All Comments on 'Fern'

by SleepingLove

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Okay, constructive criticism

While I enjoyed your tale, you should really remember that if you're going to write a period tale you should keep your descriptions for that time period. You mention swimmer's body, and while I know what that is, I was a swimmer since I was four, in that time period, people would have looked at you pretty strangely.

Keep with the language of the period, it makes the tale much better to read and doesn't jar the reader out of the story.

Emerald_DragonEmerald_Dragonalmost 17 years ago
not bad

This story was pretty good. I liked the characters and got into them fairly quickly. You need someone to edit your story for grammar and spelling errors though. It was distracting to be into the story and wondering what was going to happen next and then run into an error. Check out the editors that volunteer. I am working with a couple and they are great! I would love to read this story again after a quick rewrite!! Please write a part 2. Does he kill off the bitch?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
I liked it a lot

This story was really well written. I enjoyed it.

coffinbaitcoffinbaitover 16 years ago
Hope you write a part two

Even though there were some grammer and spelling mistakes I really enjoyed this tale I do hope you continue. I love vampire erotica and jump at any chance to read it when it is on lit erotica

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
GOOD.

YOUR STORY IS AMAZING. IT IS A PERFECT MIXTURE OF LOVE AND SEX. PLEASE CONTINUE IT. I'LL OOK FOR MORE LATER.

Anonymous
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