All Comments on 'Innocent Pawn Ch. 11'

by wishfulthinking

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  • 71 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Fantabulous...

I loved it, I dunno what you were worried about! It's written beautifully, as usual, and Leonn is, as ever, sexy as fuck.

Of course, I probably would have appreciated a final sex scene when he takes her home 'cos it does feel like you just wanted to finish the tale and get it over and done with by the end, but hey-ho, just my opinion!

You are a fantastic writer, be proud!

And well done :D

Zera

x

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Lovely

and what a way to kill off a bad guy, excellent job.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Holy Shit

shocked the hell out of me...but in a good way.

Fantastic story, the only thing I wish you had included was a epilogue (of sorts) telling whether they had a boy or girl :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Brilliant

Wonderful! Loved how you disposed of the villan. Once again you are an amzing story teller.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Yeah!

So glad to see the story finished. I'm, glad to see you writing again. Can't wait until you finish your other stories.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Awesome story!

So glad you finished this one. ;) You are one of the best writers on here. And I don\\\'t say that lightly!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Absolutely addictive!

Once again you have entranced everyone with your impeccable writing abilities. This erotic story enveloped everything you could want--force, reluctance, lust, suspence, passion, romance, and the list goes on. Please continue with other stories. Thanks!

SecretFantasy69SecretFantasy69over 16 years ago
You are addictive...

WOw!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Hot!

I love this story. Is there any chance at all of you finishing "Conquered" too? You write so well.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
Great!

It was really a great story. Like someone else said is there any chance of you finishing conquered?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
amazing

i hope you finish "Conquered" that one is amazing. I really like it. You should finish that before anything else ;)

shygirl71shygirl71about 15 years ago
I am addicted to your writing

I absolutely love your stories. Thank you so much!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
WOW

OMG you got me reading all of the chapter now!

This was so arousing and amazing! I really loved your stories. I actually read most of them and find that it just keeps getting better and better! Continue the great work, to keep us reading !

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
It was AMAZING!

This was probably one of the best stories I have ever read on here or any other erotic literature website! The character development was superb, especially Bella's! Most stories I read have flat, non-emotional characters that only want to have sex. You have created multi-demensional characters who want to have sex! Thank you so very much for deciding to bring your writing skill to this website!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Oh my goodness.

I NEVER leave comments, but this...this is the best thing I've ever read on this site.

vegpiratevegpirateover 14 years ago
Wow.

I never, EVER read multiple part stories. But this one was so good that I just couldn't stop! Amazing piece!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Better than published authors

I read and agree with all the other comments. Not one under 100, that's saying something. Now I'm sure after all these compliments, you already know your story is amazing, so allow me to stroke your ego ;) The character development was perfect, I love how Bella grows throughout the whole story line, it was very believable. Leon is an absolutely perfect villain/hero, you can't help but fall in love with him. The way you write allows the reader to empathize with the character, which makes the story so much more real. As a long long time fanatic of romance novels, I hope you start publishing. I would buy any book of yours in a heartbeat!!! Good Luck

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
great effort

I've read the entire series, and while I do think that your story idea is great and your descriptions are quite sexy, you should devote a little more effort to proofreading. There are multiple instances where you use the wrong word, double up words, put words in the wrong order, use incorrect spelling or conjugation, etc. It can be a little distracting, especially when the mistakes obscure what you're trying to say. Again, I think the story itself is great and sexy and all that.

Good luck and keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Hot Hot!

So good i loved it what a crazy love story

you have got to give us another one please

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Review

I really enjoyed this, thanks for the cute love story and the dark moments!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
yummy

wow. i loved ever part of it. Mmmm...

ellebelle6ellebelle6about 14 years ago
my favorite

by far my favorite of all your stories, thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
wonderful!

i absolutely looooooooove this! you're fucking awesome! and not just regular awesome...fucking awesome!!!! lol great job!

monaonemonaonealmost 14 years ago
Enchanting

thank you so much, it's the beauty we're all looking for. :) fight on!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago

i loved it . a beautful story. i hope you post more

canndcanndalmost 14 years ago
Wonderful story

I enjoyed the story alot! It was very well written with an interesting plot and great characters. I hope you write more.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
:)

i loved alll of it sooo sweet im crying you rock

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

Lovely! I only wish that Bella could have gotten HER wish, in the end... ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Lovely

Thank you for this lovely and heart warming story!

Rudegal74Rudegal74over 13 years ago

I absolutely enjoyed this story.

DepressedHappinessDepressedHappinessover 13 years ago

that was absolutely amazing! congratulations on a wonderfully well written story. :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
wow.

loved your story..

raven616raven616about 13 years ago

from start to the end I enjoyed it. THANKS

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
AWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved it far more than you could know! Thank you so much for this! I love romance! :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
I loved it!

I was completely enamoured with this story... the characters are so real the plot so tantalizing... the writing flawless... truely an awesome story!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

I loved it

Its was great start to finish

Can u do a part 2 pllllz

LeatherBiteLeatherBitealmost 13 years ago
:) <3

Very good story, took me quite a while to read, but I just loved it, the description is exquisite, I loved how she was a captive but they eventually fell in love- wonderful plot, wonderful love story. Thankyou for a pleasant evening reading this :)

subdtsubdtalmost 13 years ago
Wonderful!

One of the best series I have read. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
More...

I want more of every series that I read by you! Please keep producing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Love your story!

EXCELLENT!!! Couldn't stop reading it!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
absolutely LOVED it!! <3

this was great! i couldnt stop reading the story! fantastic!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
AWESOME

The best story ever. Romantically epic :D

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Bravo!!

that was the best story i've ever read..bravo...you are amazing...

cant wait to read more of your work.

Sincerly,

SensualMinx

ladybug71ladybug71over 12 years ago
Fantastic!!

This story was fantastic....I loved it!!!! You are a very good writer, so please continue your stories!!!!!!!! :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
U r the best...

EXCELLENT!!! Couldn't stop reading it!!!!

Plz also complete your "Novice" series...

stevesslavestevesslaveover 12 years ago
loved it but get a spellchecker

Plot was original. Twists beautifully unpredictable. Why, however, did it take 11chapters to learn how to spell realize? Agonize, antagonize, and tantalize also need "z's" not "s's". Then to be so "s"happy, you spell defense with a "c"? Please get a spell checker! Finally, an editor might be good. If I had to guess, I believe you meant precariously instead of "prevariously" and intimidate instead of "intimated" in chapter 9. Otherwise, you are a writer worthy of Connie Mason or Cheryl Holt!

huntersangelhuntersangelover 12 years ago
oh wow!

this was such an excellent story! i came across it by pure accident and i am so glad i did. i especially loved chapt. 9 when Bella had Leonn bound for her pleasure. that was such an erotic chapter. excellent job wishfulthinking and i hope to read more from u.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Amazzzing :)

omg! read from like 1am to 4am just to finish :D awesomely amazing story!

mojo23mojo23about 12 years ago
Awesome story

Loved this story!!! Looking forward to reading more of your work.

QuickQuestion89QuickQuestion89about 12 years ago
@steveslave

The spelling corrections you're making reference to, "tantalising, realising" etc. - Using a "z" is the American English spelling. Evidently the Author prefers to use the proper English spelling but this does not make her spelling incorrect.

Scotsman69Scotsman69about 12 years ago
Most of the English-speaking world

does not use uniquely US spelling. Anonymous is heavily outnumbered.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
; )

Most awesome thing I ever read on here!!! This would be an awesome movie!!!

GingerVyeGingerVyeabout 12 years ago
Top notch

Excellent character development, it never got boring.

cookies7cookies7almost 12 years ago
Wow!

You are a very accomplished writer with a vivid imagination. Only a truly awesome writer can make the reader hate a character as much as I hated Bella's father. Keep up the great work!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Brava

Love the whole story, I don't care to enter the spelling debate. There may have been a few typos here and there, and the spellings of certain words added, I think, to the setting of the the stories time and place. Loved it. More please!

redstilettoheelsredstilettoheelsover 11 years ago

Excellent story, the plot & character development were great. I have been reading all of your stories, you are very good! The spelling errors were hardly noticeable, i was more worried at the fact i have been reading this all night and haven't had any sleep, i loved it so much :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Wonderful story!

Gripping plot, great character development, and fantastic descriptions. My one complaint is that Bella and Leonn never seem to get to know each other, and that they seem to only want each other sexually, instead of being truly in love.

Llyric777Llyric777about 11 years ago
amazing

I have been up all night reading and I can honestly say I am truly sad the story is at an end. I was gripped from the beginning. There were a few errors here and there, saying she was in a blue dress and then a pale green one a few lines later but I quickly forgot and was caught up in the story. With a tad refinement this would make an amazing published work. One I would gladly pay for. Consider a sequel???

-Forever a greedy fan!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago

I have really enjoyed this series, any chance of a Marie follow up?

pheobecharmedpheobecharmedabout 11 years ago

Awwwwwww come on I want to see the after math when they gt back to the castle lol great story

evonnaevonnaalmost 11 years ago
Death by almond oil.

Love it. All of it. And would love to see what happens when they get to the castle.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
More!!

I loved this story!! I hope you end up writing more sometime. I'd love to see what's next for this couple and watch them have kids and experience married life. Please!

Nemo18Nemo18over 10 years ago
You can't end it like that

How is she punished for running off? What happens to Marie? Come on, tell us PLEASE!!!

Danielle27Danielle27over 10 years ago
MORE PLEASE!!

I must know more!!! What happens to Marie and the baby?

mirkwoodwhoremirkwoodwhoreabout 10 years ago
amazing

You should write more!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Beautifully written story. I thought Bella's horrible father would never die. The sick man kept coming back aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh! But I loved that Bella has found her prince in shining gold and black. Plse continue the story to at least the birth of the baby and what happens to evil Marie????

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
love the entire series

I can't stop reading it once I started. Love this story A LOT! Thank you for writing such amazing story...the sex scenes and the little bdsm scenarios are not just exotic but heart warming at the same time. Your story does contain what a subbie needs...the ownership...being used.....trust+lust+love with the Master...and the after caring.....I just love it. I appreciate u to write such amazing story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Thank you

Thank you for this story. I wished I could've read it a long time ago. I loved it... It was great :D

near1111near1111about 8 years ago
great

Another wonderful Story. I now read 3 of your stories and liked all of them. You follow a pattern in all your stories (innocent Girl, cruel man who thinks that he can tames the Girl only to find out that she tamed him).

This Story had slightly more Drama then your other stories which i read (captured and conquerd) and a nice happy ending. I am happy that Marie finaly did the right Thing and killed the Monster of a father. 5 stars.

GemmaGreyGemmaGreyabout 8 years ago
Wow

Started out just liking it a little, but somewhere along the way, I got really into this story! Sad to see it end, but loved every second of it! I liked the twist at the end with Marie

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
So beautiful ❀

This is one of my favourite stories! Thank you so much, dear author, for sharing your fantasies with us. Eleven long chapters filled with sexual tension which never gets old, you are so talented!!!!! Never stop writing β€πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™

Anonymous
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