All Comments on 'Officially About Diana Ch. 01'

a little short and a not really understandable (what's the benefit besides jail for father and all other adults) and therefore to much science fiction

The story sequence seems to run backwards with Chapter 1 telling more than Chapter two. I understand how you did this, but that does not make it worthwhile to do. Unless Chapter 2 is going to fill in a specific detail of why something happened in Ch. 1, its hardly worth doing. Also, the "imaginative" idea of posters and calendars being displayed openly is like a parallel universe where things are different. I'd almost expect the calendars to be displayed in a possibly secret "play room" or family room that only special guest are invited in to, but HEY its your story dude! Also, I think you have pretty much revealed that DD loves being exposed and playing adult games even though she never says it, so the idea of her being 'forced' into situations is a bit unbelievable. - I'm not saying you should give up with the story line, just take into account how the facts fit with the actions a little more often. - It might be easier to write in DD saying, "Now that I am an adult, I am going to have adult fun! You men can enjoy it or ignore it, its your choice."

Firstly the photos do not belong solely to the photographer! The model must give written and signed permission for them to be distributed (i.e. a model release form), so a bit of research into that would have gone down well.

Secondly the sister is pathetic and seems to have the IQ of an ape! If this character is real, I really pity her, but to be honest she seems fake.

continue please!