86SneakyP86about 15 years ago
this sux

I really liked the story as it is.........but to not finish it isnt very nice.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Where is the finish or havent you thought of one

?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
hey someone pick this up and complete

got a great start but GEEZ

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago

where is the end of this story

norcal62norcal62over 13 years ago
Guess we have to conclude that Incoming had died.

Otherwise why be so irresponsible as to leave this hanging?

RePhilRePhilover 13 years ago
Yup guess they rolled the BBQ under his head

Really hate unfinished stories from jerk off writters

oldwayneoldwayneover 13 years ago
Well, shit!

Don't stories like this just ache your ass?

saratusaratuabout 13 years ago
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD STORY ,,,,,,BUT,,,,

You need to give us a finish or get a lousey one star rating!!!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Did the author die?

What no ending? Did the author die?

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Finish the story.C425

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
"to be continued"

When??????

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Look at earlier comments.

This story will never be ended by the author. He

crapped out.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
THE RUSSIAN MEOFF BROTHERS

now where is Mike Hunt. TK U ML;J LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
End of story

The guy said: "let me down and I'll tell you everything about Ellen." As Bill was loosening the rope it broke, Mark fell striking his head on the corner of the BBQ and his skull split wide open. His brains spilled into the fire and he fell silent. Just then, a state trooper pulled around the barn, he jumped out of his vehicle and said "WTF!!!"

Epilouge(sp): Jack me off and Bill are cellmates and will be married soon (the story was set in San Fran or Mass.)

Ellen met the state trooper at the trial and they are now living together. She's pregnant. Her kids are pissed.

The End.

tom anon

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
re end of story

Errrr..sorry it was Rick who got his brains grilled, not Mark. Senior moment.

tom anon

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
I hate this.....

The only thing worse than a bad story is a good story with NO ENDING.

cantbuymycantbuymyabout 12 years ago
look like the last posting

the author ever made by the date on it. he had some good ones so maybe he died - i know that some have and others quit for other reasons - but he had some good ones.

LBuddGLBuddGover 11 years ago
RUN THIS OFF THE SITE

Personally, I blame this on the site administration. In the case of multi-chapter stories, I think a Part 1 should NEVER be placed on the site without submission of a part 2, with the 'time-lapse' between placements (within reason) determined by the author/editor. If a rewrite maximum time has not been met, part 2 will publish as submitted....and of course a part 3 (if there is to be one) will already have been turned in. If after a reasonable set time period no additional parts have been submitted (or story concluded), the entire story should be removed until the author submits a conclusion regardless of length or number of parts. If the author has not already done so, the administrator might add, at an appropriate (cliffhanger?) point in the story, a call for others to submit a completion or alternate ending. I (admittedly needing a life) get very involved in a good story like this one, and feel very let down (robbed) by one unfinished. I realize creative juices don't always run on a set schedule and many (most?) authors also want or need to see feedback to move a story forward; thus the limited rewrite submission period. BTW: this would also put a limitation on authors who take an inordinate amount of time between story chapters. They can take all the time they need, but the reader will be guaranteed a satisfactory conclusion within a reasonable time period.

HardFeltHardFeltover 11 years ago
HuH? But....

Good story.

Well written.

Needs more though.

It's been FIVE years.

Lost a star for time.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Someone else?

This author seems to have disappeared so in order to get an ending, maybe some other author can finish his tale and post the location in these comments? Frustrating not to have an ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

So he accused his wife of cheating with no proof whatsoever and wasn't even sure she had done it, and is threatening yet another dude without any actual proof? If she weren't actually guilty of anything, she would be perfectly justified (and if she were sane she'd do it) in divorcing his sorry, throwing him to the curb, and calling the cops on the little psychopath. You have to have more than reasonable suspicion to accuse someone of something, or you deserve to have your balls torn off for being a stupid fucking idiot.

Even though the story has been abandoned, it's obvious that she's meant to be just another cheating whore, because it's the only thing that can justify him behaving so stupidly in retrospective. Story is a failure. At least one of your stories was really good, but there's way too much broken shit like this.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Weak

A weak effort, little plot development, even less character development, except for the protag and his PI, who both seem insane. The fact that there was never a Ch. 03 was probably good, but left the tale completely unfinished.

tazz317tazz317over 10 years ago
OH WELL IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER UNFINISHED STORY

unless some one made an epilog or chapter, TK U MLJ LV NV

rightbankrightbankalmost 10 years ago
if there were a story here

I would invite other authors to Finish The Damn Story. But since there isn't one to finish. why waste other people's time like I just did reading this mess.

impo_58impo_58almost 10 years ago
Out of Literotica...

Stories not finished after one year, should get out of Literotica...This is from 2007...

Tootight1Tootight1almost 10 years ago
someone please finish this

good story line

sinsational83sinsational83over 9 years ago
what the hell is this

why write a story without an ending what's wrong with you ??. Whem are you going to be finishing this story ??

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Next chapter?

This is a good start. Don't leave us hanging, post the next part(s). Keep writing.

aptonthe503aptonthe503about 9 years ago
Lame

String the reader along and then ....

edwusaedwusaabout 9 years ago
2007 Story with no ending ...

Like it says .. where is FTDS when you need him?

EgoTrixiEgoTrixiabout 9 years ago
Right - nothing like someone...

...who doesn´t get the job finished. Poor excuse for whatever you might call him..

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
FTDS

I gave FTDS a heads up on tbis about 8 mos ago. Apparently he's not interested.

sinsational83sinsational83about 9 years ago
Not worth rating

Where the hell is the rest of the frigging story. why even write a story if you haven't got any idea how to end the damn thing.

user110user110about 9 years ago
you fucker

getting my hopes all up like that

sinsational83sinsational83about 9 years ago
DIPSHIT !!!

I was just checking this story and guess what ? you still haven't wrote anymore about it in all this time are you fucking kidding me ? why would you do something like this to the readers ? what you get off on pissing the readers off ? Maybe, just maybe they should drop your ass off of the site dickwad. FINISH THE FUCKING STORY !!!

sinsational83sinsational83about 9 years ago

oh btw if you ever finish the damn story maybe then I will give it some sort of a rating.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Irresponsible Sack of Shit!

This asshole of a writer, can't finish a story within an 8 year time frame?

My favorite line: "Jack, what you heard is not normal office behavior."- Thank you, Captain Obvious.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
5

for your effort and to help offset the asshole annony

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
writer mightbe dead

In 2009 he was in. His 60's in 2009. There might not ever be a endinguness someone else writes it. Up to this point the story not bad. Without a ending its useless tjough.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Jack Meoff?

It's Mehoff you idiot. I've learned to live with the misspelling but my brother Wank gets very upset.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Either Dead or a Shit Head

Almost 9 years and this story still isn't finished. Either the author is a double barreled asshole, or he is dead. If he failed to finish the story, as a result of his own death, this can be forgiven. Finish the Damn Story, where are you?

g912493g912493almost 8 years ago
Unfortunitly FTDS has passed away.

This would have been a perfect story for him. I know I'm a little pissed its sitting there unfinished. And no, I can't do it as I have absolutely NO writing talent.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 8 years ago
Damn

I should have read the comments first. R.I.P. Author.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Wasted time on two stories

only to find out that there's no ending. Another good reason to never allow posting a story unless submitted complete. I hate to count how many stories I've read without an ending. Sucks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
alas

To bad this could not be finished. The beginning is a darn fine story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
You Friggin Did It Again

Another unfinished story. It sucks!

computermadcomputermadabout 7 years ago
What a crock of S***

Yet another unfinished story. Waste of my time. From now on I'm going to check that there's an ending before I start reading any more stories.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

stupid short stories to a sub-par writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Another unfinished story!

Waste of time. Frustrating.

QuietlyLurkingQuietlyLurkingover 6 years ago
This is a story about a guy...

named Jack Meoff. Kinda glad this never finished.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Remove

When stories have been this long ago and left unfinished they should be removed.No story should be left unfinished for 12_18 months before being removed.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Well THAT was fucked up!

What happened to the ending? If you're reading the comments and thinking about reading the story -STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no ending. No sense frustrating yourself by reading an unfinished story.

penneydog55penneydog55about 6 years ago
Please!

To the Author or anyone! Is there another chapter somewhere written by Someone else to finish the story? As it is. it's Bloody Annoying! Let me know if you find it ? Anyway I Thank The Author for a Fantastic Story★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ WOOF!

Oh Oh Oh! The old saying! Always wear clean undies in case you get hit by a bus! Well let me tell you that you will shit yourself seconds before you get hit! POOWEE See Ya!

penneydog55penneydog55about 6 years ago
Oh

I get it Jack Meoff! Hey that's quite good I must remember It See Ya

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
WTF

Where is the fucking next chapter?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
the photo

Where is the next chapter please you need to finish this

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Ok

On wth?

Excellent story that just stopped.

oh we need a finish the dam story to finish this since author abandoned it.

Schwanze1Schwanze1almost 6 years ago
Very

light entertainment but fun nonetheless. Perhaps someone else has finished it?

Schwanze1Schwanze1almost 6 years ago
Yeah

Jack Meoff is funny. Just the sort of thing we spoke as teenagers. Then there is Anita Dick, Ben Dover and his wife Eileen.

Schwanze1Schwanze1almost 6 years ago
Credit Tazz and anon

Mike Hunt...I'd forgotten that one.

Wank Mehoff is a new one to me. I guess as long as there are teenagers there will be jokes like these. Reminds me of the Fkarwee indian tribe who used to roam the plains climbing up on high points scanning the horizon saying we're the Fkarwee.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Don't start something and then quit.

Since there hasn’t been a third story I’m guessing there never will be. It could have been interesting.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Junior got caught

By mommy and got his little butt spanked real good or else he just up and died.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsover 5 years ago
Dang it, finish the story!

You're telling a good story and then nothing for 11 years? You're killing me!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
UNFINISHED GARBAGE!

DO NOT START! NOT COMPLETE!

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