All Comments on 'Cum-filled Surprise Ch. 07'

Giln: your story started off exactly what I was hoping for; no lead in, no development, just cut directly to the sex. A few things went wrong though. There are actually a lot of spelling/grammar mistakes that you didn't catch. Normally I don't care too much but for some reason this time it was distracting. I used to make a lot of spelling mistakes in my stories too because I'd be so horny while writing them I'd just write to get the story out, and then upload it. Given the lack of character/plot development, I think you probably did the same thing here. The 2nd drawback to the story is that you included it in the FETISH category, where people download the story to get something wild and different. A deep throat cum is not really "fetish" on a site like this. Right when the story was approaching an actual fetish inclusion (the cream-pie ending) you cut the story off and ended it! ARRRGH!

I really enjoyed this story too. I was also tripped up by the grammatical mistakes (mostly omitted words like "of" or "it" which were easily worked out.

The fact that the Ford Taurus detail was mentioned for two consecutive guys was the most glaring mistake.

I know this was all written a long time ago, so I guess it's too much to hope that you'll continue the story.... but I hope you do. It was really hot! And I appreciated the technical detail too. Kudos!

Jack