by acdd123
this jackass acdd123 would just keep posting crap like his fathers asset story that was crap from chapter 1 and just keep pucking up more!
started interestingly enough then broke open to reveal dog shit. please dont write more crap like this. you wasted my time...big time waste
it so easy to write some good,but to write ugly crap just to write it,that sucks.what hole did your parent get you from,you wasn't birth.
You write shit for stories. Matter of fact they aren't even stories. I think that you. the " writer haha" is just trying to bad mouth someone you know in a story and get your rocks, your pathetic little weiner, all two inches, off. That's all I got to say. Your characters aren't good enough to comment on freak.
I know all the stories here have a limit of 18 years or older for the characters but should the same age limit not be applied to the authors, no sorry, make that writers, no wrong word again, ah yes, keyboard tappers as well?
This keyboard tapper should at least try to graduate from high school before dazzling us with anymore of his brilliant creations.
My condolences to your teachers.
...suck. Gawd, this almost seemed like it had potential, but it petered out prematurely, spewing little dribbles on the page before it could get into real fucking. Hope that doesn't hit too close to home.
Only an author who is an Ass Hole would wtite a piece of shit like this.Do you enjoy writting a story where nice guys get fucked over by a cheating slut wife and a so called best friend?I see no other reasor for someone to write garbage like this.People who put dowm nice people for no reason have to be sick and should seek help.
Malcolm's brother, David, looked thru the sighting device on the RPG at the laughing threesome. Goodbye you sick motherfuckers he thought as the projectile blew the two women and Mark into a million bloody pieces. Happy ending!
I've seen better stories floating in the toilet after a night of hard drinking. The writing was lousy, the plot was predictable and I have to wonder if grade three has been the toughest 12 years of your life. Do us all a favor and never write again...not a paragragh, not a postcard not even the outside of an envelope, nothing at all, ever again because shit like that stinks up the whole site. Shoulda called your story "Asswipe" because all it's good for is wiping shit.
I hope you are getting the message...your story stinks.
I've seen better stories floating in the toilet after a night of hard drinking. The writing was lousy, the plot was predictable and I have to wonder if grade three has been the toughest 12 years of your life. Do us all a favor and never write again...not a paragragh, not a postcard not even the outside of an envelope, nothing at all, ever again because shit like that stinks up the whole site. Shoulda called your story "Asswipe" because all it's good for is wiping shit.
I hope you are getting the message...your story stinks.
I'd like to give this a big fat 0, but even this deserves something. The entire storyline had possibilities, but there was no real good character development, plot. Too short, too predictable and just too ridiculously written. Poorly structured -- needs lots of help. Try again or quit writing.
be in the Humour section but that would
reduce the impact. I really do not understand
these negative comments. It is a fun story!
With a tongue in cheek!
What kind of person posts stories like this, where the person is cuckolded by a best friend/father with a HUGE dick? I would guess first that the author has very little imagination, hence the same story line time after time after time.... Second, the author probably associates with the cuckoldee rather than the cuckolder, that is woefully inadequate with delusions of grandeur. Do the world a favor and go gently into that good night. The world would be a better place not being tainted by any more of the author's shit.
Needs to be a little more detail. To answer a question by one of the other commentors, good people get fucked over because they are so easy.
Its the same kind of story that was written except the other one was with a Father and his son his father had a big cock and every wife or girl friend the son met or had was taken from him by his dad so there pretty similiar in context.
There is an excellent ending for stories like this in Lit. It "Yesterday's Gone". The author needs to rethink the husbands reactions and plan a second chapter with a more fitting end for everyone! After all if a man is broken exactly what does he have to lsoe.............
OT WOULD BE A PISS IN THE PAN WHEN A MAN LIKE THA TGETS MONEY BELIEVE ME HE GUARDS IT AND IF THEY GOT ANYTHING HELL STILL BE SITTING ON THE SIDELINES LAUGHING WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE ..HAVE TO SAY A PISS POOR STORY
this "plan" is filled with such big holes even a whale would escape through it! An ill reputed man shows up shortly after a rich man get robbed off his all his property and what's in it for Brenda? And her husband suspects nothing? And who likes nasty characters to begin with?
The story needs no other comments; it's not worth it.
it surely doesn' take so many months to write a "revenge" part for such a thin story.
What a pleasant surprise, an author that's even worse than Samual X. I really did not think that there could be a worse author but you beat him hands down.
All hail the worst of the worst
when these writers write bullshit,this how you comment.
can assume you really some practical lessons in writing and conceptual development. Women such as described in this story have very short life expectancies as they always seem to be accident prone. No man would let a slut run off and take his money, some overgrown boys might, but no men.
If malcolm was smart enough to have gotten it in the first place, he would not have just given it after a (setup) daliance. And she was no quite so sheltered, and her act worked, that would not completely surprise me. For the scam to work, he had to be completely stupid, and was not. AS for mark, jenny and brenda would probably be discarded eventually, so the key is the control of the money. despicable people and story.
It's very sad to see guys write this kind of stupid story. If you don't feel good about yourself, start doing positive things to raise your self image, not go for the gutter to wallow among the pigs.
Maybe you should try Other categories ???? Keep writing though only with practice can we expect to improve
"I didn't know what an orgasm was until two weeks ago"...
"I met him before and we fucked like rabbits"
What brilliant writing shithead!!!
it shoud say huge dick head writer as a tag for the story
Wanted to see what you had. Incredibly disappointed. Story without merit.
I am forced to believe that any male who writes or enjoys a story like this must be a pathetic little man who is lucky to get a woman by paying them. Such a man lives in a dream world where they are the Mark's of these stories and can strike back at the world for their pathetic little existence.
What else could one possibly think considering a story like this?
From your writing style, I know who you are in real life.
First name 'Fuck', last name 'Wit'
Mother fucker cock sucker cheating whore skank slut cunt. What's scary is that there are people like this that exist in the world.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Old 2000 years genre the peak of this sort of stories was at Bocaccio's Decameron in the XIV Century. Are not there PRENUPTIAL AGREEMANT IN THE SCOTTISH LAW????????????????????? or Malcolm was extra stupid dumb ass husband.
I always had a respectful opinions of scotsmen. Pity to know they are such fools. Still, she was part Spanish so he was out of his league.
have a tendency to bite back, if a clan can rally, TK U MLJ LV NV
Not worth even a single star for this sick twisted tale of cheating and crime.
Kick the cunt to the road and keep all the money. NOBODY is that stupid. Awful writing.
Stop writing coward... You are one huge queer and need to get a huge ass kicking...
I felt like the beginning was really good but about half way through it felt rushed. it had alot of potential
Malcolm would never give up his money. That money can always get another Jenny!
Mark already knows about the two of them. WTF. Why did you write a pure garbage story? Stop writing please, or go read Vandemonium1
If you can believe it, this isn't as bad as the other story by this author that I wasted time on. They both suck, but then other one sucked more.
Was this done by a monkey beating on a word processor? It has to be a science project. Nobody can write something this bad and post it.