by gen_man69
You have the core of a good story here, but your writing is very amateurish (somewhat like a 15 year-old's fantasies). It also needs a good copy edit for grammar, noun-verb agreement, etc. You have potential but would benefit from having one of the Lit voluntary editors go through your story before publishing it.
Yes there were some structural problems and yes, the grammar could have been a little better but the underpinning (or could it be overarching) eroticism was ten times better than many on here. A good effort bravely executed. Perhaps an editor could have helped you shape it more but don't be put off from writing. I sense your skills will grow like my cock did reading it..lol.
After reading the other, so called, "comments", I feel somewhat ashamed. I gave you a 75 because of two things: A. Skirts would have been a lot more accessible everywhere that they "went". B. I'm a pantyhose "freak" and very few, if anybody, gets a 100 without them. Nothing presonal, just give it some thought.