All Comments on 'How to Keep Elephants...'

by Unbridled_Passion

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  • 23 Comments
rachlourachloualmost 17 years ago
Hehehe

Very funny! I have never had an elephant problem, but I will remember your invaluable tips just in case...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
A good laugh......

Truely funny............ I hate those pesky elephants....

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
What kind of elephant?

It's certainly believable, but does it work on Indian as well as African elephants ???

(Indian elephants have smaller ears)

BOSTONFICTIONWRITERBOSTONFICTIONWRITERalmost 17 years ago
Weird but creatively funny.

My neighbor called the cops on me when she saw me jerking off on my plants. Then, the cops threw a rope around my penis. They thought it was a snake. I told them that I was showing my trunk to scare ofF the elephants.

They told me that I'll be out the beginning of June after my 30 days of observation. Thanks for nothing. I don't even have elephants.

Weird but creatively funny.

Boxlicker101Boxlicker101almost 17 years ago
Silly

This is just silly.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
assam

i stay in assam and we have a lot of wild elephants. they keep on destroying the fences all the time. i will try to follow your wonderful advice. could you please tell me what does an elephant ear plant look like? the masturbating is not really working. i had my whole village masturbate around the field, but the crops are getting destroyed.

l8blooml8bloomalmost 17 years ago
LMAO!

Wish this guide was around when I bought my house! Maybe it's not too late to give these helpful-sounding tips a try. Thanks for the giggles :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
ah, so that is what i was doing wrong!

thank you for the tip :)

Maharat

My Erotic TrailMy Erotic Trailalmost 17 years ago
elephant...

truly witty and imaginative, a very entertaining literary journey ... (chuckleboned) (~_~) good luck and most definitely thanks for sharing!

HikergirlHikergirlalmost 17 years ago
As a gardener....

...i'm very grateful for this wealth of a good advice. Now what can I do to get rid of aphids?

templemindedtemplemindedalmost 17 years ago
you can have them

lol...very cute. glad that is not a problem that i have had i thought kids were enough guess you have more on your plate than i do on mine. keep up the good work and good luck in the contest.you have my vote.

love,

nin (sandra)

RogueLurkerRogueLurkeralmost 17 years ago
Ok, so once I get rid of the elephants ...

I'm curious what your advice would be to get rid of grubs. :) A wonderful bit of satire - delivered perfectly. Well done.

glynndahglynndahalmost 17 years ago
Yeah, but does it work for other animals?

I'd love to get those pesky chickens off my front porch.

Selena_KittSelena_Kittalmost 17 years ago
The title...

The title alone was worth it... I just think elephants are inherently funny. :) Great how-to! I'm still smiling!

Selena

WhiteWave48WhiteWave48almost 17 years ago
What a piece of fun!

You've created a very amusing something on how to get rid of a something else that was never there in the first place and is most unlikely to appear anywhere near your yard in the future. Very clever.

_Lynn__Lynn_almost 17 years ago
Made Me Smile...

The neighbors here already think I'm weird. Doing this would prove it!...... Good luck.

MarshAlienMarshAlienalmost 17 years ago
Well, that didn't work.

I read this story two weeks ago, and have spent the time since jerking off all over my 150-acre ranch. Needless to say, by the time we bought the mice, my "trunk" was just too dad-gummed tired for any sex, let alone loud sex. So we skipped that part. You guessed it, elephants out the wazoo. I'm quite certain that this would work in suburbia, though. Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Another method

Elephant powder is a well-know cure-all for the condition.

Simply spread over the flower-beds.

Be warned, though; it can also affect domestic pets.

lorencinolorencinoover 16 years ago

So that's what the people who lived here before me did. I've never seen any sign of elephants.

Satin and LaceSatin and Laceabout 16 years ago
This made my day brighter

What a funny idea to write about. It should be quite true too.

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 16 years ago
Can you attract African parrots?

Thank you so much for the wealth of information (you never know when you'll need it). Do you know how to attract africn parrots?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago

Ok

The punchline.

Good :)

And furthermore...

I believe you're right too.

Cheers

Yoron

Anonymous
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